Saturday, October 31, 2015

Pop goes the soda!

I am soooooooooo proud of the wife....she gave up diet pop three months ago and has stuck to it. This is quite the momentous feat, considering she has been drinking diet pop her whole life. I never thought I'd live to see the day she would cease consumption of her beloved Golden Arches Diet Coke. She loved that stuff almost much as....... her car. (You didn't think I was going to say me, did you??) In fact, she insisted it must have cocaine in it because it was sooooo good and sooooo addictive.

I've been bitching about diet pop for years on end. I stopped drinking pop (or, do you say soda?) in 1997 and have never looked back. I had been seeing this holistic health lady and she said the diet pop had to go (that, and the mercury fillings in my teeth). I thought she was nuts, but I did it anyway. I owe that lady a huge thanks because those simple changes were quite helpful in the health department. (Bonus points for my teeth look better because there is no silver poison shining through my pearly whites.)

The wife had been feeling constantly achy and ridiculously lethargic with nary a reason to be found. Insult to injury, she was unable to lose the weight of which she had slowly gained over the past few years.

I'd like to say I was her motivation but I had nothing to do with it. The scale was the ultimate motivation. One day I heard a terrifying scream from the basement, home of the scale.

That was the end of diet pop.

So, she went cold turkey. She "enjoyed" a day or two of what I considered horrific and understandable withdrawal symptoms and didn't get off the couch for a day or two. She had a massive headache and was not in the cheeriest of moods. Still, she hung in there. Caffeine be damned, she gutted it out. She kept her eye on the prize: remaining diet pop free. The specific prize the eye was on? One bazillion less chemicals filling the wife's very being, with a side of being less achy and lethargic. Losing weight would be a delicious bonus.

Guess what? The wife is no longer achy, feels more energetic, is not as hungry as she used to be and......she's lost almost ten pounds.

What a woman!!!
I ooze with pride and gasp in wonder. Seriously, this is big stuff in the Addiverse. It's like me giving up chocolate.


Now that she has gone three months, I felt it safe to interview her on her successes.
Here's the official transcript of my interview with the diet-pop-free grrrrrl:

Me: Do you say pop or soda?

The Wife: "I guess I say pop now."

Me: Huh?

The Wife: "I used to say soda until I moved here." (Insert scoff at the flaterlander way of saying soda.)

Me: When did you start drinking diet pop?

The Wife: "I've basically drunk it my whole life."

Me: Why? (Barbara Walters has nothing on my interviewing prowess.)

The Wife: "Calories."

Me: What did you like about diet pop?

The Wife: "I liked how it tasted and how it made feel--the caffeine. It was a pick me up."

Me: What was it about McD's Diet Coke that was so special?

The Wife: "It was clean and crisp tasting." (Seriously. She said that.)

Me: What motivated you to quit diet pop?

The Wife: "Stepping on the Scale."

Me: But, it's diet pop. How did that tie to the scale?

The Wife: "Because I knew I had to do something more healthy. And, I've heard people said they'd lost weight after giving up diet pop."


 Me: What else have you changed?

The Wife: "I'm taking my lunch to work instead of going out so much. I'm not eating after dinner."
 
Note to readers: she's never been a big after-dinner eater. I've always been impressed by that. I need a snack. Or, two.)

Me: Do you miss it? Diet pop, that is.

The Wife: [emphatically and without any hesitation] "No." 

Me: Do you feel differently now?

The Wife: I'm not achy anymore. I'm not as hungry anymore. I overall feel better."

Me: What are you drinking instead?

The wife: "Carbonated waters and juices. Water. I dilute the juices with water."

Me: What's next on the agenda?

The Wife: "Move more."

Me: I hope you mean exercise more and not move to the land of soda.

The Wife: "Going for a walk."

I like it. No need for unnecessary pressure of a formal game plan. Take it as it comes. One walk at a time, Sweet Jesus.

There may or may not be correlation between giving up diet pop and losing weight; the jury is still out on that in the scientific world. I've seen it enough times with my own eyes to vote that there is weight loss when stopping diet pop. Eating brown bag lunches certainly added to the wife's success but I believe the diet pop was the catalyst to her journey of wellness and weight loss.

Lest there be any sad, bad feelings in the Addiverse, please know that I judge no one for their love and consumption of diet pop. Most of our friends love diet pop and that's all good with me. Heck, I drank diet pop from 1970-1997, so I have no room to judge anyone. (Tab. I drank Tab. What a delightfully awful product that was! And, what a great pink can.) I'm just glad the wife is no longer drinking it. She is an inspiration.

If she goes back hitting the soda bottle, so be it.... but, my money says she won't. She's an incredibly dedicated person when it comes to making a change. She says something, she does it. The wife puts her money where her mouth is. Mess with her, if you dare....but,

....I wouldn't mess with her. She's energetic and lighter. My money is fully on her.
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Sunday, October 25, 2015

Beaming and Binging

For those of you who are part-taking in the "ten year-zero-views" project, I hope you are enjoying the opportunity to read posts that have few if any views. I know I've enjoying flashing back. I've embraced this project and am updating all sorts of things, most of which I'm not re-posting. I can't leave the less-than-fabulous posts out there for anyone to see.  

I've noticed a few things about the decade-old posts: 

(1) Many are super-dated; in fact, it is almost mind-boggling how much things have changed in such a short time. To my 20 year old nieces, ten years is an eternity. To me, it seems like yesterday...only yesterday is a whole lot different than today. Who knew?
(2) Many blog posts don't stand alone--they don't make full sense without reading previous blogs. That's good and bad. I'd prefer they stand alone--like a good trypic in art, the three paintings work as a whole yet can still stand on their own. So, as I re-work them, I am designing to be stand-alone. This effort won't solve world hunger or win a Pulitzer but it will make me feel better about my electronically-shared efforts.
(3) The older posts tend to be shorter in length and more frequent in post, as I used to write much, much more frequently. I think it's a sign of good mental health that I'm writing less.  
(4) Poop stands the test of time. Lots of poop posts. For this, I am proud. In fact, all of the bodily function posts seem relevant. (Well, define relevant.)

Let's see how long it takes for this post to become dated and irrelevant....
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Between Netflix and YouTube, one can lose days of life without realizing it. A blessing and a curse, this approach to media has left me blurry-eyed and a pound heavier. (Hey, one has to keep up her sugar level while working to stay focused. Snacking is a must.) This week, I managed to binge watch Season One of "Game of Thrones" (gave me nightmares--ugh--don't know if I can watch any more of that show), Season 8 of "Doctor Who" and Seasons 1, 2 and 6 of "Glee." I still had time to go to work and eat but other than that, I did little else. I don't know what inspired this ridiculous way of being but I was moved to not move.

I became one with the couch and stared at the tablet, laptop and/or TV with abandon. 

This binge-watching way of life has become very popular. I often hear co-workers or friends talk about their netflixing over the weekend. I thought taking cell phone photos of everything (instead of staying in there here and now) was bad enough; we've digressed to sitting on the couch for 12 hours at a time instead of walking anywhere besides to the bathroom or mail box. 

The wife does not understand or embrace binge-watching. She suggests I must not have anything else to do. Oh, I do. I have things to do. Such things just have to wait.

Perhaps, from a psychological standpoint, I should contemplate what I am avoiding. But, I really don't think I'm avoiding much of anything. I had an entire Saturday to my schedule and I chose to spend it eating chocolate and watching a mind-numbing amount of electronic visual arts. (Art being a relative term.) I am fortunate to have much less work to do on the weekends--my job doesn't require all the after hours work it once used to require. On the other hand, the wife is ALWAYS working. She doesn't have time or interest in staring at a screen for hours at a time. (Those who think being a professor is a cake walk are wong. Shame on you. The lady is always doing work. Right now she's reading all sorts of dribble about peers up for tenure. I'm exhausted just thinking about her schedule.)

Thankfully, I am now over-saturated and ready to return to the land of the living. I've had suggestions of other series to watch but I can't do it right now. It will have to wait until I build my stamina.

As for cell phone cameras....when I go places, I've noticed that everyone is taking photos instead of staying in the here and now. That's why I've been trying to not take photos--instead, I've been actually LOOKING at things, living things, enjoying things. My biggest effort in the past month was at the Madonna concert. Every where I looked, cell phones were in the air, pointed toward the stage. I would say at least 75% of those in attendance spent their time watching the concert via their cell phone screens. I took a few photos at the beginning and then put my phone away.

I allowed myself to be immersed in the happening.  If I can do this, anyone can do this. Trust me. I love my phone. I love having instant access to just about anything or anyone. But, living is beyond my phone. Life is out there, not in there.

This phone-beyond-a-phone thing is a permeating phenomenon. The texting-internet-camera phone thing has led to a whole new culture, a new way of being. I see this every day at work when new employees come to training. When I take a photo for the employee badge, I am corrected and told to take the photo from a bit higher perspective--meaning like how one takes a selfie. "It makes you look so much better," they tell me.

So, I take non-selfie selfies. 

The photos don't look any better to me but they look a billion percent better to the employee, so I go with it. If they don't like the photo I take, I give them an option of taking a selfie and texting it to me.

We have some pretty entertaining employee badges right now.

Soon, no one will talk or even look up. If I were a chiropractor, I'd be licking my chops. They have to be seeing a profound increase in neck injuries, as everyone is always bent over looking at their phone screens.

Don't get me wrong--I just spent a week holding or staring at an electronic device every waking moment when not at work. These comments are not a judgement on anyone.

It is an observation of the world going round and round.

Sometimes, I think about how we are bombarded....zapped....flooded with beams and signals and frequencies and electronic waves.  Every single moment of our lives, we are awash in particles of this and that. I wonder what we would think if we could actually see these things? Would we be terrified, mystified or awe-inspired?

Sometimes, I think my clients with mental illness are onto something. They talk about things being beamed from space into their apartments or into their very beings.... who am I to say they are wrong? It's actually rather true. When they talk about the beams coming from the satellite to their electric sockets or TV or radio, they are actually correct....maybe they can see what we cannot.

Perhaps we should applaud them rather than medicate them. Instead of asking what antipsychotic shoud be prescribed, we should be asking, "What on Earth is all this "stuff" doing to our very beings?"

Counting the niece living with us, we have two routers, at least three computers in use (sometimes, I have my work computer at home and the wife has a work computer, too--so, that's opportunity for five computers at one time), four cell phones, three tablets, and god knows how many iPods. We hook things up via blue tooth and routers. We text, we call, we email, we post.

That's a lot of zapping and beaming. 

I'm glad clients can't come to my house. They'd scare the shit out of me with all the things they'd describe and see.

All this thinking has inspired me to step away from the electronics and actually go outside for a few minutes. Today, I am going to post this blog, turn off (and put away) my computer, stay away from my tablet, turn off my cell phone and not turn on the TV until football comes on.....

That's in 2 hours, 15 minutes. I know I can go that long without any electronics in my life. I may shake and groan a little bit, but I can make it.


My electronics have become unmanagable. But, they will be the powerless ones, not me.

After all, I'm turning off their power. I have the power for them to be powerless. The beams and signals will still be there will be a bit less zapping directly into my being for a few minutes.

Perhaps I can binge read books this week instead of binge-watching anything. As long as it's a real book, not an electric copy, it's all good.

Beam me down, Scotty. You can beam me up later.





Friday, October 23, 2015

Number Two of the Addiverse Rewind: Dating myself



No, no, no--I'm not dating myself. I'm dating myself.
 
These non-viewed posts are fun (IMHO) because they are SOOOO dated. See how much changes in a decade? Sheesh.  Me still running, MySpace, low rise jeans AND the advent of cameras on cell phones. Dated. 

This weekend, you get a "new" blog. Today, you get four rewinds. Is this a great country or what?

The Addiverse is celebrating its ten year anniversary. In honor of this blessed event, I’m posting links to early blog entries which have zero views. From now until December, I’ll post links to old blog posts.  If you are so moved, please click on posted links as they appear. The Addiverse professes its love for you. Kiss kiss.
 



Monday, October 19, 2015

Ten Years of the Addiverse



The Addiverse is celebrating its ten year anniversary. In honor of this blessed event, I’m posting links to early blog entries which have zero views. C’mon, ZERO. I can’t let that happen. So, from now until December, I’ll post links to old blog posts.  If you are so moved, please click on posted links as they appear. The Addiverse professes its love for you. Kiss kiss. 

Week One of the Rewind.... THE INAUGURAL BLOG

Week One of the Rewind…."Posts with No views." So sad.

Week One of the Rewind... Key problems in the Addiverse

Week One of the Rewind... The first post about poop

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Gluten Hell

I've been writing this blog for ten years. Because it's been such a long duration, I can't remember all that I've written; so, I took a gander at my table of contents and the number of views per blog. I usually average about 40 views. Lame but great, nonetheless. I was considerably crushed to see that many blog entries, especially from the first year or two, have zero views. Zero! My poor beating heart.
I may try to resurrect some of those posts so they get at least one or two views. I may not. Only time and blogging will tell.

It's been a few weeks of trying to live "mostly" gluten free. I don't sweat the small stuff because I'm doing what I can while I learn more about the foods I should and should not eat. It's been tough. I don't know how those with Celiac's Disease do it. I have the luxury of making errors. They don't.

It's relatively expensive to eat gluten-free-vegetarian if you want to eat pre-made, packaged, oh-so-convenient foods. There are more choices than I could have imagined but you pay the price for convenience. I've quickly figured out that eating gluten-free at home is easiest if one makes an actual meal. Dang, I hate that.

I'm such the lady of convenience and chemicals. 

Thank god for corn tortillas and Quorn vegetarian fake-chicken tenders.

We went to a Packer game last weekend. In addition, I was at an out-of-town-with-no-car conference the same week. Both of these endeavors were excellent "practice fields" for living gluten-free. If I weren't a vegetarian, I would have been all right at Lambeau Field; after all, many meat products are gluten free and they have gluten free buns. Being that I am a vegetarian, I had one actual "meal" option....

....a baked potato.

I didn't want a baked potato but I was REALLY hungry and didn't want to live on popcorn, so a baked potato it was. It was a $9.00 baked potato. That's a lot of money for one spud. But, like I said, I was hungry. I probably would have paid $20 for that potato.

Have you ever tried to eat a baked potato while seated in the bleachers of a football game? I'm guessing not. It is quite the endeavor. Balancing said potato on the lap while trying to cut it with a fork (they had no knives) is entertaining, to say the least. It is tenuous in nature, teetering this way and that, the little paper "boat" not providing much leverage. The hell if I was going to drop one crumb of that $9.00 potato. I think I might have eaten some of the paper underneath the potato...that's how hard it was to cut the skin with a spoon.

I think paper is gluten-free, so what the hell. What's a little fiber?

As for the conference, I was smart and planned ahead. I wasn't driving, so I knew I wouldn't have a car to go out and buy meals (I hate not having a car, but what my boss says, I do...she drove, I rode shotgun.) I made some gluten-free-overstuffed peanut butter 'n' jelly sandwiches and stuffed them into my suitcase. I had one for each of the three days, just in case.

So, the first morning of the conference, my co-worker and I go to the conference area to score our free breakfast. I love breakfast and I never pass up the chance for free food and again, as always, I'm starving. I belly up to the breakfast line and see....gasp!

GLUTEN HELL.

I don't mean a plate or two of pastries and then some other choices...I mean ALL pastries, ALL the way down the banquet table. I've never seen some many danishes, bagels, donuts, muffins and gluten-bathed products in my life. I gasped audibly gasped and then exclaimed (much more loudly than I realized),

"Oh my god, this is gluten HELL!" 

A lady in line burst out laughing. I kid you not.

I thought that there had to be something other than these delicious, mouth-watering, begging-to-be consumed breakfast treats, so I kept moving in the line. There was one little, bitty plate of soggy fruit but that was it. I was on my own. I sighed and went back to my room, retrieving one of the PB & J sandwiches.

I am happy to report that I later got my very unanticipated revenge.

Banquet-style vegetarian lunches and dinners at conferences usually suck. When I say suck, I mean suck. I resigned myself to this fact long ago. Usually, they plop a plate of a sad pasta product with a blob of frozen veggie mix on the top in front of me. Sometimes, if I'm lucky, it's semi-real veggies, not a frozen mix. Every once in awhile I hit the jackpot and they serve some kind of rice or risotto product next to the sad pasta product (why so many carbs, I do not know).

The one thing these conference meals have in common: gluten. I don't think I've ever had a banquet style vegetarian meal that wouldn't qualify for placement in gluten hell, right next to those danishes. I was hoping I wouldn't have to eat another PB & J sandwich. I feared I would need to ration my rations.

Trust me when I say I just about licked the plate when eating my salad. One must eat what one can when the mystery meal has yet to unfold.

I watched with trepidation as the servers bustled through the tables. They meat eaters were served skinless chicken with some mystery gravy, potatoes and green beans. It didn't look great and as time passed I learned it wasn't very tasty. (Several people at my table only ate part of their chicken, noting that it was less than desirable.) Then, my plate arrived. The moment of truth swooped down upon me.....

I couldn't believe my eyes. Perched beautifully before me was a stuffed red pepper, roasted red potatoes and freshly prepared green beans. The pepper was stuffed with quinoa!

QUINOA!

I wanted to go to the kitchen and kiss the cook. This was by far the BEST conference vegetarian meal I have ever been served. EVER. Bonus that it was 100% gluten free. My peers looked at my plate in envy; in fact, one of the guys muttered how he should have ordered the vegetarian plate. I have NEVER heard anyone say that before.

Suffice it to say I ate every single morsel. I scooped up every last rolly polly of quinoa. The only downside to the meal was dessert: cake. I gave my cake to some stranger at our table. As I sat there, still in the glow of a post-fabulous meal, I looked across the table, only to see a very sad looking man. He must've realized I was wondering what was up, as he semi-smiled and me and muttered, "Nut allergy."

We were one in solidarity--those who must not eat the cake.

The rest of the trip required consumption of the PB & J and creativity when at restaurants. I ate a lot of....

...you guessed it....baked potatoes.

Life is full of gluten. Of this, I did not know. I salute those of you who must be gluten free. I am so very grateful that my food consumption is about preference, not demand, not of dire consequence. I recognize that going out to eat with friends when gluten free is much more difficult than finding vegetarian fare. I can eat just about anywhere as a vegetarian. But, that gluten-free life takes brain power and dedication. God love you, those surrounded by gluten hell....

I dedicate my next dozen baked potatoes to you. 
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Saturday, October 03, 2015

Oh my achin' glutes....

Glute....n free, that is. My butt is fine, thank you.

I saw a new doctor last week. I thought it was time to give my goiter a chance to save itself and so I sought an expert. Oh, I have an endocrinologist and that's about as specialized as you can get for a goiter. But, such a doctor looks at numbers and bases decisions on numbers. Not overall wellness. Not options. Not diet or nutrition. For intensive purposes, it's numbers and meds and biopsies and surgery.

I've put off starting medication since my Hashimoto's diagnosis in 2001. I figure as long as nothing was blowing up and I was able to function, why start medication? My primary care guy was following the numbers and the data, so I felt confident in leaving well enough alone.

Over the years, I have been told--on more than one occasion and by more than a few people--about a doctor in the area who specializes in thyroid issues. I've toyed with the idea of seeing him but never made an appointment. I don't know exactly why I finally decided to take a road trip to see him. Maybe it was because a coworker started seeing him and got rave results. Maybe it's because my endocrinologist starting talking about medication. Maybe it was the nodule on my thyroid. Maybe I just finally wised up. No matter. I made the appointment, printed out my data and jumped on in.

This guy is hilarious. I loved everything about him. He is everything I want in a doctor. Dang, I wasted all those years!

Suffice it to say he confirmed my diagnosis, fondled my goiter and came up with a game plan. He educated me on this and that, explained the how's and why's of his approach. He gave me some selenium and iodine pills, complete with detailed instructions. Ol' Doc Goiter offered me the chance to take a medication of which would need to be made at a compound pharmacy. He drew little pictures to explain the endocrine system. Doc Goiter assured me that if his suggestions didn't work, we could go the old fashioned route with some natural thyroid meds. At one point, he mentioned he thought we could reverse issues with the goiter--I had a hard time wrapping my brain around that. He said things of which I expected but he added something that I NEVER anticipated...

...specifically, I need to be gluten free.

Um, what? I have to do what?

Doc Goiter: "You need to be gluten-free or this won't work." [He stopped drawing and looked directly into my gluten-filled eyeballs, then reiterated the point.]

Me: [Look of horror on my face.]

Doc Goiter [in a most reassuring tone]: "Hey, it's not that hard--you can eat all the meat you want."

Me: "Um....I'm a vegetarian."

Doc Goiter: "Oh, that's gonna be hard."

Not one wee bit deterred, Doc Goiter turned to his computer and started a frantic google search. Within seconds, he was showing me websites featuring gluten-free vegan and vegetarian recipes and foods. He was not deterred--he was motivated. I looked down at my bottles of selenium and iodine...and, then asked the question of which I most feared.....

Me: Is chocolate gluten-free?

Moment of truth. This is where everything hinges.

Doc Goiter: "Yes! Most chocolate is gluten free. Just read the label."

Me: [Giant sigh of relief. I think I might have shed a tear.] "Well, then I can do this.

Doc Goiter: [with conviction] "You MUST eat gluten-free."

Me: [thinking to self--What about ice cream and cereal? I can't live without ice cream and serial] [meekly] "Okay."

Doc Goiter: "Well, you can have cheat days."

I decide right then and there that cheat days will be saved for days I go to someone's house for dinner or on trips with friends. We have amazing friends who already are super-conscious of my vegetarianism. I'm not going to ask them to think about gluten-free vegetarianism. I am not gluten intolerant, like someone who has Celiac's Disease. I can eat gluten--I'm gluten sensitive and it's best I avoid it. A home-made pizza or freshly made sandwich on gluten-tainted bread is a small price to pay for the thoughtfulness of my friends and family. I will not say no to their generosity, thoughtfulness and hospitality.

They not need be the wiser. Don't ask, don't tell. Bring on the gluten, friends. I honor you.

This whole gluten thing has given me pause. Huh. Yes, I know that Hashimoto's is an autoimmune issue.  But, I never, ever considered that gluten might play a part in an autoimmune disease. Heck, I don't even know what gluten is or isn't. No medical doctor ever talked about diet (well, besides eating more table salt with iodine) as being a potential harm or help to my thyroid. No medical doctor suggested that gluten might be an issue in the health of my goiterous gland. Big points for this guy. I decide right then and there to go gluten-free to the best of my ability.

(That's why they invented Pinterest: so I can find gluten-free recipes and information. I'm ready!)

During the drive home, I get word that my niece has been diagnosed with Celiac's Disease...which means she will be living in a gluten-free world....which also means she has an autoimmune disease. Interesting. Sad for her but excited for me (gluten-free partner in crime!), I contemplate our Christmas dinner this year.

This whole food thing prompted me to do some Googling of my own, mostly because I have no idea what gluten-free food is or isn't. I learn all sorts of tidbits, including how Hashimotos and Celiac stuff seems quite related in an autoimmune kind of way. Sisters in no-gluten, here we come.Armed with knowledge, I hopped in the car and headed to the grocery store of which I know has two aisles of gluten-free products....

Oh my, there's gluten-free everything! 

I'm happy to report that many of my favorite cereals are (and have been) gluten free. All the chocolate I have been shoveling in my face is good to go. Ice cream remains on my list of things to eat (hey, I'm a vegetarian, not a vegan--I can't live without ice cream--ice cream is the main reason I don't even try to be a vegan--well, that and my Doc Martin shoes). The blue chips I already eat are gluten free. The only food choices I really have to face are (1) bread products; and, (2) all those frozen veggie patties I eat. The bread, I can deal with. Dang, those veggie patties of various flavors all have gluten. I have a freezer full of gluten-ous veggie patties with nowhere to go. I need the modern convenience afforded by these chemically laden patties....

I am happy to report that gluten-free veggie patties do exist. All is well in the world.

Today, I start my iodine and next Saturday, I'll start my experiment with low dose natroxlone (or however you spell it). That's the bonus round. I don't have to try this but I'm going to--I've got nothing to lose except for thyroid issues. I'll be eating gluten-free whenever possible and sharing food ideas with my niece. I'll tell her when I find something really tasty or really NOT tasty. We will serve a gluten-free Christmas meal. (Note to family: Good or bad, not much will change with our traditional meal...we'll add some gluten-free bread and some gluten-free dessert products. Our meal is already relatively gluten-free.  Who knew? We're trend-setters.)

As for the veggie burgers, I'm going to hand them out to trick or treaters. I'm not sure if that's a trick or a treat but I am sure that'll get the house egged.

Eggs are gluten-free, so we're ready.
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