I hope you don't mind that I'm writing about the dogs again. It's always about the dogs. I can't help it they consume 95% of my attention when I'm at home; thus, they hog just about that much in the blog. (The other 5% of my attention while I'm at home goes directly to the wife. That's up from 3% last week.)
The wife and I decided that the dogs should start pulling their own weight around here. They are SO spoiled and don't have to do anything but eat, walk, poop and sleep. So, we thought we'd assign some chores and let them earn an allowance. They don't seem able to pick up their own poop and we don't want them to start eating it like some dogs, so we thought we'd try some indoor chores.
Our first effort was to have them do their own laundry. But, they started fighting over the stuffed hedge hog and didn't get any laundry done--just a lot of fighting and chasing and glaring and growling and pouting. I was unable to convince them that laundry was more important than a stuffed animal. They were having none of that. I hid the hedge hogs.....
The second thing they did was hop into the laundry basket. I'm not sure if this was in an effort to keep the laundry at bay or because they thought this was new bedding. A comfortable crate.
It's hard to do laundry when dogs are laying atop of it. I think they might be genius. They staged a strike: no hedge hogs, no laundry. They drive a tough bargin.
The third thing that happened? Freckles hopped out of the basket, laid down under the table and commenced with the strike. She had Lucy making picket signs.
Since the laundry thing didn't go so well, we thought we'd try teaching them how to put away their toys after playing with them. Unfortunately, Lucy didn't quite understand the game and kept taking toys OUT of the basket instead of putting them in. (Yes, those are the two hedge hogs. Are you as sick of the hedge hogs as we are? Why won't they share the hedge hogs? Whey must they fight over one?) Lucy truly thought she was helping by taking them out of the basket. I think I reinforced the wrong behavior. Dang, I hate when that happens. She did a REALLY good job of removing each and every toy, saving her favorite lamb for last.
For the record, we gave up and let the dogs go back to the life of luxury to which they are accostumed. I guess you really can't teach old dogs new tricks.
In the pooping department, here is a REAL LIFE photo from where I work. I swear to this. This is not my poop. This is a mystery poop. I went to the bathroom to do my duty, only to find that someone had left me a present.
I love a present as much as the next person but this isn't exactly what I was hoping for....although, poop is right up my alley.
Okay, so it's weird to take photo of someone's poop in the work bathroom. But, that's why the invented camera phones, right? How can the Addiverse not take a photo of marbles? It is impossible.
(Note from the Addiverse: If you are going to take your cell phone into the bathroom, for whatever reason, take care not to drop your phone into the toilet. It happens all the time. It's bad enough to drop your phone on the floor, but to drop it into the toilet takes it to a whole new level of bad. If the toilet has been put to use, that's even worse. No one wants a peed or pooped phone. Not that I would personally know any of this.....)
My words of wisdom to you, forgetting-to-fully-flush, co-worker? Always look before you leave the bathroom. Those little guys don't always make it down the hatch the first time around. The littlier the marble, the higher the chance they don't make it the first flush. Sometimes, the big guys don't make it the first time, either...so, LOOK. Take a look before you walk out the door.
My second batch of wisdom to you, oh great pooper of marbles? Eat more fiber and drink more water. Marble poop suggests you are not caring for yourself. Those machine gun pellets are fit for a rabbit, not a human. Diet Coke and Hershey bars are not conducive to healthy pooping.
As for your poop, I can't decide if it looks more like Mr. Bill saying "Oooooh Nooooooo!" or more like a scared toilet. It also looks like a singing toilet bowl. I know not but I do know whoever isn't flushing the toilet after pooping is going to have A LOT more photos taken.
Those new cell phone cameras really do come in handy at times. I know, I know--it's sophomoric--but, it makes us laugh during stressful times. Two lonely, lost marbles waiting for their photo op, looking just like Mr. Bill.
You can't have a bad day when you see something like this.....or, when you have a camera phone. Whoever invented those is a complete genius. I see great things for this invention.
As long as the camera phone doesn't go for a bathroom swim....two hands on the phone in the bathroom, pooping people!
I love a present as much as the next person but this isn't exactly what I was hoping for....although, poop is right up my alley.
Okay, so it's weird to take photo of someone's poop in the work bathroom. But, that's why the invented camera phones, right? How can the Addiverse not take a photo of marbles? It is impossible.
(Note from the Addiverse: If you are going to take your cell phone into the bathroom, for whatever reason, take care not to drop your phone into the toilet. It happens all the time. It's bad enough to drop your phone on the floor, but to drop it into the toilet takes it to a whole new level of bad. If the toilet has been put to use, that's even worse. No one wants a peed or pooped phone. Not that I would personally know any of this.....)
My words of wisdom to you, forgetting-to-fully-flush, co-worker? Always look before you leave the bathroom. Those little guys don't always make it down the hatch the first time around. The littlier the marble, the higher the chance they don't make it the first flush. Sometimes, the big guys don't make it the first time, either...so, LOOK. Take a look before you walk out the door.
My second batch of wisdom to you, oh great pooper of marbles? Eat more fiber and drink more water. Marble poop suggests you are not caring for yourself. Those machine gun pellets are fit for a rabbit, not a human. Diet Coke and Hershey bars are not conducive to healthy pooping.
As for your poop, I can't decide if it looks more like Mr. Bill saying "Oooooh Nooooooo!" or more like a scared toilet. It also looks like a singing toilet bowl. I know not but I do know whoever isn't flushing the toilet after pooping is going to have A LOT more photos taken.
Those new cell phone cameras really do come in handy at times. I know, I know--it's sophomoric--but, it makes us laugh during stressful times. Two lonely, lost marbles waiting for their photo op, looking just like Mr. Bill.
You can't have a bad day when you see something like this.....or, when you have a camera phone. Whoever invented those is a complete genius. I see great things for this invention.
As long as the camera phone doesn't go for a bathroom swim....two hands on the phone in the bathroom, pooping people!
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