Oh my achin' glutes....

Glute....n free, that is. My butt is fine, thank you.

I saw a new doctor last week. I thought it was time to give my goiter a chance to save itself and so I sought an expert. Oh, I have an endocrinologist and that's about as specialized as you can get for a goiter. But, such a doctor looks at numbers and bases decisions on numbers. Not overall wellness. Not options. Not diet or nutrition. For intensive purposes, it's numbers and meds and biopsies and surgery.

I've put off starting medication since my Hashimoto's diagnosis in 2001. I figure as long as nothing was blowing up and I was able to function, why start medication? My primary care guy was following the numbers and the data, so I felt confident in leaving well enough alone.

Over the years, I have been told--on more than one occasion and by more than a few people--about a doctor in the area who specializes in thyroid issues. I've toyed with the idea of seeing him but never made an appointment. I don't know exactly why I finally decided to take a road trip to see him. Maybe it was because a coworker started seeing him and got rave results. Maybe it's because my endocrinologist starting talking about medication. Maybe it was the nodule on my thyroid. Maybe I just finally wised up. No matter. I made the appointment, printed out my data and jumped on in.

This guy is hilarious. I loved everything about him. He is everything I want in a doctor. Dang, I wasted all those years!

Suffice it to say he confirmed my diagnosis, fondled my goiter and came up with a game plan. He educated me on this and that, explained the how's and why's of his approach. He gave me some selenium and iodine pills, complete with detailed instructions. Ol' Doc Goiter offered me the chance to take a medication of which would need to be made at a compound pharmacy. He drew little pictures to explain the endocrine system. Doc Goiter assured me that if his suggestions didn't work, we could go the old fashioned route with some natural thyroid meds. At one point, he mentioned he thought we could reverse issues with the goiter--I had a hard time wrapping my brain around that. He said things of which I expected but he added something that I NEVER anticipated...

...specifically, I need to be gluten free.

Um, what? I have to do what?

Doc Goiter: "You need to be gluten-free or this won't work." [He stopped drawing and looked directly into my gluten-filled eyeballs, then reiterated the point.]

Me: [Look of horror on my face.]

Doc Goiter [in a most reassuring tone]: "Hey, it's not that hard--you can eat all the meat you want."

Me: "Um....I'm a vegetarian."

Doc Goiter: "Oh, that's gonna be hard."

Not one wee bit deterred, Doc Goiter turned to his computer and started a frantic google search. Within seconds, he was showing me websites featuring gluten-free vegan and vegetarian recipes and foods. He was not deterred--he was motivated. I looked down at my bottles of selenium and iodine...and, then asked the question of which I most feared.....

Me: Is chocolate gluten-free?

Moment of truth. This is where everything hinges.

Doc Goiter: "Yes! Most chocolate is gluten free. Just read the label."

Me: [Giant sigh of relief. I think I might have shed a tear.] "Well, then I can do this.

Doc Goiter: [with conviction] "You MUST eat gluten-free."

Me: [thinking to self--What about ice cream and cereal? I can't live without ice cream and serial] [meekly] "Okay."

Doc Goiter: "Well, you can have cheat days."

I decide right then and there that cheat days will be saved for days I go to someone's house for dinner or on trips with friends. We have amazing friends who already are super-conscious of my vegetarianism. I'm not going to ask them to think about gluten-free vegetarianism. I am not gluten intolerant, like someone who has Celiac's Disease. I can eat gluten--I'm gluten sensitive and it's best I avoid it. A home-made pizza or freshly made sandwich on gluten-tainted bread is a small price to pay for the thoughtfulness of my friends and family. I will not say no to their generosity, thoughtfulness and hospitality.

They not need be the wiser. Don't ask, don't tell. Bring on the gluten, friends. I honor you.

This whole gluten thing has given me pause. Huh. Yes, I know that Hashimoto's is an autoimmune issue.  But, I never, ever considered that gluten might play a part in an autoimmune disease. Heck, I don't even know what gluten is or isn't. No medical doctor ever talked about diet (well, besides eating more table salt with iodine) as being a potential harm or help to my thyroid. No medical doctor suggested that gluten might be an issue in the health of my goiterous gland. Big points for this guy. I decide right then and there to go gluten-free to the best of my ability.

(That's why they invented Pinterest: so I can find gluten-free recipes and information. I'm ready!)

During the drive home, I get word that my niece has been diagnosed with Celiac's Disease...which means she will be living in a gluten-free world....which also means she has an autoimmune disease. Interesting. Sad for her but excited for me (gluten-free partner in crime!), I contemplate our Christmas dinner this year.

This whole food thing prompted me to do some Googling of my own, mostly because I have no idea what gluten-free food is or isn't. I learn all sorts of tidbits, including how Hashimotos and Celiac stuff seems quite related in an autoimmune kind of way. Sisters in no-gluten, here we come.Armed with knowledge, I hopped in the car and headed to the grocery store of which I know has two aisles of gluten-free products....

Oh my, there's gluten-free everything! 

I'm happy to report that many of my favorite cereals are (and have been) gluten free. All the chocolate I have been shoveling in my face is good to go. Ice cream remains on my list of things to eat (hey, I'm a vegetarian, not a vegan--I can't live without ice cream--ice cream is the main reason I don't even try to be a vegan--well, that and my Doc Martin shoes). The blue chips I already eat are gluten free. The only food choices I really have to face are (1) bread products; and, (2) all those frozen veggie patties I eat. The bread, I can deal with. Dang, those veggie patties of various flavors all have gluten. I have a freezer full of gluten-ous veggie patties with nowhere to go. I need the modern convenience afforded by these chemically laden patties....

I am happy to report that gluten-free veggie patties do exist. All is well in the world.

Today, I start my iodine and next Saturday, I'll start my experiment with low dose natroxlone (or however you spell it). That's the bonus round. I don't have to try this but I'm going to--I've got nothing to lose except for thyroid issues. I'll be eating gluten-free whenever possible and sharing food ideas with my niece. I'll tell her when I find something really tasty or really NOT tasty. We will serve a gluten-free Christmas meal. (Note to family: Good or bad, not much will change with our traditional meal...we'll add some gluten-free bread and some gluten-free dessert products. Our meal is already relatively gluten-free.  Who knew? We're trend-setters.)

As for the veggie burgers, I'm going to hand them out to trick or treaters. I'm not sure if that's a trick or a treat but I am sure that'll get the house egged.

Eggs are gluten-free, so we're ready.
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