The Wife is... Unemployed?

The Wife is... Unemployed?

No. No, she is not.

Well, not that we know of. The wife continues her full-time employment, as always. 

So, why she received a pre-paid debit card in honor of her unknown unemployment status is a mystery to us. It's also news to her employer, who sent a most-serious-toned email indicating that her unemployment claim was denied. 

Yes, the debit card is real. Yes, someone submitted a claim that she is unemployed. Yes, she is employed. What kind of shenanigans are in action? What kind of scam is this? After all, there must be something in it for the person who submitted the claim. But, what?

A quick Google search suggests the wife is NOT the only person facing this weirdness. The loud message? Freeze your credit and contact IDES, who will not answer the phone, so call the non-emergency police line. After that, check your credit stuff because someone may have opened a bank account in your name.

Sounds like a pain in the ass to me. 

The wife had fraud issues before. I keep telling her to make her passwords more complicated but it appears more sinister... although, she really should change her passwords. 

Thankfully, my antics have been a lot more fun than hers. I was bestowed my gold crown 11 days early! I was so excited that I literally left work immediately and filled out a time off request while on my way. It is BEAUTIFUL, better than I imagined. I have tried many a time to take a tooth selfie but have been unsuccessful in getting anything worthy of posting.

The dentist, I am sure, was concerned for my mental health, as I was so giddy upon arrival that he probably thought I was sucking nitrous oxide out of whipped cream cans in the parking lot. 

I have to say, it did cause me some pain, as for some reason that tooth has become sensitive. I have never experienced pain while having dental procedures, as I believe in Novocain when offered. I did mention, a bit more loudly than I anticipated, that it hurt. I've never said those words in a dental office before, so it scared even me. It gave the dentist pause. He stopped working and looked as if he didn't know what to do. 

So, I told him what to do. "Don't stop now. Keep going!" For Pete's sake, I've waiting eons for a gold crown. Even he admitted it was beautiful. 

I'm sad that we are wearing masks now, because this means I can't show people my beautiful new tooth. Well, not without removing my mask and that is currently frowned upon. 

I'll keep trying to get a good photo of my most recent purchase of golden delight. I might have to move to the front of COVID vaccination line, so I can show my crown off sooner than not. Most people want the vaccine so they don't get the disease. I want it so I can show off my crown. 

Sounds about right.

Today, I shall spend the day trying to help the wife figure out her woes of fraudulence. I will, most assuredly, ask her several times to look at my gold crown. She will, most assuredly, roll her eyes and pretend to comply. 

Next week: Round Two of tattoo removal, with photos sure to follow. My life is bursting with excitement--I mean, a gold crown, less ink, strong passwords and full-time employment... ho friggin' ho ho! 

Ho friggin' ho ho ho... Off to get a vaccine I go. 

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