What in tarnation happened to my
most recent post?
I get the blog emailed to me the
day after I post it so I can review it with a bit of reflective distance (read:
look for glaring errors, found easily after the fact). Imagine my surprise when
my most recent post was… well… half.
Maybe even less than half. I
have no idea what I did but only a partial product was presented. Not only did
that make the blog really short, it left it making less sense than usual and definitely
not up to par. Embarrassing for sure. Worse-worse, it was a really bad blog.
It was user error, to be clear.
No need to blame technology when it is not the cause. Call it a PEBKAC error
(problem exists between keyboard and chair). I’m re-writing the entire blog and
re-posting it, so if some of it seems familiar, that’s good. Thanks for indulging
me with the opportunity to fix what certainly needed fixin.’
Please note: I am not
specifically writing about the protests in this post because I will not be able
to do justice to the effort being put forth by those of color. I would
sound like a white woman trying to sound “woke” or cool or whatnot. Know that I
am 100% in support the protests and 100% in support Black Lives Matter.
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As most of you know, everything
in the world has been about The 'Rona, that bitch.
News? Social Media? Work
meetings? News
outlets? Friends? Politics? Rona, Rona, Rona.
Sigh... Seriously,
Rona, does anyone need news story about Mask-wearing? Mask making?
Mask-shaming? Mask protests? Mask conflicting reports? Mask lawsuits? Mask
sheeple? No, Rona. No, Rona--we don’t. You need to go away. More health,
less Rona. Hit the road, bitch.
I am semi-quarantining after
spending several weeks in a corona cesspool. Maybe it just seems that everything
is about the ‘Rona. I have ‘Rona on My Mind. (THAT would be a GREAT country
song.) I’ll be able to return to the office next week, but for now I am doing
the ‘Rona semi-quarantine.
No, I don’t have the ‘Rona. No,
I haven’t had the ‘Rona. No, those are allergies, not the ‘Rona.
Last week, the wife went to the
Cheddarlands to buy a car. (FTR, she doesn't have the 'Rona, either.) As she's from Illinois, she was wearing a
mask when in public. Illinois people are still mask-abiding citizens. NO ONE,
not one Cheddarhead, had a mask on. Wisconsin is on its own mission--they don't
need no stinkin' masks. No masks in public, no masks on her family, no masks
anywhere. I'm sorry to report she was mask-shamed by her own people. (She
was also shamed for being from Illinois, but that's expected.) I give her
big praise for wearing a mask. After all, she’s lives with the AddiCesspool. They
should be thanking her for being so thoughtful.
At least she got a great deal on
a new car while wearing her Illinois-tainted mask.
So, I’ve been at home, watching
Letterkenny and muttering about the ‘Rona…Rona, Rona, Rona...
Two words: George Floyd.
Rona disappeared from the earth
in one millisecond--most understandably IMHO so. Dear Baby Jesus, this
is not exactly what I was thinking when I was concerned about blog topics.
I honestly have SO much to say that
I don't even know where to begin. I get so fired up. I need a little to do a
little stretching and thinking before I start. Like I said, I won’t be
commenting directly on the protests besides to say I stand in solidarity. I’m
sticking with the ridiculous Cheeto photo-op.
******************************************************
Me: WTF, Jesus?
Jesus: What?
Me: A Bible!
Jesus: Top Ten on the New York Bestseller List. What about it?
Me: A prop…
Jesus: ….and?
Me: You’re all good with this?
Jesus: What?
Me: A Bible!
Jesus: Shrugs.
Me: The Cheeto used it as a prop!
Jesus: …and?
Me: (confused)
Jesus:
Shrugs.
Me: This doesn’t piss you off? I mean, the
Cheeto ordered the sidewalks cleansed—you know, cleared of peaceful protestors by
law enforcement, using hateful means—so he could have a photo op with a Bible.
Jesus: You’re not surprised, are you?
Me: WTF, Jesus?
Jesus: I’m rather entertained.
Me: A Bible!
Jesus: Shrugs.
Me: He could’ve said something. Anything.
Jesus: ….and?
Me: It would've been so easy to just say,
"Jesus wept." It is the shortest verse in the Bible! It's
two words--one can easily remember two words without a teleprompter. You don't
even have to open the Bible to say those two words. The context of the verse in
the Bible doesn't even matter when doing a photo-op--it's an actual Bible verse
that sounds applicable and is two words and is easy to remember.
Jesus: ….and?
Me: One. Verse. Two. Words! That
photo op is an insult to the American people.
Jesus: I don’t think opening the Bible would’ve helped.
Me: Uh. What?
Jesus: Two words. One verse. Now it’s a joke of a joke. Who am
I weeping for?
Me: George Floyd. The protesters. The hate.
The killing. The…
Jesus: Naw. He’d say I was weeping for him.
Me: Silence.
Jesus: Right? You know I’m right.
Me: But, Jesus wept because--
Jesus: --for him. Oh, how awful the people are
being to him. Oh, how unfair the fake news is to him. Oh, how God is on his
side, the right side, the rich white side. Just ask my evangelical pack.
(Coughs.)
Me: (look at ground).
Jesus: To say any more about the Cheeto’s photo op is an
insult to the memory of George Floyd, to the peaceful protesters, to those
working for lasting change, to those who have endured, to those other than
white.
Me: Silence.
Jesus: One verse, two words. A Bible. A true shit show, don’t
you think? (Laughs)
Me: But…
Jesus: You want two words? Try George Floyd.
Me: George Floyd.Jesus: George Floyd.
Me: George Floyd.
Jesus: (looks around) Hell, I’m glad he didn’t open
his mouth. Don’t you have a chipmunk problem?
Me: (confused) Yes. Yes, we’ve got quite
the chipmunk problem…
Jesus: I’d be a lot more concerned about that than about numb-nuts
prancing around with a Bible.
Me: (embarrassed) They are a problem…
Jesus: Go protest. Stand firm in your conviction. Don’t worry
about the Bible. Hell, it was free advertisement. Go find someone who can catch
and release those varmints.
Me: (feeling a bit feisty) Can I hit them
with the Bible?
Jesus: (Gets a good guffaw out of that.) Worry about your dog
running away.
Me: Ew. You saw that.
Jesus: Worry about the raccoon hanging off your siding.
Me: Too big to hit with a Bible.
Jesus: (Bigger guffaw.)
Me: One verse. Two words.
Jesus: (Sighs) …no need to make the photo op even more ridiculous.
Save the words for those who mean them, grasp them, live them.
Me: Well, we do have a chipmunk problem in
the Addiverse. Bandido ran away yesterday—it was my fault. We did have a
raccoon hanging off our siding. The wife's new car is a kick-ass story in
itself. The ‘Rona really hasn’t gone away.
Jesus: (Slight smile)
Me: One verse, two words—for the world. Not
for use by the Cheeto.
Jesus: (Shrugs) Wear a mask.
Me: Wear a mask.
Jesus: Two words: George Floyd
Me: George Floyd.Jesus: Share your love. Show more action. Don’t hit the raccoon with the Bible. Wear a mask.
Me: Even in Wisconsin?
Jesus: Even in Wisconsin.
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