Jack of all trades; Master of None

Greetings from your blurry-eyed mistress of the Addiverse.

I'm seeking your help. I have a new job at work but don't have a title. I'm supposed to develop a job description and a title.... but, I'm not sure what I actually do nor do I know what I might actually call myself. At this point, I do a whole lot of everything but not a whole lot of the same thing.

Here's the problem with developing a job description. By trade and by license, I'm a counselor and art therapist. By title, I am currently listed as the Agency Training Coordinator. But, they've moved me out of training so I can do a whole bunch of other necessary things. During last week's employment efforts, I:

• painted on stones (yes, you read that correctly), 
• worked on developing and implementing electronic forms, 
• posted on social media (for the company, sillies), 
• answered questions about policy and procedures, 
• updated said policy and procedure after realizing the answers I provided didn't match the outdated P&P,
• provided training to staff, 
• provided counseling to clients,
• helped organize silent auction items for fundraising committee,
• fixed agency computers (usually required me to plug in, reboot or turn on computers),
• sent out emails on how to plug in, reboot or turn on computers,
• replaced Ethernet cables,
• set up new staff computer access,
• worked with local company about updating our computer network (lots of running around and searching through databases for answers),
• provided peer support to a staff who was struggling with work issues,
• answered training questions (for the new trainer, who is not called the trainer)
• made web-based forms,
• updated the website,
• hid stones around town (again, yes that's right),
• took photos of staff and posted to the electronic health record,
• set up new cell phones for staff, 
• updated every password on the planet, and...
• moved office furniture.

That's just last week. How on Earth do I come up with a job title for THAT? 

I'm a jack of all trades, master of none.

In an effort to entertain myself, I've changed my email signature to "Swiss Army Knife."

You know what's good about a regular-sized Swiss Army Knife? It's good for a lot of things. A lot of different things. It's good, but not great. It does the job, but only so much. It's really, really handy but it's not a toolbox. 

I don't know about you but I love those little knives. I mean, who doesn't need a plastic toothpick, bottle opener, nail file or little screwdriver on occasion? 

The Swiss Army Knife is basically a fun little tool that lets you do a lot of things but only in a half-ass manner. You're not going to build a house with that diddy but you can fix things for the time being in said house. The knife isn't focused on being one thing. People like the knife and use the knife and find it convenient, easy to use and handy enough until the big guns show up to do the job fully and properly. Yup. I am a Swiss Army Knife. I can do four bazillion different things at the same time but I can only do them in a rather half-ass manner. This living and breathing Swiss Army Knife is not a master of anything. 

(My suggestion of "Swiss Army Knife" as my official job description didn't go over well. Thank you, next. At least no one has complained about my email signature.)

I'm sure you're thinking, "why don't you ask what you're supposed to be doing?" Well, duh! I have asked. The powers that be have pondered aloud on many occasion about this. It always comes back to "we'll figure it out later--this is what I need you to do now."

In some ways, this is the best job on the planet. I love variety. I love employing my various skills. I love change. I never have a dull moment at work. I've got amazing job security. But, I really, really don't like doing everything in a half-ass manner. I want to be great, not good, at something. 

Suggestions for a job title are welcome. Googling hasn't helped me very much in the job title department--maybe you'll come up with something....

• Assume that I'll be doing a lot of electronic stuff like keeping up with website and social media work content. 
• Assume that I'll be using a lot of my creativity. 
• Assume that I am not going to be doing one particular thing. 
• Assume that I'll be wearing gym shoes. 
• Assume I will be blurry eyed and need a nap after work.

Don't let me down, fans of the Addiverse. I know the answer is out there. Until then, I'm going to eat a LOT of ice cream and keep plugging along. I'm gonna put my Large Blade, Small Blade, Can Opener, Bottle Opener, Wire Stripper, Scissors, Wire Cutter, Wood Saw, Fish Scaler, Ruler, Nail File, Magnifying Glass, Phillips Screwdriver, Corkscrew, Wood Chisel, Ball Point Pen, Toothpick and tweezers self to work, day in and day out.  

I have lots of koalafications. Now, only if I could tame and name them...