And, the job title winner is.....

It has been decided.

I received many excellent suggestions for job titles, as requested in the previous blog. I am going with Spotted Owl's suggestion of "Sonic Screwdriver."

Why? Because a sonic screwdriver does a LOT of things. Basically, it's a multi-functional swiss army knife of alien status.

Where will you find a sonic screwdriver in use? Duh. In use by Doctor Who.



This meme sums it up nicely: from egg scrambler to dog whistle, the sonic screwdriver is versatile, compact, powerful, but not useful for everything.It makes great whirrrrrling sounds, lights up and isn't a weapon. The Doctor never carries a weapon.

According to a very reliable source (which should never be used when writing a research paper and starts with the letter W), the sonic screwdriver can do a whole lot of things, including but not limited to:

Unlock/lock a door; Burn/cut certain substances; Remotely detonate specific machines or explosives; Amplify sound-waves and the power of an X-ray machine beyond its normal capacities; Disarm weapons and electronics; Flashlight; Intercept and conduct teleportation; Hack an ATM; Regenerating razor wire on a fence; Darken eyeglass lenses to transform them into sunglasses; Microphone (when connected to an audio amplifier);Detect and interpret signals; Conducting medical scans; Locking the coordinates of the TARDIS; Tracking alien life; Using red setting or dampers; Control the properties of atoms and molecules on a small scale; Operate computers, whether their origin is alien or human; Provide Geo-location; Light candles; Creating a force field wave with two other sonic to physically repel a Dalek; Modification of a mobile phone; Disclosure and deactivating camouflage; Disarm Robotics; Scan and classify matter; Shatter glass; Create an "acoustic corridor" for speaking with someone far away; Shocking neural centers of a living creature; Tighten and loosen screws; Download a person's consciousness and transfer it into a computer hard drive (only a special model created by The Doctor as a gift to River Song); and, trigger particular protocols of the TARDIS.

If you read all that, you are as big a nerd as I am.

What it cannot do: Wood.

My advice is:
If you need a screwdriver, go get a screwdriver.

If you need a flashlight, go get a flashlight.

If you need a microphone, go get a microphone.

If you need something small enough to carry in your pocket and you anticipate running in to aliens today, get a sonic screwdriver. Good for a lot of things, as long as it's not wood.

I can't wait to tell the HR lady what I've decided.