Mastering the Password

Over the past few years in the Addiverse, most free time wasted was on social media. You could find me on the couch scrolling through the news feed, enjoying everyone's photos (dogs, food, babies), political ranting, humorous memes, humorous banter.

That is... until recently.

This week in the Addiverse--and, I mean the ENTIRE week--was spent trying to remember my master password, swearing about my master password, getting locked out of accounts due to inability to remember master password, trying to change my master password, dreaming about what the master password might be (I'm not kidding) and giving up on my master password.

The wife can attest to the hours and brain cells lost due to my password-o-mania. She was not one bit entertained. She actually stopped asked me what I was doing because she knew: I was in password hell.

The whole nonsense started because of a need for increased internet safety. Suffice it to say I had reason to be concerned and thus thought beefing up my passwords, changing some user names, and getting a master password to protect all my passwords would be a great idea. I've always been good about keeping various renditions of passwords and user names, and I've kept a detailed spreadsheet (password protected) with all my accounts. I have a method to my madness but I'm sure someone who thought about it could eventually figure it out. I have several different user names tied to various categories. I have at least 75 different password combinations.... but, due to safety concerns, I thought it prudent to take my game up a notch.

After much research, I decided to go with an app which keeps all your passwords in one place and is under the control of your master password. It also generates complicated passwords for websites visited, if you so desire. With a quick download, I was ready to enter all my passwords, make a memorable but complicated master password and be on my way to internet safety. I understood and took quite seriously the importance of remembering the master password, for without it, it was too bad, so sad--you can't get it back. The company can't help you, your friends and relatives can't help you, you can't pay someone to help you find it.

I should have stuck to my 75 variations-on-a theme-kept-on-a-spreadsheet password approach. Not only was that easier than the new passwords I had created, I didn't have to worry about losing them in one fell swoop.

Yes, you are correct in your assumption that I lost my master password.

Well, I didn't exactly lose it. I just couldn't remember the password combination of letters, symbols and words. I had the correct letters, symbols and words... but, because I had changed it up so many times, I couldn't remember what rendition I had finally ended with in regards to said letters, symbols and words.

That's where the hours (days) of free time was consumed.... figuring out the master password. I'd spend hours trying different combinations, eventually getting locked out of the master account. I'd have to wait for the lock out time and then start again. I fretted about things like, "should I update my spreadsheet or should I focus on the password?" 

I would guess that for the last week, I spent at least three hours an evening working on passwords. I also spent time before work on this mission. First, it was entering all the user names and passwords. Then, it was not being able to access them. Hour after hour after hour. Scowling, swearing, fretting, wondering, digging through stickies and papers, hoping and meditating.

Thankfully, the app is on my iPhone and I had set it up for touch access. So, as long as I didn't lose my finger prints, I could access the passwords. But, that's a tentative thing--not that I'm going to lose my finger prints, but I could lose the phone and that would be the end of that.

After a week, I waved the white flag. It was time to create a different master password account, actually remember the master password, enter one by one all the accounts and passwords into the new master password account and then delete the original master password account. And so, this is what I've been doing over the past 24 hours. I'm about 15 accounts entered right now and will be doing more later today. I made the master password different than all my other passwords and actually wrote it down.

You know what happened, right?

Yes, I suddenly and spontaneously remembered the original account's master password. FML.

I was at a crossroads. Would it be better to keep the original account or keep the new account? I quickly changed the original account's master password to match the new account's master password.

Or, so I thought.

In my glory, I messed up my new password when entering it (yes, twice) and once again locked myself out of the account. I can't make this crap up. Back to trying various combinations of letters, words and symbols.

The touch access still works, so I still have that going for me.

Thus, today I will be back to entering passwords into the new account with the master password of which I am sure.

Well, I think I'm sure. I haven't tried signing in this morning. Actually, I'm kind of afraid to try and sign in. I'm not telling the wife if I can't get in as she is sick of my password nonsense. I have the master password written down on the back of an envelope...

.... the envelope that is somewhere .... hopefully not in the recycling bin or my car or on my desk at work....

From here on out, I'm staying old school. Color-coded spread sheet with variations on a theme. Less time on passwords, more time on social media. Who had time for technology when technology is against your every move? Passwords on envelopes. That's what it's all about.

If only I could find that envelope.... I hope I didn't write it on the back of an envelope I mailed to someone.....