Let me put this in perspective for you: I forgot to do my football picks because I was so distracted by the wife being gone and having to do these wifely duties.THAT'S a problem.
I've always wondered why the wife keeps written list upon list. Her teeny, tiny writing keeping track of her duties and actions. I scoff at lists. I mean, if I can't remember what I'm supposed to do, I should be ashamed of myself.
Color me ashamed.
There is a lot to remember when dogs are involved and more than one form of employment is in progress. I could fake it when it was just me and me and one job. But, I've found myself backtracking more times than not, remembering things after I should have done them (aka the football pool) and...
...wishing I had a list.
So, I made a list. I own my judgmental ways regarding lists. I should probably have a "get your head out of your ass" list, but I mainly have work lists because I figure that includes the things I should not forget. A dog list is easy because I do a lot of these things already, so it's in my head, not in writing. I should probably put it in writing so I don't forget to fluff their beds.
Walk the dogs. Change the water bowls. Feed the dogs. Clean the dog dishes. Fluff the dog beds (two). Check the water bowls. Put away all the toys. Walk the dogs. Feed the dogs. Clean the dog dishes. Fluff the couch cushions (of which dogs perch). Give a kong. Clean the kongs. Did I change the water? I don't remember. Change the water bowl. Walk the dogs. Repeat.
Not so bad. I know. Rather pathetic. I own it. A list in my head counts almost as much as a list in writing in the Addiverse.
I can never decide if it's worth putting everything away as I use it/do it or just leave it because I can and I'm just going to use it again, anyway. For instance, the dog leashes. When the wife is home, the leashes get hung up after every walk. When she's not home, I ask myself: why would I put the dog leashes away when I am going to use them three times a day minimum? Or, there's the dog walking clothes, currently plopped on the living room chair. Do I bother to put away the dog walking clothes I wear every morning or do I just leave them on the chair? And, what about the bed? I'm going to get back in it in 14 hours, so why make it? Do I worry about putting clean clothes away immediately upon completion of drying or is okay to leave them on the bed until I wear them again (of which I am going to do)?
Take a guess what I do. Go ahead--I'll wait.
Correct. I don't make the bed; I smooth it out in preparation for the next night's sleep. I haven't put the dog leashes away but I do keep them by the door so it's almost like I put them away. My walking clothes are on the chair. And, my clean underwear is on the bed.
I know the wife worries about me forgetting the "big" stuff (read: big stuff in her world/doesn't exist in my world). Garbage Day happened while she was gone. That's a big stuff list. So, I sent her an email assuring her, and I quote:
Yes, I remember it is garbage day.
Yes, I recycled my cereal boxes.
Yes, I know I don't have to take out the recycling bin but I am going to because we have enough.
Yes, I will remove my car from the garage before moving the bin.
Yes, I remembered to include the poop with the garbage.
No, nothing exciting in the mail.
No, I didn't return the sweaters. I'll wait for you to return.
Yes, the avocados are ripe so I will be eating all of them within the next two days (yikes!).
Yes, the counter is messy.
I hope this eased her mind a wee bit. I mean, I even got the recycling bin back in before it started to rain.
Lest you think otherwise, the house is not in shambles; in fact, you probably wouldn't think much of it if you were to visit. It's just not at wife-level of being. The dog beds are indeed fluffed. The water dishes are clean and full of water. The dog dishes are drying after being washed. There is order to the chaos.
The wife comes home tomorrow night. I will be very glad to see her, for a variety of reasons. The biggest reason is, of course, that she is missed. I'll have everything in order by then. It won't be hard to get things in order because they are already teetering on being as is supposed to be. I mean, the dog leashes only have to go two feet from where they are. The underwear will have been worn. But, I gotta say, I'll be glad when I don't have to have a list that reminds me to fluff the dog beds. I wasn't made to fluff dog beds....
...or, fret about eating all those ripe avocados.....
...or, return clothes to the store....
...or, bringing the recycling bin in before it rains.
I stand corrected. I beg forgiveness from all you list keepers, dog-pillow fluffers and organized folk. I openly admit that lists are an appropriate tool for even the lamest of us.
I still won't keep a list but I salute you for your prowess. Go ahead--tell me to "Kiss my List." I've earned it.
Just don't make lists of lists. That freaks me out. There's only so much I can take.
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