Let Them Eat Cake

Update on Ol' Pinky: Cold winding down. Pain tolerable. And, no more double-pink eye!

I saw the wife laugh today. A great sign. Better living through chemicals, I say. She still can't hear anything out of her ear but hey, we are focusing on the positive here. Yesterday, she was using a pressure point approach to helping her ear. Monday, she's going back to the doctor about the ear. I love the action of which she taking. No sitting around for the motivated woman in pink.

Her next "job" is to address the stress. (I like that that rhymes.) I leave that journey to her. All I can do is stand on the sidelines and yell things like, "TAKE THAT, BITCH!"

Scenario: Pinky contemplating some ridiculous statement from a person of which is making ridiculous statements.

Me: "DON'T TRY TO MAKE SENSE OUT OF THINGS THAT DON'T MAKE SENSE!" (Super supportive. That's me.)

The Wife: "Okay."

Me: [seeing she is still trying to make sense out of things that don't make sense]: "STOP IT! NOT YOUR CIRCUS, NOT YOUR MONKEYS!"

If that's not support, I don't know what is.
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On a different note, the second of my two work children has moved on to bigger and better things. She got a new job in the suburbs. For that, I am very proud. (It's like watching a baby bird fly the coop.) I am also sad. It was fun having work children. I will still have contact with my two work children but it won't be daily. Thank goodness for texting and social media.

Right before the start of her official going away party, I noticed there was an ice cream cake in the garbage. I was standing at the counter, slicing olives for the taco bar we were setting up when I looked down and...there it was. I took a closer look. Yup, that's half a DQ Ice Cream cake.

I asked, "HEY! IS THAT A DQ CAKE IN THE GARBAGE?"

My work daughter indicated it was.

Me: [indignant] "What the hell is half a DQ Ice cream cake doing in the garbage? That's sacrilegious!" 

It still looked pretty frozen, so I knew it hadn't been there very long. Seems she was cleaning out the work frig/freezer in anticipation of her departure. There were other food products in the garbage but only the ice cream caught my eye.

Me: "How old is this cake?"

I was not amused. This was just plain wrong. WRONG! She muttered something about it being from a few weeks ago. A quick bit of math in my head helped me determine it was two weeks ago.

Me: "Is there anything wrong with it?"

She semi-sorta indicated there was nothing "wrong" with it, besides it being old and being in the garbage. How she determined that two weeks was "old," I do not know. Maybe 30-year-olds think food products older than a day or two should be thrown away. No matter, this was wrong, unjustified, shameful. I wanted to give her up for adoption, seeing as she had put a perfectly good DQ cake in the garbage.

I took a really close look. Nope, not freezer burned. Nope, not melted. Yes, looks perfectly good. Has some plastic covering on it...

You know what I did. You have no question about what I did. I took that ice cream cake out of the garbage, removed the plastic covering and...

...I ate it.

OF COURSE I DID! Why on earth would someone throw out such a wonderful, delicious, perfectly-fine ice cream cake? That is incredibly wrong, wrong, wrong. No one should EVER throw out an ice cream cake unless it is freezer-burned beyond recognition or is tainted with bodily fluid.

My work daughter was mortified but not surprised.

In walks a co-worker....
Co-worker: "Hey! Is that a DQ ice cream cake?"

Me: "Yeah, I dug it out of the garbage and now I'm eating it."

Co-worker: "Is there anything wrong with it?"

Me: "Not that I can tell. It tastes great, it's still frozen and I didn't see any garbage on it."

Co-worker: "It was in the garbage?" She looked a bit surprised.

Me: "Yeah, but I dug it out and it's great! God, I love DQ ice cream cakes!"

I know she is wrestling with her brain, as she love ice cream almost as much as I do. She asks: "Can I have some?"

I can't tell you how pleased I was to hear this question. I now hold this person in higher esteem.

Me: "Of course!" Seeing as her hands were full (she was carrying things in preparation for the party), she asked me to shove a spoonful into her mouth. I looked around for another spoon but she indicated I should just use the friggin' spoon in my hand.

I suppose when one is eating an ice cream cake out of the garbage, a used spoon is the least of your concerns. So, I shoveled a big blob of that cake into her mouth. I daresay she enjoyed that cake as much as I did.

A few minutes later, a client walked by the now-melting, half-eaten garbage-found ice cream cake. He was holding a plateful of tacos, walking away from the taco bar. He looked at the cake, looked at me, looked at it. He asked, "Is that a DQ Ice cream cake?"

I nodded in a most affirmative manner, adding how I had dug it out of the garbage.

He didn't seem one bit concerned. "Can I have a piece?"

I knew I liked him.

The guy put his taco-laden plate onto the counter, used a spoon to hack off a large piece of the quickly-disappearing cake and plopped it right on top of his Mexican fiesta. When asked about it being in the garbage, he said, "I've had more than one dumpster-dive-dinner along the way. This is nothing."

See? There are still good people in the world. He helped me finish off that food of the Gods without question. Other clients and staff looked a bit green in the gills, watching us eat that garbage-blessed dessert, but it didn't slow us down one bit.

As you can imagine, the wife was mortified by everything related to this event. She was disgusted that I would take something out of the garbage and eat it. She was also taken aback that anyone else would join me in such nonsense.

She OBVIOUSLY doesn't love DQ ice cream cakes like we do. She doesn't recognize the pure joy, bliss, heaven such a creation can bring. Sad. So sad. The wife might learn a thing or two by my behavior. Personally, I hope she learns:

Life is short. Eat the cake in the garbage.

It might not be her circus and those definitely aren't her monkies, but that cake can be hers....

....Sometimes you have to sort through the garbage to find the gold. 
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