Friday, June 02, 2017

Old Cold, Orioles Bold

Something is messing with my "attract Orioles" set up on the deck. Something is eating the oranges and drinking the grape jelly and it is NOT an Oriole. In fact, something is STEALING the oranges and dragging them out to the middle of the yard.

I noticed something was amiss when I peered out onto the deck and noticed my grape jelly container was gone. I had filled it the day before so I know it was there. My investigation led to me finding a very empty jelly container--like, licked clean empty. I thought this might be the wind or some weird phenomenon... but, the next day, the re-filled jelly container was gone AGAIN. Once found, it was very clearly consumed by some grape-jelly loving being.

I decided not to put out the grape jelly and but left the oranges, as it appeared an Oriole (or some other bird) was pecking away at it. The first no-jelly-day...the oranges were gone. Stolen right off the bird feeder.

It took me awhile but I finally found the rinds in the yard. Empty, orange rinds.

Now, those are some pretty big oranges I've been using and they were stuck onto these large metal screws, so whatever took those oranges was bigger than an Oriole. Perhaps something raccoon size... although, we haven't seen any raccoons milling about. We have a chipmunk causing havoc but there is no way that little thing could carry an orange. I suppose a bionic squirrel would be close to big enough but I'd think they'd be puking grape jelly after eating a whole bowlful.

Whatever it is, it REALLY seems to like oranges and grape jelly, it is bigger than an Oriole and it is PISSING ME OFF.

Perhaps I'm more pissy about it than usual because I caught a cold and I've been crabby about everything. It's hard not to be crabby when having a snot-filled, throat-scratching, crabby-making hot mess of a time in the Addiverse.

I probably got the cold flying on the plane or from not getting enough sleep on vacation or from drinking out of a tainted hotel glass. No matter. I noticed the scratchy throat the last day of vacation. It hit me hard and without warning. The sore throat is a dead give-a-way that the cold is on the way. I wanted to ignore the scratchiness but it was quickly followed by the low grade fever and the feeling of exhaustion.

I thought I was safe! I thought I had made it through the winter and spring without a cold or flu. I was pretty damn proud of that accomplishment. Then, BAM! End of spring cold.

Never count your colds before the summer hatches.

Now that my eyes aren't watering as much and I'm no longer going through a box of kleenex per hour, I can sit back, reflect and blog.

I've decided that the older you get, the tougher it is to fight a cold. Case in point: thirty five years ago, I wouldn't have even noticed I had a cold besides feeling shitty and sneezy for a bunch of days. I would've sucked down some throat lozenges and been done with it. Twenty five years ago, a cold would slow me down and I'd feel pretty crappy, but it was no reason to miss work or an event. I'd just chug a bunch of cold tablets, carry kleenex at all times and try not to touch anything.

Now.... now a cold kicks my sorry ass from here to eternity. This particular cold left me exhausted to the point I missed two days of work. For me to sleep all day on the couch on a work day is something to write home about. I didn't want to be at home. I wanted to be at work. That said, there was no way in hell I could be at work... unless it was so I could sleep under my desk.

It truly was only a cold--a good, old-fashioned, run of the mill cold. A sneezing, wheezing, coughing, eye watering case of rhinitis. I've had mono and the flu and food poisoning and even"walking" pneumonia (do they even use that diagnosis any more?), so I know what it's like to feel really bad. But, I'm telling ya, this "aging cold: thing...

...It.Kicked. My. Ass. Even my boss commented, and this is a direct quote: "That cold is kicking your ass." At least she knew I was actually sick.

I'm pleased to say that I'm at the point of still being a wee bit snotty but am no worse for the wear. I do have some pretty epic nose-blows and some pain-in-the ass post-nasal drip, but otherwise--I am doing fine. It's allergy season here, so the sneezing might actually be allergy related. No matter. I feel a bazillion percent better and that is what matters....

....No. No, what really matters is what the hell is messing with my Orioles. Now that I'm feeling much better, I may have to stay up all night and stare out the window. Perhaps I should set up a video camera in order to catch the culprit. (Wouldn't it be funny if it were the neighbor playing a joke on me? Stealing my jelly and hollowing out the oranges. THAT would make for a great video.) I've got lots of grape jelly and a whole lot of kleenex. I'm ready to solve the mystery. If I get video or photos, you know I'll post them. If I want to see more Orioles, I need to kick this up a notch.

Kleenex and grape jelly. I'm armed and dangerous. No one messes with my Orioles. Game on, non-bird friend. Game on.




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