Fits & Sticks

My Steetch Feeks arrived as scheduled. (I hate to use the actual name of any company, as it is possible unsuspecting people will arrive in the Addiverse and wonder what the hell just happened.) As promised, I took photos during the unboxing (that's what it's officially called) and shall share them as promised.

Before we go any further, I have to make a confession: I'm kind of disappointed. The pricing was funny (did they think I'd ever pay $98.00 for a pair of pants?) but there wasn't as much hilarity as anticipated. I only hooted and hollered once or twice. I planned on peeing on myself with laughter. Suffice it to say: no piddling ensued. Dang.

The first surprise? How small the box was. I mean, there are five articles of clothing in there. I couldn't figure out how five items could be smooshed in there.

The second surprise? Everything actually fit in the box. Secure, unwrinkled, waiting. Not smooshed. It was packed cute as a button.

The third surprise? Everything fit me. I'm getting ahead of myself telling you this so early in the game but it's only fair to acknowledge my surprise. Fit in the box and fit on me. Big points for the company

The fourth surprise? Everything was machine washable. You may not care about this but I sure do.

My first complaint? I said NO JEWELRY. So, what did they send me? A necklace. A necklace I would never wear unless paid large sums of money and told specifically when I should wear such an item. I've seen friends with style wear this type of necklace and they look amazing on my friends but I'm certainly NOT gonna wear such decoration. People would burst into laughter or flames if I were to put this thing on. I'm sure I would have been more fashionable the moment I donned such a trinket but not today. If I'm going to wear jewelry, it's going to be made of precious metal, it's going to be understated and it's not going to dangle to my belly button. For the record, the wife liked the necklace a lot but agreed it was not for me. So, lose points for sending the necklace. Score: 0-1.

My second complaint? NO ANKLE LENGTH PANTS. So, what did they send? Ankle length pants. To be fair, they were awesome pants, albeit linen. I should NOT ever wear anything linen. All I become is a wrinkled mess. (It's my fault about the material. I never said I don't wear linen. I apologize to my stylist for that oversight.) The pants were well made, were very comfortable and of a color I loved. I know "what not to wear" would approve. But, ankle length! I don't do toes, I don't wear sandals very often at all and I am not a fan of this length on anyone. So, lose points for sending ankle length anything. Score: 0-2.

Side note: I am disappointed they didn't send me capris. I indicated several times on my profile that I wanted capris. SEND ME SOME CAPRIS!

Then came the tops. My stylist obviously listened to my need for loose-fitting tops. He got the colors right. The clothes were very comfortable. I wanted something different because I need some new stuff to wear and I need to have a few items that aren't made of t-shirt or sport-themed material. I hate shopping so having clothes come to me is the perfect way to go. But...


....let's face it. You can't picture me in these clothes, can you? I loved the color of the blue top. LOVED. Big points for the color. But, a sheer flowing top? The wife said, "when would you EVER wear that?" Okay, so she answered the question if I should keep it. (Ignore the fact that I put the blue flowing blouse over my T-shirt. We can't all be fashionistas.)

The next top--a sleeveless diddy with a fun print--was an acceptable "match" with my profile. (I would have preferred blue or a dark brown but what do I know? I'm not a fashion consultant.) I would have kept this summer item had I kept the other four products. I liked it a lot but....

....I already knew I wasn't keeping the first two items, which meant I'd be paying full price for anything I kept and I didn't think the price of this shirt was acceptable. (That's part of the game: keep all five items and get 25% off the cost of the order. Makes the cost much more palatable.) I couldn't justify paying full prices for something I'd never wear it more than twice a year. (I think the wife gave this one a "thumb's down." I can't verify this but I'm pretty sure it was rejected by my fashion consulting wife.) Since I would have considered keeping it, I have to say the score is 1-4..

The wife's favorite pick was a striped shirt. Very loose. Some unknown material that was comfortable, not scratchy although it looked like it would be scratchy. Here's a photo of said shirt. (Ignore the checkered pants with the striped shorts, although I don't mind the look.) The wife wasn't very thrilled with the "peeking tattoos" but not much I can do about that besides wear a shirt under the shirt and that defeats the purpose of wearing the shirt. This was probably the "closest" to something I'd wear. It didn't do much for my girlish figure but it sure was comfy and "normal" and a good color. The stylist suggested pairing this with some casual jeans and a sweater or coat or something like that, which made sense.  But....

....I decided not to keep this one, either. Since this would have potentially made the cut, the final score: 2-5.

I'm glad to say returning things is super easy. Big points for that. They provide a pre-paid, pre-addressed mailing bag. I stuffed the clothes in the bag and sent everything back.

You're probably thinking this experiment is over. I'm pleased to report it is not. I'm giving them one more chance. Heck, they earned the opportunity. I'm a tough cookie. It's hard for me to consider such clothing. They have the right idea. In a month, I will receive Round Two of the Feeks. Of courses I will take photos and I'll review the items. For Round Two, I won't count on hilarity. I'll expect a small box. I'll expect things that fit. I'll expect not to find jewelry or ankle pants. I'll expect surprises. I'll expect to be steeched and feeks. I'll expect to like something enough to buy it...

...AND, I'LL EXPECT SOME CAPRIS. There better be some capris in that tiny box.

T-shirts, beware. T-shirts, be warned. A steech and a feeks might dull your full glory.....
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