Gobble Squared, Part II

Well....depending on whom you ask, that went much better or much, much worse than anticipated.

The wife will NOT be pleased I am writing this blog, but I am gonna do it, anyway. That's how I roll. She's such a private person. She often exclaims, "is NOTHING sacred?" I often try to honor her privacy, but this is too much. Besides, I know she is not alone. I write this for all the people who were up in the night, filled with angst, sadness and pain. I write this for all of you. I wish no one needed this blog but I know you are out there. I give you a virtual hug.

I knew there would be no changing of minds on this supposed day of thanks. Prior to entering the house, I prayed that mouths would be too full to have much time to spit out utter, uneducated nonsense. I had much to say to them but they are not ready or willing to hear it, so why bother raising my blood pressure? Besides, I knew if I started, I would not stop. That would not be fair to the wife, so I didn't start. The venom would have shot out of me like there was no tomorrow. That would've made me no better than them.

No sense in getting too riled up when the audience is speaking French and I'm speaking Chinese.

Thanksgiving 2016: A meal stuffed with hateful, ignorant rhetoric, blatant racism and enough white privilege to choke a Mayflower full of pilgrims. Nothing like a little, "Oh, but I have all kinds of friends!" followed by "please pass the gravy."

I was fortunate enough to be seated at the kiddie table. No joke. There I was with six children, seated in the dining room, away from the adult table in the kitchen. The kids thought I was funny. I thought they were funny. We talked about poop and Santa. I pretended I was drinking poop-flavored beer--out of a glass that was empty, which they found all the more funny.  It was delightful. The wife eventually found her way to the kiddie table and joined us for the relief. Ah,  the joy of being four years old and not wanting to eat the weird purple fluff substance.

It got loud at the adult table. I was able to ignore it. The wife was not. At one point, a sister-in-law poked her head into the dining room and exclaimed, "Do not go in there!" (I knew I liked her.) Like I was gonna go in there.

I would rather stick a drumstick up my ass than go in there. The ignorance spewing forth in that room would have left me scarred for life. I'm no fool. Kiddie table for me.

The wife tried several times to get her family to stop talking politics, but she was VERY unsuccessful.  Each time she tried, she was ignored. At one point, I stood up from across the room and loudly suggested she leave the room. I might have yelled, "WALK AWAY."

Okay, so I did indeed yell, "WALK AWAY." I figured she would benefit from some direct interference, seeing as she was frozen.

Personally, I'm glad I didn't yell something worse. I found it to be a major triumph.


I honestly wasn't bothered by the stupidity because I had truly embraced it before arriving. I had not a shred of doubt that the idiocy would be glaring. Besides, I've been on the fringe since day one. It's easy for me.

It was not easy for the wife.

Thankfully, they did not do the three-hour sob fest so at least we were spared that blessed event. I might have announced I was now Muslim had we had to do that activity. I might have said lots of things I could never take back. I might have walked out. I might have not walked out when I should have walked out. I might have told them what I actually thought about their lack of support, their duplicitous behavior, their glaringly obvious racism, their supposed Christianity....

...The Jesus I know is not the Jesus they profess. Oh, how I am glad I didn't get started on that.

Duty to warn: If one more person says that "they" didn't act that way when Obama was elected, I am going to open a can of whoop-ass like no other. Ugh.

Yes, this did come up at the dinner table, but I wasn't close enough to take action and was able to laugh. Actually, I laughed out loud. Loudly. It snuck out of me, kind of like a fart you didn't see coming. I knew it was of no use to say anything about that birth certificate nonsense, the "coming to take your guns" battle cries, the fear that "now all those people will want rights."

I want to be a better person than that.


Today, the wife looks like she got hit by a truck. To her, I say: you are more than enough.
You are an amazing human being.
You do matter.
You are just as important.
You are equal.
You are not crazy.

I post this little diddy just for her.

We cannot change them. After all, you can lead a horse to water... we can give them facts. We can voice our opinion, but we must know they may not accept it or consider it or even listen to it.

Instead of beating our head on a wall, I suggest we do things that can change the world, that show love and compassion, that help others. We can and will made ourselves heard. We will love each other and seek the light when it is very dark.

We will choose to write a different narrative. 

Like I said, I thought it went a lot better than anticipated... but, that does not mean I'm looking forward to Christmas Eve, the next gathering. I'm not sure I can behave at two events in a row, just a month apart. Perhaps reflective distance and a bit of time passed will have helped.

Perhaps not. We have options. No decision needs to be made today.

A nap and chocolate and supportive friends and Kleenex and the deactivation of social media are needed today. Hugs. Lots of hugs. But, no decisions.

Perhaps a little Elf on a Shelf action will serve as a good distraction. This year's elf might end up being very political. I see a "nasty" elf in the coming days. Or, maybe a nasty hombre.

I may be able to control my mouth but I cannot control the elf. Oh, how I am going to love this elf.

To the wife's family, to those who hate, to those who deny the truth;

to those who are scared, to those who seek peace, to those who work for the truth:

We are all in this together.

And, to those who are feeling defeated: we are with you. We love you. We embrace you. You are not alone. You are more than enough. We are in this together with you. The elf is with you.

Stand back. The elf is on a mission.
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