Well campers, as predicted in my previous blog, the wedding went swimmingly and all was well in the sea of matrimony. I think the wife's family sees me in a whole new light. No, I know they do. Every time they look at me, they profess their gratitude and wonder.
I hope that makes up for me getting mad at the wife during our still-in-progress family vacation, which led to me giving the "Father John Stink Eye" to her dad and sister. You should not mess with me when I am mad. I was mad. Really mad. They earned that stink eye. The only good thing that came out of the event is that when all was said and done (meaning, 30 minutes later when the wife and I apologized to each other and the event was over), the wife's dad exclaimed, "Gay people fight, too!"
I tried not to laugh.
I'd give them the stink eye again if I faced the same situation. I should probably apologize but I'm not in the mood just quite yet. I'm too stubborn and pompous to do so at this time. I'll get there.
Maybe.
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The wife is still in the wilds of the Cheddarlands but I have returned home (as planned, not in any relation to the stink eye. I was really excited to find that my new software had arrived during my time away. I've been waiting for that as I can't do much of anything on my computer at this time--I need the software. As I started to open I the sealed software packaging, I noticed that the envelope had no return address on it. It was one of those "back of your mind" things that catches your attention but doesn't catch it enough to stop you in your tracks. I opened the sealed product, found everything in place and popped that disk right in, despite it verging on being the wee hours of the night. I found the product key and waited for the program to load.
Before I say anything further, I think it important to note that I'm one of those people who is always trying to educate others on the dangers of the Internet: I'm always babbling about phishing, identity theft, malware, fake this or that. At work and at home, I beg people not to click on things, not to believe every email they receive, to do research before buying anything. I'm very wary when it comes to buying things via any site, including the big names, as even they can end up using sellers that sell counterfeit items. I do my research and try to buy things from reputable and real sites/companies/sellers. I do almost my shopping and bill paying line, so I try to pay close attention to what I am doing.....
When the product/activation key didn't work, I wasn't surprised--after all, it was after 11:30 PM and I'm used to being asleep by 9 PM. I figured I had entered the wrong code. I re-entered it, still smiling and humming to myself. Funny, the code didn't work again. I thought maybe activating over the phone might work better than my first two attempts on line. I call the software company and follow the directives.
A stern-sounding recorded voice indicated something about this being an invalid key, then disconnected the call. I decided it was time to go to bed.
I got up early and tried again. I figured a new day might bring a new result. Dang, same message. I started to get a sick feeling. This can't be a fake product, can it? I looked at the box. Everything looked fine. I dug through the garbage (which, by the way, was already at the curb) and found the mailing envelope. The package had come from Texas, which is where the company (if there is a company, I am now thinking) is in Texas. I looked at my credit card site and confirmed the company's billing name, location and transaction. It's at this point I remember my thoughts when looking at the company's web site.....
While doing my research about buying my software a few weeks ago, I remember thinking, "this is a really sucky website for a computer-related company." I remember thinking, "those are the lamest testimonials I've ever read for a company!" and laughed at the photo stock used as part of the testimonials. I clicked back and forth on the various pages and decided all seemed legit. I remember thinking, "well, they are part of the Better Business Bureau" and noted all the on-line companies they deal with and thinking nothing further about actually checking to see if this company is part of BBB or even what their ratings were...
A warning light should have gone on in my head, but it didn't, I am ashamed to admit. Seeing a logo on a website does not mean that it's true. That's like believing something that says, "as checked on Snopes." Hello! Go to Snopes and check it yourself. Anyone can say it was confirmed on Snopes. YOU have to check that the facts and go to the website yourself. Duh! Anyone can use logos from anything--including the BBB logo and all those well-known shopping sites. It's the same as if you get an email from Paypal or Ebay or your credit card company--just because it has the official logo and a seemingly legit link does NOT mean it's real or legit at all....
I decided it was time to call the software company & talk to an actual person. I spoke to a lady named "Sheila" (who was NOT someone named Sheila, unless there is a sudden rash of non-English speaking Sheilas overseas) who was rather rude and told me to speak in "phonetics" or something. When I told her I didn't know what she was asking, she barked out, "Like B as in Boy."
Dear god, I have no idea what words go with what letters. I had to think quickly. I assure you some bad words came to mind but I tried to stick with simple things like D is an dog, M as in Mom. When I finished coming up with words for letters, she barked out, "that is not a genuine product. The key has been blocked. I cannot help you further."
And then, Sheila hung up on me.
I'll give a her B as in.....
After being dumped by Dawn, it dawned on me that this fake company has my credit card number and billing information. I took a gander at the credit card website and nothing was amiss--no weird or new charges. Still, I thought it best to cancel the card and make a fraud report. I spoke to a really nice guy named Michael (whose name probably really is Michael and who was not stationed overseas--unless he had been practicing English his whole life and learned to sound quite Midwestern and clear) who was very reassuring and helpful. When I professed how stupid I felt after explained my bogus purchase, he gave me a non-judgmental chuckle and stated, "these things happen." He then offered to help me by canceling the card and starting a fraud report before I had even asked. He indicated that the money will be put back into my account.
Sweet baby Jesus, thank you! I will do all my business with this credit card company for all the days in my life.
Since I didn't have any software to use and as the wife is still in the cheddarlands, I had lots of time to do research. I spent the majority of my morning trying to figure out who and if this is a company at all. I'm telling you what--I learned a lot. A WHOLE LOT. This company has several names, all of which aren't really companies. They sell things and then poof! Gone. Thankfully, the Internet leaves a trail and it wasn't hard to figure things out once I got the trail going. I was disgusted to see that this company of sorts is on reputable websites, but when the link is followed thoroughly, I hit the same dead end. I would have had the same result had I used one of the major shopping sites. I found a BBB complaint about the company (one of the editions of the company, under a completely different name than mine but 100% the same company) which described the exact same issue (even the same product) I was facing. I returned to the original website and took a really close look. Huh. No phone number anywhere. No location beyond Texas.
Where the hell was my head when I was buying this software?
I tried sending an email to the "contact us" link, but no surprise--it bounced back, undeliverable.
I scoped out Book de la Face and found a page for the company, which "is back up and running." Sure you are. I was sad and then disgusted to see that this fake company's page was all about the Bible and the Gospel. I won't say any more because it would be so judgmental that I would have to spend an extra five years in Purgatory. I decided dragging a fake company's name through the mud would be ridiculous, so I didn't post any identifying information.
While staring at my computer, still chastising myself, I re-opened the emails I received from the non-company. I noticed the original confirmation email came from a yahoo account. I figured that was fake, too but decided to send a rude email to the address. If nothing else, I figured it would be therapeutic. It was only two lines long and ended with "lesson learned--I knew better." I immediately felt better and had some ice cream for brunch (I had already eaten breakfast and it was a bit early for lunch).
Imagine my surprise when only a few minutes later I received an email back, indicating, "We don't understand what mean. Please explain?" I couldn't resist. After all, I had nothing to lose. I wrote, again in a stink-eye tone, that they had sent me a bogus, non-genuine, unusable item, as confirmed by Microsoft. I ended it with "unless by some miracle you are going to refund my money, it was a complete waste of [insert money total here]."
God bless America if they didn't contact me again. This time, they indicated my problem wasn't a problem at all--it was Microsoft's problem--and that I should try three of the "new" activation codes they provided in the email.
Oh dear god, now I'm gonna install my fake product with illegal codes?
Although I have already decided that I will buy a legal, actual copy, I thought I'd entertain myself by trying these three fake, most certainly illegal codes. The first one was, of course, not a real code. The second and third ones were "real codes" but had already been used the maximum amount of times and thus were no longer valid. Anyone surprised? Not moi. At this point, I'm giggling and thinking things like, "Gosh, I can't believe Microsoft would do this to me."
I took a much closer look at the product and packaging while waiting for the program to load each time. I noticed when I loaded the program, it wasn't even the version on the disk that is named on the box. I took a much closer look at the activation key sticker and realized it is a really, really good copy...not an original, as I mistakenly thought last night. Anyone can buy a sealer machine.....and, as for the hologram on the label....well, it must have been left in Texas.
So, learn from me. Don't be duped. Check and re-check. Forget buying stuff like this on line. Go to the store. And, for pete's sake, make sure you use a credit card lest you get stuck with a bill for something you can't use because it's a fake product from a non-existent company.
Anyone wanna buy some software, cheap? I'll deliver.
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