I try not to babble of love or anything serious like that--I much rather laugh my way through the day than get all sappy or serious or mushy. I try to preserve at least one shred of dignity and privacy for the wife. That said, I have come to the conclusion that I must blog about this, privacy be damned.
The wife is--admittedly--addicted to reality TV in general and to OWN channel in particular. (We all have our vices.) The other night, she was watching a show on OWN about the f*i*v*e languages of EL.Oh.Vee.EEE. (I'm sticking to code for the time being. Sorry about spelling and phonics, but it's the only way to keep the readership honest. I'll call it 5-LoL for blogging purposes.) It was something about how we as humans have different ways of communicating within a relationship, with most of us having one primary way to "show me the love." I didn't pay much attention to the show as it seemed kinda hokey to me and it smacked of heterosexual-you-can-change-religious flavor. It was nice enough but I stuck to important things like playing words games on the Internet.
After the show was over, the wife hopped on to her iPad (well, not LITERALLY onto her iPad--that would be damaging) and sought the website about the 5-LoL. I still wasn't paying much attention but couldn't help but get involved once she started taking the thirty question test--a profile, actually--to determine her "language." I looked over her shoulder and gave some unsolicited advice--many comments came flying from this peanut gallery. I thought the choices were kind of dumb--it was like being forced to pick one poison over another. I hate to admit it, but I became intrigued by this nonsense. Once she was done, I asked if I could take the test.
She handed me the iPad and let me take a shot.
Imagine our surprise when we both came up with the same language. As we basically have nothing in common except our love of food and travel (okay, that's a bit on the dramatic side, but those who know us realize that we are mighty opposite, living proof that opposites can and do attract), it was refreshing to determine we are speaking the same language.
The thing is....
....our language is in the physical touch category.
I would venture to say that few of our friends would guess this and I KNOW no relation of ours would even believe it.
I'm giving up a lot of sacred personal space away by saying even a peep more about this.
(Side note: you really should look this stuff up, lest you think envision us frollicking naked on the front lawn, groping each other in a mad fashion. The physical touch isn't half as exciting as this blog would have you think.)
We don't hold hands in public. We don't hug or pat or squeeze. You won't see us walking arm-in-arm at the mall. I barely make eye contact unless it's to roll my eyeballs. Heck, we don't even sit on the same couch in most public settings. There is not one shred of public display of affection......
We are the anti-PDA.
And yet, here we are supposedly speaking the language of per*son*al*t.o.u.c.h
I blame society. (Someone's gotta take the blame.) Remember, it was the previous millennium when we started our lives. Trained well by society, such a language was not an option. We succumbed to brainwashing for the comfort of others. I like to think if we were starting off as youngsters in today's world, things would be very different. But, we are thirty years too old to find out.
Don't feel bad about this. Instead, give us an authentic Mexican dinner smothered in home-made guacamole and with a little flan or three milk cake for dessert and we will be speaking our speak in a most satisfied, unobtrusive manner. You pick up the check and we'll be smitten for days.
So, if you go out to dinner with us, know that we speak the language of touch but we're not going to speak to you. We are going to remain very, very quiet. We will speak to ourselves as we wipe the crumbs off our face.
We speak our language in whispers to each other.
Well, whispers....and food. Did I mention we sure like to talk the language of food? Food is safe. Food is passionate. Food won't get you pregnant.
Food is a language we share, loud and clear. Everyone knows we have a passion for food. Oh, to go out to eat and put our lips on savory morsels! We shall show our love through our love of food. Going out to dinner with us is like going on a date. Oh, be still my taste buds!
Perhaps you should equate us eating a bowl of chips with guacamole to hand holding....a shared piece of tiramisu to a hug.....breakfast for dinner to an arm-in-arm walk.....a dinner at a local chain to a wet kiss.
Makes you wonder to what dinner at an all-you-can-eat Thai buffet would equate, doesn't it?
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:-)
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