Royal Flushing, Indeed

Note to self: the title of the blog entry actually matters.  One of my blog titles led to over 4000 hits, all of which were accidents. (Google-ing is an amazing thing.) I never thought about that particular blog title being that of a movie--I just thought it was clever.  I suppose I should be happy to have 4000 hits but it kinda freaked me out, considering I only have like five actual readers and the blog had nothing to do with the movie of which they were seeking.  I wimped out and changed the title.  

Poor Freckles is doing the "traveling puke tour" this morning....that's when the dog walks while puking.  Why do they do that? I've never purposefully puked while walking or vice versa.  Worse, the first puke is always in a corner.  Usually, it's Lucy doing the traveling puke tour but today it was Freck's turn. Since Freckles is a "silent puker," I never hear the first episode until the pile is in the corner.  (That's the other thing--why do our two dogs go to corners to puke? Can't they just puke in the middle of the floor like drunken friends?) Once the first puke is complete, it's off to walk and puke.  Just about the time I get to the original pile, another pile surfaces.  I yelled to the wife for help but she didn't hear me.  Or, maybe she did and pretended not to.  Hard to say.  Can  you blame her?

The new toilet is delightful.  Since I promised you a review, here are my observations:

The higher stool is interesting.  I can see how it would be handy for those who have trouble getting up from the seated position, those recovering from some sort of surgery, tall people.  I'm still chewing on this.  I can put my feet on the ground but it's more like my toes are on the ground, not my flat foot.  I'm 5'5" and have not-too-short legs, so I'm an average kind of reviewer.  I have no idea how the wife uses the toilet--my guess is she looks like Edith Ann in that big rocking chair--there is no way her feet can touch the ground if she is properly seated on the toilet.  I would try to get a photo but that would be the last blog and last photo I'd ever publish.

The no-slam lid is amazing.  Okay, so it's amazing because I didn't even know such a thing existed. Both the toilet seat and the toilet lid are no-slam.  Whoever thought of this is a genius.  I shut the lid after using the toilet just because I like watching it.  I'm guessing this would be super-cool in a house with men who forget to put the seat down.  The female would enjoy watching the toilet seat slowly lower to its place of rest.  It would also be handy for those who use the bathroom in the night and don't want to wake their sleeping significant other.  There's nothing like the slam of a toilet lid to rouse you from a warm, fuzzy dream.  (Um, last night I dreamed the wife washed all our pet mice--a blue-bucket full of white mice--in the washer and they all died--I asked her why on earth she had done that and she answered that they were dirty and needed a bath; hence, she thought washing them in the washing machine would be faster.  One lived through the wash cycle but quickly died when placed in the blue bucket of dead mice. What the hell does that dream mean?)

The flush capacity is wonderful.  No problems with large yule tide logs.  I am pretty amazed by this as there is very little water in the actual bowl and the tank is smaller than the bucket used for the dead mice.  I haven't come near to having a clog and I'm a pretty powerful woman.  I may have to invite some super poopers over so we can give this throne a ride for its money.

The skidmark situation is less that anticipated.....reviews on line said this model had good results with not leaving skid marks.  I am here to tell you I have seen skid marks, which makes me sad.  I had hoped for a skid-mark-free existence.

It's not half as loud as reviews led us to believe it would be.  Reviews made us think it was going to sound like a 747 taking off.  It sounds like a normal toilet to me. The only difference we've noticed in regards to the sound is how quickly the tank fills.  Our last 18 year old toilet took like an hour and a half to fill--this one is done in like ten seconds.  I anticipate savings on our water bill.

The shape doesn't matter.  I think it's an oval, not round, but I'd have to go look.  I know one of our other toilets is round and one is oval.  My butt can't tell the difference between any of them.

We can see the wall.  Our other toilet's tank was huge.  It was almost impossible to paint behind it when we painted the bathroom. This one's tank is little and leaves much room for painting, which is good because we are getting the bathroom painted. (The color is still up for debate, so if you'd like to vote, say something.  The wife is going with more boring neutrals.  What's wrong with a bright red bathroom?)

"It looks stylish.  Contemporary." That's what the wife says.  I have no idea what that means and she's a mouse killer but we'll go with it.  We are looking good.

Finally, we both like it enough that we wish we had this model in our other two bathrooms.  That won't be happening.  I have other things I need to do with my money.  One must have priorities. I purchased a new point and click camera which cost the same as a new toilet and I'm all good with that.  I'm tired of every single photo I take being blurry so I went with a new camera instead of a new toilet for the second bathroom.  This new camera has an amazing shutter speed.  Not one photo has been blurry at all.....

....and, I'm gonna need that shutter speed when I take the wife's photo while she is seated on the toilet.  That's going to be a point, click and run photo.......