Say.Hey.Cay.Nine. Cracker.

I'm sorry I'm a few days behind in blogging--I've been very distracted by the whole New Madonna album, new Madonna video AND the pending Madonna half time show at the Super Bowl.  It's an exciting time to be a Madonna Whore....

...almost as exciting as the mail Lucy and Freckles received today.  No, they did not receive tampons in the mail (which is ALWAYS exciting); rather, they received St. Francis of Assisi Pet Medals from their beloved grandmother.  Talk about dogs that could use some love from St. Francis.  These party pups are going to wear these medals every day for the rest of their lives.  Thanks, Wild Mama!  Four paws up.  Here's to lowering our vet bills through some good old fashioned patron saint prayer.

But, back to our previously scheduled program.

Lucy's visit to the dog chiropractor went swimmingly.  The wife and I loaded the pups into the car and we headed west.  Dog chiropractors seem to be few and far between in these parts, so a road trip was a requirement of this endeavor.  We set off into the setting sun (literally--dear god, it was rather torturous driving straight into the sun) with hopes of cures and miracles.  Forty five minutes later, we were in the parking lot of said dog chiropractor's place of business.  We were greeted by our friends Spotted Owl and Ingabor Logjammer, dog fans and dog chiropractor supporters who live in town (which is our out of town).  The wife, friends and Freckles got comfortable in the waiting room while Lucy and I headed to the treatment room, a large open space in sight of the business area & office staff.

Those of you who know Lucy know that she LOVES everyone and she LOVES to give disgusting, smelly kisses and she NEEDS to be with everyone she sees. NEEDS! It PAINS her when she cannot give a proper greeting or share a hearty display of affection.  So, you can imagine how much she loved waiting for the doctor to arrive, all the while unable to profess her love to the office staff.  At first, it was just tail-wagging and wiggling in happiness.  Next came some little puffing sounds.  Next came the small barks. Then came the big barks!  Since that wasn't working, she gave the "cattle are lowing" sound, always an attention getter.  When she does that, she is miffed.  Oh, the agony of having to sit in that corner and wait her turn!  

Thankfully, Dr. Cay Ninecracker entered the room and saved Lucy's day--no more cattle are lowing sounds needed.  If you are wondering what a dog chiropractor looks like and what he or she wears, I tell you to picture what your chiropractor looks like and you will have your answer. This makes total sense because Dr. Cay Nine Cracker IS a chiropractor of people.  Dr. K9 Cracker put on her lab coat (so she wouldn't get dog fur on her people patients) and gave Lucy all the love and attention she had been so desperately seeking.  As Lucy was jumping up and down on her back legs, it was pretty clear that the reason for her visit was not exactly present itself in a fashion it would have a week before.   No matter, Dr. K9 focused on giving Lucy lots of love and kisses; thus, Lucy was quite satisfied and very forgiving.  

I liked this lady immediately.  I can't put a finger on it and it's one of those intuition things that I don't like to listen to....but, I liked this lady immediately and Lucy liked this lady as soon as she entered the room and the whole thing just felt right.  How can you not love when there is lots of love and affection and laughing and tail wagging and squirming and jumping going on?

Dr. K9 was playful and efficient.  All work with lots of love.  Check, check, check of the vertebrae.  Kiss, kiss, kiss, work, work, work.  She asked me to hold Lucy so she could complete the next part of the exam......

....when she got to the "problem," it couldn't have been clearer.  Talk about obvious. If Lucy were a cartoon, her eyes would've bugged right out of her head, her tail would've shot straight up and her being would've made a loud, surprised WHOOOOOP! sound.  I'm telling you what, it was hilarious!  So dang obvious.  I'm not kidding about how she looked: eyes bugged, tail up, WHOOOP sound.  Bingo!

Surprisingly to me, Dr. Cracker didn't seem to think it was Lucy's back. (Thank you, baby jesus!) She gave Lucy a squeeze near the back again (WHOOOOP!) and pointed......to.....

wait for it, wait for it.....

.....the dog's pelvis/pelvic area muscles.  

Of COURSE it was her pelvis area.  Why wouldn't it be? Our dogs seem to share our miseries.  In this case, it was rather like Lucy was sharing my pelvic mesentery mysteries, just like Freckles getting so sick when the wife was a sad sack of pain and angst one year ago. Stop it, already!

As for theories, Dr. K9 Cracker surmised that Lucy must've done the splits (like the Chinese splits) and pulled/ripped/hurt/stretched/strained/whatever the pelvic/hip area muscles, probably slamming onto her "sits bones" as she finished her splits. Yeow! It would be pretty painful and would take time to completely heal.  Think about when you pull a muscle--it sucks.  Think about when you bruise a bone--sucks worse.  Think about when you do both at the same time, on both sides of your body.  Pass me the pain meds!  Dr. K9 reminded me that dogs tend to heal a lot faster than humans.  The doctor did a few adjustments (yup, just like they do with humans) and said Lucy didn't have to return unless the symptoms returned or other symptoms surfaced.

Wait, did she just say we don't have to come back?  Is this not the greatest thing since sliced bread? I couldn't believe it.

Can I just say thank you to all the dog loving friends who have used a dog chiropractor.? We can't thank you enough!

In case you are wondering if going to a dog chiropractor is expensive, it is not.  For me to say that, you know it has to be reasonable.  I swear I spend more money on their food for the week than I did for the appointment.  I suppose I might feel otherwise if we had to have adjustments three times a week but I found it very reasonable for the visit.

Lucy seems to be well on the road to recovery.  I am slowly weaning her off the various meds I've been pumping in her, as she seems in need of nothing further besides a a little rest and relaxation.....

.....This means that Lucy will NOT be allowed to dance on tables while Madonna is performing her half time show.  I may let her do a little sassy dance when Madge's video debuts tonight, but that's it.

As for me, I will be dancing on the table.  My pelvis is just fine.  Sassy dance, indeed!