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It's been one year since the wife fell screaming to the floor after blowing her disk out one work morning at 5 A.M.  Remember? She went to brush her teeth and instead she found herself writing on the bathroom floor, unable to get up or do much of anything.  She spent the next five days on the floor--literally FIVE long days of hell--on the floor. 

So, imagine my surprise when I one year later hear a blood curdling scream emanating from the upstairs hallway on a work day at 5 A.M.

I've never heard anything quite like this scream, tho...that's because it was a dog.  It was Lucy, to be exact.  I didn't know dogs could scream but I am hear to tell you that they can.

What happened next is a blur.  I jumped off the toilet (yes, I was peeing) and threw myself toward the dog.  The wife....well, she went streaking out of the area and hid in the other bathroom, screaming "DO SOMETHING! DO SOMETHING!" from afar.  Freckles was shaking so hard she was blurry and she kept trying to get to Lucy.  I bent down on the floor and gently scooped the dog toward me.  She kept yelping like there was no tomorrow.

My heart hurt hearing that awful yelping.

In case you are wondering, I did remember to pull up my pants.  Also, in case you are wondering, you are free to laugh at any time during this story because envisioning this scene really should bring you at least a guffaw.

So, I talked in a gentle voice to Lucy, all the time doing an exam of her parts.  I kept thinking that she must have blown out a knee or ripped a tendon or something awful. I looked and I searched and I reassured (the dog, not the wife--the wife was on her own for the time being). Front legs-- good. Back left leg....good.  Back right leg....good.  Both eyes....in the socket where they belong.  No blood, no bones protruding, no nothing.  Just this pitiful yelping and whimpering. 

I was finally able to soothe her to the point she stopped crying.  Poor Freckles was still a blurred mess and the wife was still in panic mode.  I talked to Lucy but she had little info to share.  I explained to her that we needed to go outside for the morning pee (her pee, not mine--I already peed).  I put her down on the floor as I put on my shoes....I noticed that she when she tried to get back up the stairs, she couldn't.  I mean there was no way in hell her body part(s) were going to let her do that.  She couldn't jump, she couldn't dance, she couldn't go up the stairs.

Great.  Now we have one dog that can't go UP stairs and one that can't go DOWN stairs...and, we live in a tri-level.

Stairs.  That's all we have. Stairs.

I had to carry Lucy in and out so she could do her duty. By this time, the wife had surfaced from the bathroom and Freckles was only shaking a little bit. Although I could still see nothing wrong, I could tell there was something definitely wrong with her gait and that she couldn't use her back end like normal.  I wasn't sure what to do.  I couldn't miss another day of work--I just missed one for pooping my brains out.  I couldn't leave her like this.  I couldn't take her to work.  I did the only thing I could think to do:

I drugged her. 

I took a pain pill left over from her tooth surgery and shoved it in.  I made sure she was safe and as comfortable as possible and then I sucked up all my guilt and went to work.

As I was driving, I took solace in the fact that her tail never stopped wagging when I was talking to her.  I took that as a good sign--I figured if her tail was wagging, her back must be functioning at least a little bit.

As I was driving, I made an appointment with the vet (CA-CHING!) and only spent a few hours at work.  When I got home, Lucy was very happy to see me but she couldn't jump up.  It was miserable to see.  She wanted so badly to give me my usual greeting but her body did not cooperate.

We won't even talk about how awful it was when she went out and tried to poop.  Oh my.  I need therapy after seeing that.

The vet did a body scan, asked questions, watched Lucy walk to and fro...all the time Lucy's tail never stopped wagging.  They know Lucy and I could they were concerned.  At least there wasn't a tooth sticking out of her snout this time. The vet tech bent over but Lucy couldn't kiss her. She lamented how Lucy must really be sick if she couldn't jump up to give a kiss. I confessed my sin of drugging my dog using leftover tooth surgery medication.  Thankfully, the vet nodded at me in understanding.  "Well, it's not neurological and that's very good," the vet said reassuringly.  She then felt along Lucy's spine, cocking her head almost as if she were listening.

I could see it coming.  I could tell what the vet was thinking.  For one-one billionth of a second, I went to a very dark place....one that said, "I can't do this to my dog. I can't make her go through surgery."  I quickly knocked off the melodrama and calmly waited for the vet's proclamation.

The diagnosis? A back injury.  Just like the wife.  A back injury at 5 A.M. on a work morning.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Suffice it to say, Lucy was given several meds to decrease the swelling and to drown out the pain.  The vet, ever so in tune with the money-pit-ness of our dogs, stated we could do the rest/relaxation/medication route for the weekend. If things didn't improve, x-rays and other tests would follow next week.  The meds weren't a cure but would give Lucy time to heal. She reassured me that it was nothing that we had done or not done--"all it takes is a sneeze."

Like I didn't already know that.  Geez, the wife was just reaching for her toothbrush when she went down in a blaze of glory.

I'm happy to report Lucy is giving us a run for the money--literally.  We are supposed to be keeping her quiet and calm.  We're trying to make sure we carry her up the stairs, that we don't let her try to jump up on the couch, that she not dance in happiness when she sees us.  I am here to tell you we are doing a really lousy job--those pain meds have her feeling good to go.  She moves faster than us. She is doing extremely well and is able to get around without issue.  I'm cautiously optimistic.  In the meantime, I going to learn more about canine spine issues. I'm going to learn how to use pressure points to help her heal & to lower the pain with less medication.  I'm going to seek direction on how to help her prevent this in the future.  If I have to, I'll build a ramp to the couch and to the yard.

I'm not sure if you can help a dog strengthen its core, but if you can, we'll be doing it. 

......One who can't walk up stairs and one who can't walk down stairs.  The wife and I are building our cores and all our other muscles carrying these mutts up and down the stairs... it's all good as long as the wife and I can get up and down the stairs on our own.....

Whose idea was it to buy a tri-level, anyways????