Sharing the Love

Oh my achin' buttocks--has it already been a week? I've been so busy searching for ultra OB tampons and hating my phone that I hadn't realized how long I've been away.  Well, you haven't missed much.  The most exciting thing going on in these parts is that I am in the process of developing an unfortunate case of acute viral rhino pharyngitis....aka the common cold.  How do I know this is developing?  The scratchy throat, the start of ear "roaring," very subtly snotty nasal passages, strangely tired, ever-so-slight feverish aching and sinus pressure inklings are dead give-a-ways.  Although I have yet to sneeze or hack fur balls, I can tell I am in for every-so-popular cold. I know you know what I mean.  Everyone can relate to having the common cold.  That's why it's called common.  We all get them.

Did you know that Ben Franklin was the guy who figured out what was going on with the common cold? According to pbs.org, Franklin decided that the common cold was not caused by wearing wet clothing or dampness in the air. "Franklin observed that sailors, who were constantly wearing wet clothing, remained healthy. After considering the matter on and off for several years, he eventually concluded: "People often catch cold from one another when shut up together in small close rooms, coaches, &c. and when sitting near and conversing so as to breathe in each other's transpiration." Before the knowledge of viruses and germs, Franklin had determined that the common cold was passed between people through the air."

What didn't that guy figure out or invent? What a man!

I am at day 1/2, which means I have about 13.5 more days to go. Technically, I haven't really started the entire cold process but it is looming, with just enough of those subtle symptoms setting off warning bells.  I've been surrounded by people hacking and moaning and nose-blowing and eye-watering for the past three weeks at work.  And, I do mean surrounded.  It was destined to be my turn sooner or later, despite my best efforts to clean my keyboard, sanitize my doorknob, refuse to shake hands and use the force of positive thought.  While I thought I was positively-focused on how I would not get the cold despite being surrounded by it (I envisioned myself glowing and happy and healthy), I think I was positive I would eventually get the cold...and, thus set my own destiny into motion.


It started last night while we were out to dinner.  I had thought about taking the wife to a local restaurant of which she was quite interested in, but a quick drive by suggested that the place was already packed and I knew I didn't have the patience to deal with waiting for a table.  I've been pretty patient these days, so I found that to be a rather odd feeling.  We decided on a local barbecue house (what IS the meaning of all this meat in my life these days?) as it is usually tasty, it was something different, it didn't look crowded and they have a fabulous baked potato covered in sea salt (always important to this vegetarian).  While waiting for our food, I suddenly realized that I wasn't feeling "right."  I wasn't sick.  I certainly wasn't nauseous. I wasn't feverish.  I just didn't feel "right."  It was like a soft wave coming up on shore...it was in motion, it was a wave, but it wasn't overwhelming or crashing or anything.  It was a gentle, ever approaching wave.

Side note: The last time I didn't feel right during a meal in a restaurant was in 2003 when I ended up having my appendix out.  This was NOTHING like that.  Besides, I only had one appendix, so I knew I was good to go.

 I mentioned it to the wife, who thought I meant I had a stomach ache or such.  "No," I assured her, "I just don't feel right.  Like I'm getting a cold."

DAMN!  Did I just mention that I think I am getting a cold?

And, so it begins.

For the record: If the worst thing that happens to me this month is that I catch a cold, I am all good with it! 

I don't think I've ever blogged about having a cold, so this is your lucky day.  I figure I best write about it now before the "real" symptoms set in.  You know the ones: eyes watering so much you can't see the monitor; sneezing loudly enough to wake the neighbors; chunks flying out of your nose that you are afraid part of your brain just exited the building....ad nauseum.

You know, when I think about it, I figure I've had two colds a year for the past...oh, let's just say 40 years. That means I've got 80 episodes of experience with the common cold.  Even if I only had one episode a year, that would be 40 opportunities to enjoy the ride.  That's mighty common.  Out of those 80, I'd say only ten have mosied on to become sinus infections, so having a cold is really not very life changing.  Just a pain in the.....nose. 

I don't know about you, but I approach a cold like battle.  At the first inkling, I stock up on kleenex, cold tablets (both day and night kind), zinc tabs, Vitamin C, vapor rub, zinc stuff to shove up my nose and chocolate.  (Feed a cold, feed a fever.  That's my motto.)  I suck zinc like there is no tomorrow.  There is supposedly no scientific proof this will make any difference in helping my cold, but I believe it does so that's what really matters.  I will do anything to make the cold last even seven minutes shorter or lessen the severity of symptoms by 0.00001%.

I don't whine.  I fight.  I understand why we stay "fight a cold."  I stand my ground and fight.  Take that, you nasty cold!

And, I nap. Can't forget to nap.


Today, I am on-call for work, which is the perfect day to start a cold.  You may find that to be weird, but to me it's almost genius.  I lay on the couch and wait for the phone to ring.  When it's not ringing, I eat chocolate and nap. When it is ringing, I eat chocolate and answer it.  If it doesn't ring, I've had a great day because I spent it eating chocolate and resting.  It truly is the perfect on-call day.  I figure, if I truly am getting a cold, tomorrow and Monday will be the "sucky" days, as those for me are traditionally the "I'm sick with a cold" day--the fever, the aching, the overwhelming tiredness. If that doesn't develop--whether it's because I was able to use the power of positive thinking or if it's because the five bags of zinc I sucked down or if it's because I had an episode of scurvy and not a cold--I will celebrate and eat chocolate.  It's win-win: no matter what does or does not happen, I'll be eating chocolate and napping.  Is this the life or what?

So, today there will be no swearing at my phone or searching for ultra OB tampons.  Today will be spent with a power-shopping event at the local drugstore followed by a nap....

....did I mention I'd be eating chocolate?
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