Check.Mate

Here's to Ron Santo. Dude, you are so in my Hall of Fame. Here's hoping you get that World Series win now that you have gone to the great ball field in the sky. Santo, Kissinger, Beckert, Jenkins, Banks. Awesome childhood memories.

I'm sure most of you think I am going to write about Illinois passing the Civil Union bill....and, you would've been right.........but, it has to wait. I must harass the wife for writing me a bad check.

I was minding my own bee's wax yesterday morning when I decided to check my on-line bank account. I like to do this occasionally--mostly because I forget to record what I've spent, but also because I don't trust my bank as far as I can throw them--ever since the take-over, I have been less than impressed. So, imagine my surprise when I see a withdrawal for $500 that I have no recollection of making. For some of you, $500 is chump change. For me, it's the lotto. After I calm down and stop swearing about how much I hate my bank (almost as much as I hate my cell phone, and that is saying a lot), I look to see what the withdrawal was for--an "ATM adjustment." What the hell does that mean?

I don't have time--or money!--for unknown ATM adjustments!

I started to write some hate e-mail, but that seemed too slow--I needed immediate answers. I started to make some calls, but the dang bank wasn't open in the early hours. I am LIVID! How can one check clear and the other not clear? I HATE THAT BANK!

I re-gain my composure, focus on all the things for which I am grateful (mantras like, "I'm grateful I even have a bank account, I am thankful I had $500 in the first place, I am grateful I learned of this before bouncing checks across the nation") and decide to wait until I talk to an actual person at the bank before taking my bank's name in vain. It is when I finally speak to a very patient, calm customer service person who tells me I will be getting the rejected check back as, "ma'am, the check was altered. For your safety, the check cannot be cashed. Your account has been adjusted, as we could not cash the altered check."

Altered check? I stop and tip my head, quizzically.

Altered check?

Then, I remember: THAT'S the check the wife re-wrote the sum....and, THAT'S the check I literally said to her, when she handed it to me: "They aren't going to take a check like that."

She assured me they would most certainly accept the check. "I wrote the words right there. I initialed the changes."

And, even though my first response was "they aren't gonna accept that," and even though I looked at that check three or four times and thought, "they aren't gonna accept that check," I didn't ask for a new check, I didn't argue, I didn't do anything but shrug my shoulders, deposit the check and think nothing more of it.

Until this morning.

That customer service rep took the sails right out of my "I hate my bank" sails. I thanked her for her time and then added mention of being grateful that the bank actually pays attention to that kind of thing.

I can't complain too badly, as this is a perfect "I told you so" opportunity. As nothing managed to bounce, I can make even more fun of this. Had checks started bouncing across the nation, I'm not sure how entertained I would have been.

I apologize to my bank for all those evil thoughts I had about them. (For the record: I do not apologize to my phone for how much I hate it. But, that's a whole 'nuther story.)
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We'll talk about "getting civilized" next post. Until then, I have to go run to the bank. I have to deposit that new check the wife just handed me....
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