Paper.Friggin'.cut.

Yesterday, I went to a local hospital to visit a client who was medically hospitalized. As I'm walking in the front door, I give myself a paper cut (actually, a cardboard cut in this case) while opening my package of Trident Cinnamon gum (surely the gum of the gods). I mutter a curse word, look at the wound (wow, it's "smiling" at me--those cardboard cuts are deep!), but it's not bleeding, so I keep walking and forget about it. After all, it's just a stupid paper cut.

Well, I forget about it until I was waiting for the elevator. I'm standing there, minding my own business, alone in this little elevator area, very much removed from the hustle and bustle of the hospital. There is nothing or no one else around--just me and the three closed elevator doors. For some reason, I look down......

.....and see a big blop of very red blood on their clean, shiny floor.

Oh dear. Seems my paper cut is bleeding.

I immediately raise my hand above my head in an effort to stop the blood. As I'm standing there like the Statue of Liberty, I realize that I don't have a kleenex or paper towel or napkin or even a scrap of paper to use so I can wipe this blop of blood. It's me and the blood on the floor.

I look around. No security cameras. Good.

Suffice it to say, I left my blop of blood on the floor. It was the wrong thing to do but really, there wasn't nothing in the vicinity I could use. I guess I could have used my coat or my pant leg but that didn't seem like a good option. I figured they are a hospital--they'll know what to do when seeing a blop of blood. They have policy and procedure about these things. Someone will run and get a spill kit; someone else will get a bio hazard bag. Well, that or the janitor will smear it around next time he mops.

So, now I have a new problem--I am bleeding and it's not stopping. I don't have a band-aid. It looks ridiculous. I am trying to walk without letting the blood drip but walking this way means everyone can see my now bloody finger/hand. When I get to the person's hospital room, I stop at the sink and rinse off my hand. (Great, now I've contaminated her sink as well as the public floor.) I grab a paper towel and wrap it around my finger, keeping it up in the air as to stop the bleeding.

As the client was sleeping when I arrived, I decided to write her a note and leave her to snoring. Unfortunately, this means I have to take off the paper towel. I do this and start writing, but now I've gotten blood all over her pen. Dear God. I stop writing, take me and the pen to the sink and wash both thoroughly. For good measure, a little dab of hand sanitizer was employed. Just as I'm returning the pen, the nurse comes in and wakes her, so I am indeed able to visit with her as planned.

Here's the funny thing: I'm in a friggin' hospital and I can't get a band aid. They won't (or can't) give me one. I suppose they are like $127.95 each and have be doctor-ordered. All I want is a band-aid. Not a sling. Not stitches. Not even gauze. No medical attention. Just a band-aid!

For the record: it is impossible to get a band-aid in a hospital. I might have been able to glean a piece of scotch tape or maybe a kleenex, but not a band aid.

Made me kinda glad I left my blop of blood on the floor.
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