No Phone Zone
(the easy way)

Oprah wants us all to sign on for her No Phone Zone campaign--so none of us are texting or dialing while driving. I thought I'd do it the easy way and not have a phone....

In the way only I can do things, I have managed to lose my cell phone. It may actually have been stolen....either way, I have been without a cell phone since 9 AM on Saturday. Last time I saw it, it was on my shopping cart at the local grocery store, in the natural food aisle. I had been using it as a calculator and thus had it on the cart. (I had $100 to spend so I had to keep close track. The bill came to $98.78, so I was mighty impressed with myself. But, I digress.) I was finishing up my shopping....only had to pick up some dog treats and I was home free. I suddenly remembered that I forgot the pizzas (remembered I forgot--that's kinda funny) and so I left the cart and the phone, shot down the frozen food aisle, grabbed the chemical-laden pizza and finished my adventure.

I never saw my phone again. Lost. As of this morning, no one had turned it in.

For the record, I DID take my Donuts Dunkin' Coffee with me when jogging to/from the pizza case. Why I would leave my phone but take my coffee with is beyond me. At least my coffee was safe.

The grocery peeps and those in line tried to find my phone but to no avail. We even called it and listened.....nothing.

I am not a cell phone fan. I love to text, hate to talk. I'm not big on phones in general, but talking on cell phones is way at the bottom of my list. I didn't think losing my phone would be problematic--in fact, I thought it might be a wee bit delightful.

I was wrong.

First of all, not being able to text has not been fun. My texting thumb has gone into shock. That was not so delightful. I also figured out that I do indeed use my cell phone a lot more than I had originally recognized. After only one cell-phone-less shift at work and two days of no texting, I decided that a new cell phone was in order.

I hate going to phone stores. You long time readers may recall my previous experience with Horizon, where I threatened to drive my car through their showroom window. It was with much dread I returned to the scene of that almost-crime.

Phones, like cars & computers, become obsolete the minute you leave the store. My long lost phone, only 1.5 years old, was a relic, no longer made, no longer in stock. So, I told the saleslady I wanted a simple phone that had the capacity to play music (I've lost my iPod, too--so, I used my phone as my MP3 player--don't ask about the iPod--it's here somewhere), text and make calls. That's it. Nothing fancy.

Imagine my surprise and disgust when they told me I would have to get Internet service for the phones I chose. I argued about this but lost that battle. (I have since gone on line to check the validity of this--and, I acquiesce--all the info out there does indeed confirm this issue. Another part of the plot to screw you out of more money!) I took home the big brother of my long lost phone--I purchased a chocolate touch phone. (I leave the name chocolate un-capitalized because I refuse to give any free advertising for google searches). Here's what it looks like.

Trust me when I say I am a phone moron. I like to think of myself as a techno-geek, but this phone has given me quite the run for the money. It's not complicated--it's just that I'm that simple. The wife and Garden Grrrrl pressed all sorts of buttons with lightening speed, showing me the various features, assuring me of this and that--I'm just trying to figure out how to answer a call.

I'll let you know how my phone training goes. Heaven help me if I ever figure out how to use the Internet feature. That's gonna take awhile.

You know what I need? A 12 year old. They'd have me on this phone in no time.

I'm on my way to have the ol' lumpy armpit examined, so I should have plenty of time to play with el chocolate while in the waiting room.....if you call and I don't answer, don't worry--it just means I still haven't figured out how to answer your call.....

I'll say hi to Lumpy for all of you. Perhaps I'll have photos of my armpit and such......
**********************************************