Yesterday, I got a photo text from the wife, who was in the Cheddarlands visiting her mom. I almost drove off the road when I took a peek at the photo (sigh, yes I did answer my text while driving--don't tell Oprah--I really am trying to mend my ways), as it was a photo of her mom's ankle....complete with new tattoo. Yes, a tattoo. Yes, a brand new spankin' tattoo on a conservative, previously-anti-tattoo 69 year old grandmother.
Cheddarland Grandma ROCKS!
It's a small cross on the inside of the ankle, but it's not so small that I would EVER think it wimpy. I am so impressed I can barely stand it. That lady has come miles. I can't believe it. First, she accepts her daughter. Then, she kinda-sorta accepts me. Then, she gets a tattoo! What could be next? If she gets a girl friend, votes Democratic or says she has changed her mind and now likes Michelle Obama, I am so outta here.
Side note: This photo of a 90 year old grandma sporting her new Pittsburg Steelers tattoo is obviously NOT the wife's mom (she'd have a Green Bay G tattoo), but rather someone else's grandma, as displayed on http://deadspin.com. I just liked the idea of having an actual photo of a tattooed grandma to go with the story.
I know my Wild Mama would rock a tattoo. Maybe for her next birthday (which is on my license plate, which is now on my car, which rocks almost as much as a grandma with a tattoo) I can buy her a tattoo for her gift. I do believe she has previously mentioned a small butterfly on her shoulder......
The wife's take on this? She finds it hysterical. "How many families do you know where the 69 year old mom is the first in the entire family to get a tattoo?"
For those of you who are ALWAYS saying, "yeah, but what about when you are 80 years old?" I point to tattooed grandmas and say, "yeah, what about it?"
While the wife was busy staring at her mom's new tattoo, I was busy playing Secret Agent Housewife. I told the wife that I would be having all sorts of fun while
she was gone (which was true because I had a lunch date with dear friend Gryffendor and had plans to attend a college event later in the day), throwing her off my "scent." As soon as she got out the door and as soon as I got off Book de la Face, I went into action. Fun would have to wait--I had plans. I heard the garage door shut....Operation Secret Housewife went into full mode. I thought it would be a great surprise for her to come home and find all the "chores" she does on during the weekend had been completed.For those of you who have been reading this blog for a few years, you know that I have some housewife-ish talents, as demonstrated during the Operation Housewife after the wife's hysterectomy (of which I am sure she wishes I would not speak). It's not that I don't want to help her. It's just that she gets it all done before I finish my morning cup of Dunkin D coffee and complete my wait to poop. (Don't ask. Trust me. You don't want me cleaning when I am supposed to be sitting and waiting to poop.) There is no waiting for me--she just busts a move and does it.
She's a busy girl, that wife of mine. Weekends include things like washing the floors (by hand--I don't understand this! why not get a mop?!!) and dusting various parts of the house. She really wanted the dogs to get a bath this weekend and was not happy they didn't get one before she departed for the Cheddarlands. So, while she was on her way to see her parents, I ran to the store, got some groceries. I gave the dogs a bath. I vacuumed the house. I dusted this and that. I washed the damn floors by hand. I cleaned the bathrooms, including the toilets. I would have done the wash had there been there enough.
I do not expect any accolades, as I did nothing special besides give the wife a surprise. I took photos because I thought it would be really funny to post on Book de la Face (which turned out to be quite funny, indeed). Although I hate to admit it, I know how to do all these chores and would gladly do most of them on a regular basis. I do the vacuuming and grocery shopping, so I'm not that far from housewife glory. A nice surprise, a good laugh, better smelling dogs....nothing more. (Of course, I would want to do housework in my own time and on my own schedule, which would not be on the wife's schedule, which would thus not work out. Ah, the joys of two exact opposites being in a relationship.)
I'm not sure which was more surprising to the wife: that her mom got a tattoo or that she came home to clean dogs and a clean house. Either way, I don't think she was as surprised as the rest of her family is gonna be when they see their mom sporting a tattoo....
Leviticus 19:28, anyone?
********************************************************************
No comments:
Post a Comment