Appliances-a-Go-Go

The new appliances arrived yesterday, quite to the wife's delight. Beautiful, new, shiny, flawless, all in working order. I've posted some before and after photos for your viewing pleasure. The wife had been very nervous while waiting for the delivery, as she was concerned the frig would not fit in the space allotted. Turns out she had good reason to worry....but, in the long run, that puppy squeezed in there and all was well in the world.

Now, I know nothing about appliances so I don't have much to say about the actual pieces of machinery that will be of any help to those of you who are looking into a new stove or microwave. I can't even tell you what kind of appliances they are (although several of you recognized them from photos posted on Book de la Face). Here's what I can tell you:

(1) I will be wearing mittens when opening the frig or freezer, as there is NO way I can open or shut the doors without getting finger prints all over the stainless steel. I tried using my sweatshirt sleeve but that doesn't seem to be cutting it. I have some new puffy light blue mittens that will be perfect for opening the frig door. (Lest you think I'm kidding, I'll have to post a photo.) Those stainless steel doors are like magnets to my fingerprints. I don't know how people with kids stand it.

(2) I am very confused as to why the controls for the dishwasher are on the INSIDE of the door and am afraid to ask what I am supposed to do if for some reason I want to interrupt the cycle. I mean, do I just rip the door open and the thing will stop washing? Is it a "too bad, so sad" kind of ordeal? How do I know how long the cycle has before it is done? What if I decide I don't want to heat dry the dishes? Just another reason for me to let the wife run the dishwasher.

(3) There is a metal rack in the microwave. I thought metal in that type of machine was uber-taboo, as in "you'll blow the house up if you put metal in the microwave." I am terrified that we are going to explode. Have the microwave rules changed in the past 15 years? Why didn't someone tell me? Does this mean I can stop worrying about the staples in the take out boxes?

(4) Freckles does not like the new oven's timer beeper thing any better than she liked that last oven's timer beeper thing. She is terrified of that thing. I think over the years she learned to associate the oven's alarm with the pending event of the smoke alarms going off. Unfortunately for her, this oven had all sorts of bells and beeps going off when we were testing it out. She was shaking so hard she was blurry. Thankfully, we don't bake very often....

(5) I don't know where the broiler is. What kind of oven doesn't have a broiler? How am I supposed to make my "soy cheese on a pita" melts without a broiler? Is there a secret broiler that I don't know about? Is the broiler passe? Should I just stick to the George Forman Grill and call it a day?

As for the actual arrival and installation of the appliances, everything was going swimmingly....Delivery was on time. Removal of old appliances went without a hitch. Delivery men were polite and courteous. The microwave was installed quickly and easily. Everything fit in the appropriate places. The frig dispensed nice, cold, fresh, clean water. The chocolate chip cookies turned out perfectly. The inside of the dishwasher was indeed stainless steel. The ice maker was spitting out ice like there was no tomorrow....

....and, then...the refrigerator piddled on the kitchen floor.

Water was coming out from under the frig. As you can imagine, this just about freaked out the poor wife. How could her new frig be peeing on the floor? She hung in there, though. Turns out it was just a minor problem that was easily corrected by a ten minute visit from the appliance guy. No more peeing on the tile....

Well, at least not by the refrigerator.