Ahoy, Matey! Is that a Pirate by the Copy Machine?


I've been snookered! Hustled! Fooled!

Many, I hate when that happens. I consider myself a savvy consumer.....

Although I do not write about the place of which I work, I cannot pass up the chance to talk about
"Toner Pirates." I want the world to be on the look out for these very naughty scammers.

We were out of toner for the copier, so I called our Office manager, as she is in charge of such things. As we were also having problems with the copier, she set up a visit from the fabulous copy machine technician as well as put in an order for toner.

Later that day, I get a call from the Copier Company. The guy asks for me by name, then confirms I just ordered toner. As I have just done that, I agree that I have ordered toner. He confirms the model of the machine--I don't tell him, he tells me what copier I have--he is correct, so I confirm this. He asks if he can ship out the toner; of course I agree. For crying out loud, I just asked for toner, didn't I? He tells me my address--he is right. I am assured my toner is being sent out as ordered.

I go back to my work and think nothing more of this.

Later that day, I see Mr. Copy Man but pay no attention to him. He fixes the machine and leaves. I don't ask him any questions, don't see any boxes, don't think anything about it. I'm just happy the machine works.

A day or two later, the toner arrives. There is no invoice, but I don't think anything of it. I just unwrap the cartridge, remove the old cartridge, put in the new cartridge. Problem solved, world turns, work continues.

Today--ten days later--I go to my mailbox and find an bill. It's from some company I have never heard of.....it's for the toner. I take the bill to my office so I can type up a purchase order....I start the PO, look at the bill for the price.....

.....and see I just purchased a cartridge of copier toner for $459.00.

I re-read it, thinking the decimal must be misplaced....but, no it's $459.00. I find this to be really absurd, but I've never paid for toner before--the invoice has always gone directly to the Office Manager. This gets me thinking--hey, why DID I get this bill, anyways? I finish the PO and decide it's time to drive to the office and talk to the person who can answer the questions: Queen of the Office Supplies (QoOS).

I hand the PO and bill to QoOS, explain that I got it today and that I found it crazy that toner costs $459.00. She has this look on her face that suggests I have lost my mind and am no longer speaking English. Clear as day she says: "We don't pay for toner. It's part of our copier agreement."

Huh?

She takes a closer look at the bill. I explain that I got a call from the company on the same day she ordered the toner, that they knew what kind of machine I had, knew my mailing info and my name, knew that I had ordered toner. I do not understand any if this. QoOS grabs the phone and calls our copier company.

It is confirmed: I am the victim of Toner Pirates!!

Who the hell thinks of these things and how the hell did they know all that information? I have NEVER heard of a toner pirate until this very minute.

In case you think this is a random thing, be assured this is quite the elaborate scam and is not at all unusual. These guys are masters--the copier company assured us that it is quite the business racket: "....operated a classic "toner pirate" scheme, sometimes called "toner hustlers" or "toner phoners." Toner pirates call churches, charities, day-care centers, nursing homes and small businesses and use carefully worded scripts to trick victims into thinking the call is coming from the victim's regular office supply company". (http://www.iowa.gov/government/ag/consumer/press_releases/toner.html)

While standing there with QoOS, it hits me: not only have I been snookered, I have replaced a perfectly good cartridge with the $459 one.....I learn that the copier guy had replaced the toner when he was on site and left no trace....so, me not knowing this, thought he just fixed the copier and was waiting for the toner to be delivered as usual, figuring I'd change out the cartridge when it came in the mail.

Making things worse: even though this all transpired ten days ago, I hadn't thrown away any of the packaging or the toner cartridge.....until literally yesterday afternoon. Of course, the cleaning company came last night and removed the garbage...and, of course the garbage trucks came and emptied the dumpster by the time I figure this all out. A perfectly good toner cartridge gone with the wind.

For the record, those puppies are heavy. I didn't shake it or weigh it or anything. It's not like I replace copier cartridges every day. I wouldn't know if it was full or empty....

Thankfully, QoOS finds this all very humorous, as does my boss (of which I do not speak but since I am employed, I obviously have a boss and thus it's no surprise I have a boss). Seems they have both been snookered about office supplies in the past, too. Who knew there was such a big business about screwing companies through such simple schemes?

I don't want any of you getting scammed by such naughty people. We are all on the lookout for the credit card scams and on-line scams but who thinks of office supply scams? I am here to educate and save you beloved readers in the Addiverse! For more information, check out sites such as http://www.integratedofficesolutions.com/TonerPirates.html, who write:

"As in the days of the real pirates, the "Toner Pirate" many times pretends to be someone they are not. They will claim to be from "your normal supplier", "the warehouse that ships the toner for your supplier", and in some cases they will even use the name of the dealer where you purchased your equipment....Toner Pirates usually work in groups and may use a three call approach....The first call is innocuous enough to an unsuspecting individual, they call "to verify the make and model" of your copier/printer.....For those who have fallen prey, what they get is a big surprise. The price can be four to five times the normal price and in some instances the amount of toner in the cartridge is half what it is supposed to be."

Shiver me timbers! A pirate's life is not for me.


QoOS is sending the cartridge back and assures me we will not be charged for this. Don't ask; just know that it's covered and if anyone can rectify this situation, it's her. she's also going to follow through with legal avenues. Don't be messing with QoOS, damn pirates! You know not who you are messing with.

As for you, readers of the Addiverse--if a toner pirate or toner phoner fools you as they did me, I'll stand proudly next to you and even wear an eye patch and a parrot if it will make you feel any better. Just don't open the box and don't replace the full toner. Arrrg! *********************************************************