Implosion of the Cheddarlands

By the time most of you are reading this, Wisconsin will or will not have imploded....and, we will know the fate of the wife's sciatic readings of Green Bay football. Yes, today is the day that that evil, two-faced, no-good, traitorous man of no honor returns to the hallowed halls of Lambeau Field. In deference to the wife, I shall not speak his name but note that his number FOUR has been soiled by his cataclysmic decision to play for the most-hated, purple-covered, low-life rival.

I could have waited til after the game to write this blog, but waiting til the lands north of the Cheddar Curtain have faced their glory or doom seemed a bit dangerous--after all, we DO live quite close to the Wisconsin border and thus I must be prepared for anything.

The wife is shopping at Wally World right now--probably in a lame attempt to stay distracted from the game this afternoon. We'll also be going to church, where I know many people will vent/talk/fret/lament over this afternoon's scheduled happening. Her sciatica has flared up this morning, no doubt in response to the flair up of her Cheese-filled soul.

At this moment, it sucks to be a Packer fan. As they say in Apocalypse Now: "The horror, the horror!"

Packers fans, as you Addiverse readers know, are another breed. It's not just A game--it's THEIR game, THEIR team, THEIR field, THEIR life. They talk in "we" when speaking of the football team. They were completely devastated when Number Four left. They were completed blind-sided when Number Four joined ranks with the biggest rival. They took it completely and totally personally, the wife included.

Today is the day Number Four returns to the Mecca. How he will do remains to be seen. I am much more worried about the fans than the man. I am fearful that the wife's bulging disks may blow out all over the living room. I am terrified that the entire State of Wisconsin (save the upper northwest corner) will totally implode. Beer, brats, cheese will all be swallowed into the earth, never to be seen again.

As a Book de la Face friend says, "the state of Wisconsin will be closed between 3-6 PM." Indeed it will be. The issue is....

....will it open back up at 6 PM???