Oh my achin'........

Hear that sound?

No? Me neither.

That's the sound of the wife sleeping.

She hasn't slept in almost two days, so it is a wonderful sound, that silence. Music to my ears. Just small, cute snoring. I'm so relieved I could just cry.

This morning was the last straw for me. The wife had not slept all night. When I went in the room, I found her sobbing, shaking, hunched over, still unable to move, still unable to function. Her pain level was at a "9" and had been there for over 24 hours. She was not getting better. I could not let this go on.

As it is always helpful, I began our day screaming and yelling at her. I begged the wife to go to the doctor. Begged! Threatened! Shamed! I paced, fretting aloud the whole time. I had to go to work, but I couldn't leave her like this. I paced some more. In the meantime, she decides she has to send an email to her school so she can cancel class. The next thing I know, she is on the ground, on all fours, sobbing while trying to type an email.

It was unbearable. Her hysterectomy ain't got nothing on this pain.

She promised me she'd set up a doctor's appointment. I went to work after ensuring she had ice packs on her leg and her cell phone next to the bed. I knew she wouldn't sleep but hoped that the pain would subside just long enough for her to at least relax. I also knew I had to get work done before the big inspection. She texted me, assuring she had a 1:45 pm doctor appointment and a 4 pm chiropractor appointment.

We never made it to those appointments.

When I came home to pick her up for the doctor, she was still crying, still sobbing, still unable to move. I chastised myself for letting this go on for so long. We both thought it would subside but we were wrong. I muttered aloud that I would never let this happen again.

When I saw her try and get in the car, I thought my heart would literally break.

I had no idea how we were going to get from the car to the doctor's office. I had no idea of anything. I just drove. Unfortunately, the bumps in the road were sheer agony for the wife. She screamed and tried to move around. That's when I decided we weren't going to the doctor--we were going to the emergency room.

Words of wisdom: do NOT go to the emergency room during swine flu hysteria. It's busy, it's full of sick people, it's slow because they have to super-sterilize the rooms, it's just not fun. You'd think the wife would've gotten in faster, seeing as she was crying in the waiting room and was bent over a chair....but, no. She got to be miserable for almost an hour. We watched masked-flu-filled people wander in and out while the wife got to be in agony. Here's a lady who obviously can't sit down, stand, walk. If it had been heart attacks and appendicitis knocking her down the list, that would be one thing. But, to be put on hold for a bunch of flu-filled folks, I was not amused. To distract her, I was a big help: I spent my time telling her every 10 seconds not to touch anything. "Don't touch your face!" was my mantra. (Side note: earlier in the day, the doctor's office tried to talk her out of coming, as they suggested anyone "not sick" with the flu not come to the office. Great. Here I am taking her to an ER full of swine-filled-contestants....)

Suffice it to say, the doctor diagnosed an unidentified bulging disk and a full scale episode of sciatica from hell. Two luscious shots--one for each butt cheek--and two prescriptions later, the wife was able to gingerly put her clothes back on. Although she was still in pain (at a "6"), she was able to tolerate the pain. I got her home and she moaned as she got into bed.

That's when the glorious sleep came her way.

I never thought I'd be so happy to see someone sleeping. I'm trying hard to stay quiet--I've turned off the cell phones, I'm typing as quietly as I can. In the meantime, I hear that cute little snoring sound and all is good.

As the injections aren't going to cure anything, we are still open to any and all suggestions. Physical Therapy, energy work, acupuncture, heavy drinking, stretching, medication, shopping, exorcisms....you name it, we'll try it. Just don't mention a chiropractor. I do believe my beloved lady chiropractor is history in the wife's world....and, I don't blame her. With a bulging disk, one wants to run quickly away from anyone or thing that is making the bulging disk pissed.

(This means I get MBLC all to myself again....but, as the wife has reminded me, this is not about me. Just a thought I had.....hmmm.)

I'm not afraid to ask: I'd love for you to send Good thoughts, warm wishes, healing vibes, words of wisdom to the wife. She can use all the help she can get. Just don't call on the phone right now. Anyone who wakes her up will be faced with the wrath of Addi Warrior Princess.....

....and, since I'm sleep deprived and haven't had any chocolate yet today, you SO do NOT want to mess with that.
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