Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You are

I dedicate this blog entry to all the judgmental Christians I work with day in and day out. May I suggest you focus on your own 50% or more divorce rate, your wearing of mixed fabric clothing, and un-piercing your pierced ears instead of worrying about my queer-assed soul. Please spend your time and energy praying for the end of Swine Flu instead of the saving of all those sin-filled gay people you fear are taking over the world.


Today, October 11, 2009, is "National Coming Out Day." Don your rainbow flags and boas! This annual international celebration, as "created" in 1988, aims to raise awareness and give a "familiar face" of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning community. Yippee Skippee!

Who needs the Lambeau Leap when when we can have a day of gay people LEAPING out of closets?

In this day and age you would think a Coming Out day would no longer be needed for the "other-than-heterosexual" world--most of you beloved straight readers are probably like, "What's the big whoop? We love Ellen and some of our best friends are gay." Most of you couldn't care less if I'm gay or not. (What do you mean you didn't know I was gay? Ha ha!) Most of you just want to read stories about me stuffing myself through a window or enjoying a good mouse surgery saga. True, true....but, with hate crimes on the rise, states revoking anything related to gay this or that and continued hatred/judgmental behavior spewed forth by those "saved" by my pal Jesus, it seems to be something we still need to have around. I think my own place of which I do not speak (the place where I spend my weekdays during regular business hours) is proof positive that there are still plenty of those left who seem to think gay people are only those who are also identified as child molesters and serial killers.

Besides, National Coming Out Day gives me a day to come out.....as a potential Republican voter.

GASP!

Or, maybe it's time to come out as a member of Unity Church.

GASP SQUARED!

I am hoping Republican thing is just a passing phase. It's hard to admit to all my liberal friends that this might be more than a whim. I won't know for sure until I cast my next ballot but I am having leanings to the right in regards to funding-oriented issues. It's a choice, it's a lifestyle to be Republican.

This is so much worse than being gay (which does not appear to be a passing phase).

I really have joined the local Unity Church, so that coming out is valid. Of course, I was born a Catholic and now I'm hanging out with the Unity-ans, so there is no telling if I am Unity-staying material or not. For now, I'll come out as a member of the Unity Church and be proud of it.

Side note: If I EVER come out as a White Sox fan, just slap me as hard as you can and ban me from the Friendly Confines, because I will have certainly lost my mind. It is NOT a choice whether your are a Cubs or Sox fan--you are BORN that way.

National Coming Out Day gives me a vehicle to thank all of you straight allies for your support. I am so grateful to you. Thank you for being there, for accepting me, for loving me just the way I am. You are such a powerful force, whether you realize it or not. Gaywads like me aren't going to "get" anywhere without you. Thank you! I promise to invite you to any wedding we might have.

I have previously spent much time serving as the poster child of the local gay community (and, as a proud, loud wild-eyed Democrat, I might add). I often kidding that I was a "professional lesbian." I enjoyed participating in marches, parties, rallies; I was glad to speak at various events;I loved the chance to write whatever needed to be written. I didn't think twice about taking the wife to work events....once I was able to come out to my family, I was just who I was and I was fine with that.

So, how the hell did the closet suck me back in? Why aren't I doing a big gay dance at the place of which I do not speak? How did I personally revoke my professional lesbian status? Why did I start wearing straight girl shoes? (And, how did this Republican-tinged thinking start? Are the two potentially related?)

I got wimpy in my old age and let judgmental people get to me, that's how I ended up behind last year's sweaters. I think it was the surprise element of going to a new place of which I do not speak and finding it to be a climate of which I had never seen. Ever! I didn't know what to do. So, instead of being me, I retreated to the place I had not been in a billion years; a place I never planned on returning to. I gave up my power. I lost my pride. I gave up an integral part of who I am. I surrendered before even taking one step further. I let them get into my head and let them think I was less than who I was. I gave up my favorite shoes for them. I gave them one full year of my life and I am way too old for that.

There is only one thing to do: come out of the friggin' closet and get over it. Thus, I pledge to you that I will no longer do anything less than be myself at the place of which I do not speak. If I haven't earned their respect and loyalty by now, being in or out of the closet isn't going to hurt that. If they want to focus on my sins instead of the good person that I am, so be it. If they don't like that I bring my significant other to the next holiday party, I won't sit at their table. If they start leaving more Bible verses and Bible quotes and Bible cards in my office, I'll throw them away and release the power I have given to them. I will go out and buy new shoes and enjoy them because they are super comfortable and look awesome, heels be damned.

Boy, this is going to be fun! (And, so much cheaper than therapy.)

As for the Republican-flavored thinking, I'm pretty sure it IS just a phase. I'll outgrow it. I think a new pair of shoes will cure me. I've heard there are places you can go to change your political orientation. I'm sticking with the Unity-going-church members until I decide if I am Unity or not.

So, happy National Coming Out Day. As HRC says, "Whether you're lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or not, be proud of who you are and your support for LGBT equality this National Coming Out Day."

Stand back, cause here I come.
***********************************************************************