Operation Housewife: Second Verse, Same as the First

For those of you not familiar with "Operations Housewife," please check out the blogs in December 2008, such as http://addiwp.blogspot.com/2008/12/operation-housewife-sick-of-hearing.html

Second verse, same as the first....set of baby birds: FYI from the Addiverse: The bird by the front door spruced up her nest and a second set of baby birds are already peeking out from their humble abode. I had no idea birds did that--return to the same nest to lay more than one set of eggs in a season. Is this a great country or what? Mama bird has already swooped at my head several times. Scares the bird poop right out of me every time she does that. http://addiwp.blogspot.com/2009/05/inaugural-flight-every-year-local-wren.html

Second Second Verse: This verse of "Operation Housewife" is not technically the second verse, as it is not nearly as intense as the first verse. The wife is not incapacitated and thus the expectations are much lower. A visit to the family is not traumatic in any capacity when compared to the wife lying in a bed after the loss of a jumbo, favre-o-roid infested uterus. (BTW, don't think I'm getting away with anything. The wife is spying on me via Book de la Face, using her sister's FB account. How naughty is that?) It's much easier to complete Operation Housewife when faced with nothing but a few days of bachelorette-hood....

Here is a photo montage of what is going on this weekend:

(1) The stitches. This morning, I took the bandage off Freckles' leg so the wound could get some fresh air. I'm now thinking this might have been a bad idea, as she won't stop licking it. I've warned her repeatedly that a cone is in her future if she doesn't stop it. In an effort to help her, I went out this morning and purchased first aid supplies. If the licking doesn't stop, I'll play Girl Scout and wrap her back up. If that doesn't work, a cone may need to be employed. Don't think the Crabby Patty is gonna like that one bit but one must do what one must do. The stitches look mighty gnarly and there are more of them than I had envisioned. I am not sure how they de-claw a cat or how it looks when it's done, but if it looks like this, I'm thinking it sucks to be a cat.

(2) The counter tops. Thankfully, I have yet to scratch/mar/burn/soil the new counter tops. Knock on Meganite! That is probably because I still haven't gone near them. Using the sink is traumatic enough. I went out and bought coffee this A.M. because I don't want to deal with the fear of staining the white Corian sink. I have no idea how to really clean it beyond not using it. For those of you wondering what the hell Meganite is, it's anti-bacterial, durable, acrylic blob of stain-resistant material, a direct descendant of Corian. (Somehow, the sink is Corian and the counters are Meganite. Go figure. Doesn't matter to me--I'm not going near any of it.)

Side note: Shout out to MJagger and her ongoing kitchen remodeling. Your project motivated the wife to get these stinkin' counter tops. Keep the faith...but not the color of paint we originally picked out, eh?!!

(3) Cheese ball Neighbor's Dog. I am dog-sitting for Cheeseball neighbor. Those are supposed to look like cheese balls in the photo above. Hey, I tried--this is a budget production. Dog sitting is an easy enough job, as Cheeseball Neighbor's dog is terrified of our dogs and thus is quite meek and mild during our outings. She basically pees, poos, eats and hides. (Side note to Robbers and would-be thieves: don't even think about it. You stay away from Cheese ball neighbor. I am ALL over it!) We're gonna have a dog-fest tonight. I imagine lots of treats, television-watching and napping. Woo woo! (No cheese balls, tho.) Bet the wife's really jealous about missing that.

For those of you who can't remember why we refer to Cheeseball neighbor as such, finish this blog entry and then go tohttp://addiwp.blogspot.com/2007/01/great-cheese-ball-invasion-of-2007-for.html Don't go there now--you keep on reading!

(4) The garden. I had planned on weeding for hours and hours today, but it's raining cats and dogs, so I am stuck inside. The weeds will have to wait. The gardens are looking quite beautiful. Everything is so colorful and alive. Unfortunately, all this rain has given the weeds plenty of fuel to grow big and strong. I'm gonna be out there a lonnnnng time once it dries up a bit.

Beyond that, I plan on vacuuming, washing a load of laundry, re-organizing the lazy Susan (what kind of name is that, anyways?), cleaning the water out of the Mold Mobile, yelling repeatedly at Freckles to stop licking her wound, watching a few Xena episodes (hey, it can't be all work), giving Lucy a bath (she threw up and reeks of vomit) and avoiding the counter tops. Yum!
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P.S. Chastity Bono is having a sex change operation. Who knew? That has nothing to do with this blog entry. I just wanted to say something in regards to that. So, I did. That is going to be one tough road, with the media being what it is, so I wanted to give her a shout out for good luck.

P.P.S. I have had a lot of requests about the new tattoo. It was tough to take a photo of it that looked halfway decent. It looked significantly distorted every time I tried to take the photo...and, when I finally did get a semi-decent shot, the image was backwards! That hurt my art major brain--take a photo with my camera phone and it shows up backwards. Huh? Come to think of it, the photo of me driving in my car (back a few blogs ago) is backwards, too. Oh well--I figured out a way to flip the photo. Even tho the photo looks like poo & distorts the tat, I've included it here. We'll see who can figure out what part of my body this tattoo is located, as I'm not telling. I know the wife would want me to write about why I have the word "gratitude" permanently inked into my skin, but I will save that for another day. Suffice it to say I am one grateful bitch.

P.P.P.S. There is a giant tattoo convention in Chicago next week. Anyone up for a road trip?
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