Ides of Marching Thoughts

I dedicate this blog post to Sandy-o-Rose, who knows not to knit and drink at the same time.

Words for the Ides of March: It's never a good sign when your Wal-mart cashier is crying.

This morning, while shopping at Wally World (I had to go there because I forgot my stupid debit card at home and the grocery store I usually use doesn't take credit cards), I had the pleasure of a crying cashier. I must have had my "I'm a counselor" look, because the more she talked, the more she cried. Oh dear.

The photo to the left has nothing to do with anything except my cousin sent it to me and it made me laugh. That's me selling girl scout cookies in 1974. I'm the one with the sweet barrette and happenin' beret.

For those of you wondering: the wife is indeed back in true form, despite being uterus-free. This week (it was her spring break), she washed all the windows in the house (both inside and out), waxed all three cars, installed new blinds, cleaned all the light fixtures & fans in the entire house, sealed all the grout in the whole abode (and, trust me, we have a LOT of grout--the kitchen, foyer, and bathrooms have real tile--I didn't even know you had to think about grout let alone seal grout), repaired a crack in the basement wall, purchased a new bed, fixed the slats under the bed after the Land of Slumber incorrectly installed them, graded all her piles of papers, finished the mid-term grades, took the dogs to the groomer and, as she says, "did countless loads of laundry."

Words of Wisdom from another nose-rleated accident yesterday: Never walk into a plate glass window while in public and while a paramedic is looking right at you. Sigh. I was at a church health fair (pushing flyers about my place of employment) and was on break....I went out in the foyer to call the wife and babble about something of no redeeming value. As I was waiting for her to pick up the phone, I was pacing a bit, looking down, listening to her message, when....

BAM!

I slammed right into a plate glass window. I mean slammed. Which part of me hit the glass first?

My nose, of course. Ow, ow, ow. (My brand new glasses also took part of the brunt but they were saved from certain doom by my large, Polish nose.)

For those of you who are skeptical, you can go see the giant, greasy nose print on the glass. I left it there for all to see. In fact, I encourage all to go see it and enjoy a good laugh.

Of course, I didn't miss a beat. I left the message on the wife's phone and went back to my booth. Unfortunately, I saw this paramedic just howling with laughter as I returned to the booth. He was talking to two other firemen and three policemen (one of which was MJagger's husband). As I figured he had just witnessed me bounce off the window, I walked up to him and said, "Man, that was stupid!"

He really did try to stop laughing but he was turning red, so I assured him it was indeed okay to laugh. I was the hit of their day, I am sure.

Last night, the wife and I went and saw "Slumdog Millionaire" last night. (My nose didn't prohibit me from having a fun night.) I had previously refused to go see it as I hate violence in a movie. I want a happy, warm-fuzzy movie. I agreed only after going on-line and finding spoilers which told me the entire movie AND after talking to MJagger, who assured me I'd be fine. I also got up and went to the bathroom as a scene approached that I wanted nothing to do with. It worked out swimmingly. I thought the movie was good, was glad I knew what was going to happen and I enjoyed eating a ridiculous amount of popcorn. I figure I earned it as my cholesterol is down to 202, which for me is awesome. (I refuse to take meds and am lowering it by diet, exercise, ;physillium husk and giant pills of Omega-3s...it's down from an all-time high of 275, so I'm mighty proud of myself and my efforts. Thank you, Leslie Sansone and Dean Ornish!)

Today, we are off for a walk....and, I'm sure the wife will have some horrible house-related tasks. Whatever happens, I can honestly say: At least I'm not at Wal-mart, crying at my register and my nose doesn't look too swollen.