Oh, My Prominentia Laryngea is Killing Me!

I was going to write about how I've been discharged from Housewife Hell, but you will have to wait....this will be worth the wait....

You Addiverse readers know that I've had lots of unusual injuries and issues along the way. I've written about the bizarre happenings, from hitting my head on a tampon machine to getting stitches in my eyebrow while my friends gave the doctor all sorts of suggestions. Today, however, may be the most unusual injury I have yet to incur.

I was moving a filing cabinet. A three drawer, very wide filing cabinet. A serious, heavy, office grade filing cabinet. Not the kind you have at home--no sissy filing cabinet here. I should probably not have been moving a file cabinet as it was very large and heavy and bulky. But, being the stubborn, impatient fool that I am, I wanted that file cabinet moved out of the receptionist office and into my office (at the job of which I do not speak) pronto. No waiting for some manly man to come along. No need for a dolly. I was armed with those little things you put under the corner of stuff you are trying to move and you then move it. An unsuspecting co-worker came along (she weighs about 12 pounds) and offered to help. After assuring her I did NOT need help, I put the little doo-hickies under the corners of the filing cabinet....

....well, three of them, anyways--I couldn't find the fourth one. I figured three were better than two....

and, I began to push while she started to pull (kind of--it's hard to pull a filing cabinet).

As I had my dress boots on (read: slippery bottoms, no grip), I had a hard time getting my footing, even tho I was on carpeting. I am trying to push, feet sliding all over the place and I'm not getting very far. I look kind of like Fred Flintstone--my feet are going a billion miles a minute but I'm not getting anywhere. I am on a very steep angle trying to push this thing. My forehead is by the filing cabinet top and my feet are waaaaay behind me doing the Flintstone thing--I finally get the thing to budge and we start sliding slowly and painfully across the carpeting, when suddenly.....

.....WOOF! One of the little doo-hickey falls out of place, the entire filing cabinet comes to a
screeching halt....and I, of course (inertia, physics, science-wise) keep moving.

Which leads me to my injury. As I kept moving while the cabinet stopped, I rammed my adam's apple right into the top corner of the filing cabinet. When I say it took my breath away, I am not kidding. And, when I say rammed, I am not kidding. Adam, Eve, the serpent, the whole garden of Eden flashed before my eyes.

Now, I don't know about you, but I do not know what to do when an adam apple is injured. It's not like I couldn't breath or anything, but I'm telling ya, it hurt. It hurt BAD. Seeing stars bad. Do you put ice on it? Do you rub it?

Those who know me know that I have a very large adam's apple to begin with. It's been there my whole life, so go ahead and stare--I already know it's big. Freakishly big. The good news about hitting my adam's apple is that my general neck area swelled, making the actual apple look smaller. Of course, I would much prefer not to have a swollen neck or bruised Adam's apple.

I've instruct the wife to call an ambulance if I suddenly grab my throat and look like I'm turning blue. In the mean time, I am going to eat ice cream. I figure that should cover my first aid needs. It will make everything in my throat feel good from the inside, it will make my soul feel good and I already can't wear my pants, so why not?

......and, yes, the filing cabinet got to where it was going, injury and all. I sucked it up and pretended to be just fine (but I was really miserable--don't tell anyone). You didn't think a crushed apple was going to stop me, did you???

You know, I'm not really sure I like the filing cabinet now that it's in my office......

....the hell if I'm gonna move it or say anything. Bring on the shovel, I need some ice cream!