Not so Rosy Nosy


Before I say anything else, I would like to note that it has finally happened: today, an ex-boy friend requested to be my friend on Book de la Face. I laughed out loud when I got that request. I haven't said "yes" yet but probably will--how can I pass up this opportunity for fun and sport??!!

I think I can trump my own adam's apple injury. Like, today.

I figure you can use a laugh.

I was under a desk trying to plug a lap top in at the work of which I do not speak. For some reason, I was squatting, not kneeling--probably because kneeling bothers my knee more than squatting does. I know--go figure. So, I'm squatting, almost in a fetal ball squat, knees almost touching my face, and I'm squished under this desk and I reeeeeeaaach, reeeeeach and reach to the plug, plug it in, back up a little bit, squat, back up and go to stand up.....

WHAM! I whack my head with force enough to knock most human beings unconscious.

This is not the bad or painful part, although whacking your head on the underside of a desk does indeed leave a lump and is not recommended.

The painful part is the part where the back lash from the whack, the part where my head--specifically, my nose--SLAMMED into my leg.

You may be having trouble envisioning this, as it really didn't make much sense to me, either and it was happening to me. Suffice it to say, in just a milli-second, the force of my nose slamming into my leg (which were only centimeters away from each other) rivaled the pain in my adam's apple when I ran into that no-longer-moving filing cabinet.

Go ahead, laugh. Picture my face bouncing off my leg.

My nose, already a large appendage, was still no match for my leg. I toppled over and flopped on my butt. Once again, in only a matter of days, I was seeing stars and unable to speak. This time, I had no witnesses, so my pride was in tact. It took me a second or two to figure out what had happened; once I did, I was glad to see no one was the wiser.

Right now, my entire face hurts. My teeth hurt. My nostrils hurt. I can't chew gum because even my philtrum hurts. I can't really tell if my nose is swollen or not but I am hoping it isn't. I asked the wife if it looks swollen to her but she wasn't able to tell....or, she is smart enough not to say, "Geez, your honker looks even bigger than it usually does. Can you even see around that thing?"

She did ask what I thought I'd injure tomorrow, though.

I'd laugh, but it makes my face her more than it already does, so forget it.