This and That Thursday

Today's triumphant house-hold virginal experience: sweeping the garage floor. Now, I have to say I see no point in doing this in the dead of winter (or, ever at all, I suppose), but the wife asked and I complied. I have to say I did not enjoy this experience; in fact, I rate it right up there with washing the floor on my hands and knees. I don't know why I found it so unappealing as it really wasn't labor intensive or time consuming...it was just a pain in the patooty. I'm sure I did not do half as a good a job as the wife does but hey, I'm a rookie--cut me a break.

Today's non-virginal experience: Returning to my Beloved Lady Chiropractor to address the issue of knee pain. She was yipping and yapping away, obviously had a great holiday, lots of funny stories. Who cares about your knee when your beloved Lady Chiropractor is talking non-stop to you? When she asked about the knee (which she eventually did), I confessed that as long as I don't do Jillian Michael's 30 day shred, I'm all good. That made her laugh. (I didn't mention the washing the floor on my hands and knees, as the wife says I only did that once and that could NOT be the source of my knee pain.) I get to go back in three weeks unless the pain intensifies. I think that should qualify for non-washing-the floor duties (unless I WANT to go back sooner than three weeks).

JILLIAN AGAIN...NATURALLY I did Jillian's 30 day shred three days in a row, realized how much it made my knee hurt, thought about doing it one last time.....and, instead went to bed and called it a week. Let's face it: my insides do not match my outsides. Meaning? Looking out from my brain out my little eyeballs, I think I'm still 30 years old. Looking in the mirror and feeling the knee pain and noticing that everything has gone south reminds me I am actually 46. Brutal, brutal, brutal. I don't think Jillian was made for 46 year olds, although I am sure she would disagree.

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of putting on one of my new business suits (yeah, one of the ones I purchased at the end of summer) didn't fit very well. Why? Because my hips and thighs have gone on strike and refuse to fit into those new pants. I squeezed myself in there and didn't bend down once as I knew I'd blow out the back of those trousers. The hell if I'm gonna let that suit go to waste....I am SO gonna go buy myself Spanx!

BOOK de la FACE FIFTY!!! Break out the champagne! I made my goal of fifty friends on Book de la Face. I had wanted to reach this goal by New Year's Day, so I am 7 days late, but I'm still so stoked I don't really care. Fifty friends! I would have had 51 but that Christian guy dumped me before I could dump him. I am proud to say that I know all of my friends and that I haven't slept with any of my Book de la Face friends.

Yet.

You remind me of.......... You know my job that must not be named? Well, my boss and I were chatting in his office chatting (not as much as me and my Beloved Lady Chiropractor were chatting this morning) and he says he FINALLY figured out who I remind him of: Ellen DeGeneres. This made me laugh out loud. He has no idea how right he is (no offense to Ellen). I have heard this comment repeatedly at this job that must not be named. (That's because all lesbians look alike, don't you know? And, none of us have last names, but that's a whole 'nother story.) He then quickly assured me this was a compliment (hello! I thought it was a great compliment.)

I did alert him that I am a better dancer than Ellen.

And, I am.

I end This and That Thursday adding only one last thing: the wife says I forgot to list "Wife Swap" and "The Real Housewives of Orange County" as reality shows she is digesting these days. How I forgot those two, I do not know............