Where ARE my undies?

This photo has nothing to do with anything except that it made me laugh and it's my FORE-ty sixth birthday week, so I can do as I please.

Where in the world is Addi Warrior Princess? Ending a job, starting a job, traveling to training, attending training, trying not to sneak out early from training, sitting in a hospital room with Father Taco Juan, driving back and forth to see Taco Juan, crying a tear in MJagger's beer, being on call, ad nauseum.

At this exact moment? Sitting using her parents computer, waiting for training, wondering where in the hell her undies are.

What do you mean, no undies? Well, she drove to training, went to training, went to her parents house, slept soundly, got up to get ready for training and to wave good luck to Taco Juan but when searching through the clothing, no underwear was to be found.

What's wrong with Taco Juan? Nothing that the removal of 18 inches of bowel can't cure.

Wait, what will Addi Warrior Princess do without undies? Going without underwear to a professional training seems like a bad idea and there is no time to go buy any undies and wearing dirty undies is out of the question, so this could pose as a problem. Now, don't laugh, but she keeps an extra pair in her car--for after those spontaneous work outs when she wants to feel fresh and pretty. Just so you know, there is an entire extra day's worth of clothes in her trunk--even a pair of shoes. She must have been a Boy Scout--"Be Prepared."

Is that normal? I think not but it sure comes in handy when you forget to bring your undies on a trip out of town.

What about tomorrow? HELLO! That's what Wal-mart is for. There will be brand new panties in the Addiverse.

What's the new job? Working with senior citizens in a day care setting. Big title, little paycheck, potential for big paycheck. Dress clothes. Trouser socks. Fiscal Viability.

What's the training? Addi Warrior Princess is learning all sorts of interesting things, like how many grains, veggies and cups of milk must be served during the day to the participating seniors.

You're kidding, right? No. Two grains, two veggies or one veggie, one fruit or two veggies, one milk, ad nauseum. The actual product doesn't matter--fat-filled processed food with no redeeming value is acceptable as long as it fits into the grain/veggie/fruit/milk pattern of being.

Does chocolate ice cream count as a food? No. It's not fluid milk, so it doesn't count. Neither does pudding, so don't ask.

Do the seniors have to wear undies? No, the food rules do not require undies.