Things You Probably Could Live Without, My Long, Lost Twin and Lost Underwear

Um, who ever thought of making a Spongebob rectal thermometer?
There seems something just plain wrong about this and it does nothing for Spongebob's reputation....

Ah, my long lost twin, Christian from Project Runway. Fierce!
I have had several people call, email and/or tell me my twin is on the show, so I had to check him out. I laughed and thought he seemed more like my twin sister than my twin brother but it really is quite the compliment as far as I'm concerned. By the way, he was the winner of Season Four on Project Runway and is he fabulous or what?!! (I didn't think there were other people on the planet who talk as fast as I do and this guy puts me to shame.) Actually, since I am old enough to be his mother, he must not be my twin but my little brother.....Wild mama, why didn't you tell me I have a little brother?

Here's something you could probably live without:
A photo of my wild mama's stitches! She took this picture by herself, so that's pretty amazing. Thank god she had clean ears for the photo or this could have been a very bad thing. Just a lump that had to go. Dang, nice bling, too. I'm hoping she'll let me take the stitches out on Easter Sunday. That sure beats looking for hidden easter eggs.

Finally, a story about MJagger's lost underwear.

Yesterday, I'm driving back to work after lunch and my phone rings. I notice it's MJagger's cell phone. I answer it and can barely hear her, as she is whispering in a rather hysterical manner.

She squeaks out: "I'VE LOST MY UNDERWEAR!"

I am not quite sure what the hell she is talking about and so I say, "What??!!" I mean, who calls to tell you they have lost their underwear?

MJagger whispers again in a frantic manner: "I've lost my underwear! I can't find it anywhere!"

I, of course, wonder where the hell she is that she can't find her underwear, but she answers this question before I can ask. She's still whispering, "I'm at the gynecologist and I can't find my underwear! It's not here! The doctor is waiting for me!"

I almost had to pull over because I was laughing so hard. I ask, "Have you checked your purse?"

MJagger confirms that she has checked her purse THREE times. (I'm not sure why I thought her undies might be in her purse, but it seemed like a logical thing to ask.) I ask if she has checked her pant leg and she confirms that she has done this several times. She sounds horrified and whispers, "What if it was stuck to my butt the entire time and I didn't know it and the doctor was looking at it and now it's still on the table?!"

I assure her this does not sound plausible but I'm still laughing so hard I can barely drive so I'm not sure she heard my comment. She has looked on the floor, in her pants, all around the little curtained area. She chokes out, "I can't go without underwear--you know what it's like after they do an exam! I'll goosh all over!"

Suddenly she states, "I HAVE TO GO!" and hangs up.

I wait a half hour and call her at the office, holding my nose so I sound nasal and pretend I'm the gyne office. "Hello, Mrs. MJagger? We've found some underwear at the office and we are wondering if you've lost your panties?"

She uses some choice words and then admits, thankfully, a third check of her pants found the undies tucked in the leg, hiding from her. "I just had to call someone!" she exclaims. I am very honored it was me she chose to call.

Talk about a good laugh. Nothing like a laugh to make your day. I guess I'll hang on to my undies the next time I go to the doctor....