Brett Favre for Christmas

Merry Christmas!!

Before I get to the story about how the wife got tickets to this weekend's Packers game as her Christmas present, let me wish you a happy holiday season, as posted by the HR department:

"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wished."

Merry Christmas, indeed!


....Last night we spent the evening with the wife's family. The festivities were, of course, held in the land of Cheddar, Green and Gold. I knew what the wife was getting for Christmas--a ticket to the weekend's Packer game. (You have no idea how perfect of gift this truly is.) I had to go along with this without accidentally spilling the beans and I am here to tell you--that was NO easy task. Tommy Hilfiger's wife (aka the sister-in-law, Mrs. Hilfiger) called and asked me to pretend she was asking about the wife's present (so I should answer accordingly) but added that she was really going to ask me about tickets to the Packers game for Christmas. Here's how the conversation went:

Mrs.H: "Addi, I'm getting (the wife) tickets to December 30th's Packer game. Is she free that day?"

Me: "Um...yes, blue and brown."

Mrs. H: "So you think she can go to the game?"

Me: "Well, yes, size large."

Mrs. H: "Ask her what color her coat is."

Me (to wife, sitting across the living room from me): "Hey, what color is your coat? Mrs. Hilfiger wants to know."

Wife: "Blue and grey." (There is no relevance to this question except to throw the wife off.)

Mrs. H: "Great! See you Christmas eve!"

Of course, now that I knew about the ticket and the Packer game, I had to figure out a way to make sure the wife did not make plans for that particular Sunday....so, I involved the ever-resourceful MJagger. I told the wife MJagger had invited us to a football party on December 30th, so save the date. MJagger went along with this, even telling the wife to bring nacho chips. We had the wife fooled! MJ and I used several opportunities to build the story. It worked like a charm and it saved me from blabbing as I had someone I could actually talk to about this blessed event.

In the meantime, I went to Wally world and got the wife a stack of those hand-warmer hot pocket thingies you crack and they warm you up. I got them for her pockets, her hands, her boots. She's gonna need 'em--she's going to the Frozen Tundra!

Fast Forward to Christmas Eve. The party is rockin,' wrapping paper flying everywhere, general melee of gifts avalanching down. Then, it's time for the wife to open her gift from Mrs. Hilfiger. I get the camera and get in position for the most candid shot. First box: A Packer ornament. Hmmm. Second box, a Packer Santa hat and a Packer scarf. Hmmmm. Third box....
Packer tickets!

Wait a minute--the wife is holding TWO tickets....

I look at Mrs. Hilfiger. I am SO going to the game, along with the wife, Mrs. Hilfiger and her daughter. I am making out like a bandit in this! (I hope the wife will share the hot pocket packets with me.)

The wife's brother chimes in: "I think Mrs. Hilfiger went over the $50.o0 gift limit!" That gets a chuckle out of the entire group. I'm still sitting there, thinking about how I am going to a Packer Game in the middle of winter. I'm not worrying about being cold--I'm worrying about how the hell you go to the bathroom with all those clothes on. I mean, you must have to plan ahead so you have time to strip your thirteen layers off....

As you can imagine, it was a very happy holiday party for the wife. (It was great for all of us adults... but for the wife it was the best, indeed.) The kids, however, were in "meltdown mode," as it is very hard to be on your best behavior for hours at a time, then shovel sugar down your throat, then get inundated with piles of presents and then demand more candy.

Here is a photo of a niece literally in meltdown mode:









Ah, to be a child at Christmas.....