Turkey Tumbling & Other T-day Giblets

What I am thankful for this year: Is there any question? I am super grateful that I got to meet Lucy Lawless. Shallow but true. Here I am weilding a sword from the Xena show. (That puppy was HEAVY.) Thank you, Universe and Argo Warrior Princess for making that dream come true. Ay-ai-ai-ai-ai!

I'm also gonna say I am grateful that I am "back" to owning a Honda, although I have to say back to "having" a Honda. I didn't own that first car--it was my parents' car but somehow I kidnapped it and it was never seen again. I owe them a car. Really. When I am rich and famous, the first thing I will do is buy them a Cadillac in honor of this theft.

Yesterday, this turkey tumbled right down the stairs as part of the Thanksgiving holiday. (The photo to the left is a turkey trying to fly, not me falling down the stairs, but it gives you the idea that turkeys do not fly very well and neither do I.) Thankfully (it IS Thanksgiving, so we must be thankful), we live in a tri-level, so a turkey tumble is pretty limited in nature. The wife, who was fast asleep on the couch, barely became conscious despite my ruckus. I mean, things were flying--two books went zipping through the air (one of them that YOU book I talked about a blog or two ago), the other a Melissa Good book. My slipper slipped....the wife was probably still exhausted from all that Shopping she did on Friday, so I have to give her a break. I'm hear to tell you that I am ESS-OH-ARE-EEEE. My little turkey wing was not meant to go backwards.

Remember that football injury from September 2006? (If not, you'll have to go back and read it. There is nothing like Jesus reffing a good game of flag football. http://addiwp.blogspot.com/2006/10/slugs-weird-fungi-flag-football-for.html) Well, I re-injured the same ankle when tumbling. No "Dancing with the Stars" for this tumbler. I also almost ripped my right arm out of its socket, as the only thing that wasn't airborne was my right hand which--for good or bad--was clinging on to the banister. I haven't decided if it would have been better had I not given the death grip to the thing but, in a twist on the infamous words of Dennis Green, "it was what we thought it was." (Never mind to you non-football watching fools.) I scared the dogs but otherwise, I don't think I scared the wife. She did offer to get me some ice once she woke up....

Speaking of the day of thanks, the wife's family once again put on quite the spread. Thankfully, the Green Bay Packers were victorious. Had they lost the game, it would have been one morose pile of wifely relations. The food is always stupendous--even this vegetarian has much to choose from on this poultry-laden day. I am all about the green beens and the "Death by Chocolate" brownie dessert. In fact, I snuck some of that home in a used Cool Whip container I found on the counter.

Those of you who know me and/or have been reading the blog know that the wife's family is VERY serious about this thankful thing. Every year, they go around and say what they are thankful for. As this is a large family, that takes time. As they each have a lot to say, it takes a longer time. As everyone is sobbing with joy & gratitude, it takes about a week. There is a lot of praising Jesus as part of the festivities and there is a lot of me avoiding having to take my "turn." I, by the way, am a big shallow chicken who every years mutters something stupid and then "passes." I am very thankful for many things--I'm just not ready to publicly announce my innermost feelings to a bunch of Packer Fans--er, I mean in-laws.

This year, brother Tommy Hilfiger took things to new heights. I'm used to the crying and the praising and the praying and the speeches, but I will never get used to Tommy handing out money, no matter what the occasion. This is the guy who just bought a Cadillac Escalade--cash--and surprised his parents last February with a brand new car. So, he reads his list of thanks (yes, this year he wrote it down) and then hands middle sister an envelope....with a check for $1000. Not for any particular reason, but because he can and because he is truly that generous & humble of a guy. He says a little something and then hands an envelope to his brother--you guessed it--another check for $1000. Tommy then turns to the wife and gives her an envelope. Is this the greatest Thanksgiving or what? I am so excited I am about to excrete urine through my urethra.

What to do with the money, wonders the wife as we are driving home....me, with my stolen brownie dessert in the backseat, driving the moldy Saturn; the wife in the passenger seat, gleefully fretting about the check. She DID just buy two new sets of tires and the check would cover the cost of that....but, how fun is that? Not very. I'm all for her paying for the tires but I can tell she is mulling over other options. I'll let you know what she decides......

The wife did indeed get up at 4:30 AM and join the masses in the annual day-after Thanksgiving shopping frenzy. Surprise--I stayed in bed. She seems to find great sport in this activity but I find no fun in it, so I stayed home and shopped on line while she fought for parking spaces, carts and actual gifts. She did seem to get some great bargains and got almost all of her shopping done. Me, too--although my gifts are somewhere between here and the Internet.

Finally: Ah, Young Love! Here's a big shout out to Suzuki DiFranco and her new side kick Cheesus Cheezer, young love in action. You go, girls!

We were very fortunate to share some time and dinner with Little Debbie Sneezeclumper & Phlange-a-slam's daughters this weekend, which always makes me very happy. Suzuki's sibling Coloradocello and her boyfriend ChefBronco were also there, which was nice as we had never met him. I think the highlight of the dinner (no offense to Coloradocello or Chefbronco) was meeting Suzuki's new gal pal and watching young love in action. As they currently live in Northampton, MA--the lesbian capitol of the world-- they are not used to not displaying affection in public. Um, let's just say the Thai restaurant patrons may never be the same--this old grandma kept staring at our table and just couldn't figure things out. (They don't know this as they were facing away from the patrons and toward us and the wall. It really was quite cute and humorous. Isn't this the 21st century, people??!!!)

Now, there was absolutely not one thing wrong with what they were doing--it's not like they were spawning or anything....It was actually quite refreshing and wonderful. It made me all warm and fuzzy and smiley. If Thai-going Grandma would have taken one milli-second to think about it, she would have been all warm and fuzzy, too. It's really too bad as there is nothing like young love to make you gag with glee. (That's a good thing.) I mean, What could ever be wrong with two people being totally smitten with each other?????

We had good conversation--about poop and gall bladder cleansing--as well as good food and fun everyday chatter about this and that. We wanted everyone to come over after dinner, but they had made plans to go play Wii with some Republicans, so they couldn't stay. (I'm serious about this--both the Wii part and the Republican part. They are better people than I, agreeing to such an event.) The dinner went way too quickly and I suddenly wished I had a Wii so they could compare Wii-ing with Democrats as opposed to Republicans. I'm sure we would Wii with the best of them.....I love those grrrlz and only wish we could see more of them. Perhaps a trip to the east coast is in order....and, the wife has never been to Colorado, so that could be two good trips to plan....

....hey, doesn't she have a spare $1000 to use for a trip????? :-)