Football Hell

Hell hath No fury like a Packer Fan who can't see the game cuz the game's being broadcast on the lame-o-pay- more-money-to-the-cable-company-NFL channel.....

...and, tonight is the big Packer game....on that stinky NFL channel....

(By the way, that's a Packer Bowling Ball. I put it here so my bowling family can take part of the Packer Fun, although I don't see a lot of people in the Chicago suburbs rolling these puppies down the lanes...)
If there is one thing I have learned after all these years of living with a Packer Backer, born and raised in the Cheddarlands of Wisconsin, is that you NEVER, EVER mess with their Packer Games. 

 It's like messing with a teacher's "Snow Day." Don't do it!

Don't plan dinner during a game.
Don't get in front of the TV during the game.
If the choice is free Packer Tickets or going to church, go to the game--you can always go to church later.
If there is a game, you plan your life around it.
The old joke is that if your wife dies and you have Packer tickets, you go to the game (even if it's during her visitation).
If a Packer game is on a Thursday night, you....

...wait a minute--a Thursday night?

Herein lies the problem. Thursday night games are the invention of cable companies and the NFL. Do I smell money-making racket here or what?

The poor wife. With tonight's HUGE game--Packers vs. Cowboys--I thought she'd give birth over how disgusted she was about this....we don't get the NFL channel--you have to pay extra for it. What a rip off. She's already paying like seven zillion dollars a month to have cable TV, digital, with internet service, and now she's talking about paying even more money so she can see the game at home.

The wife is not alone in her pain and misery. Packer fans across the town are lamenting this issue. At work (in the Land of Lincoln--there should be some law against this, but there is not--what are cheeseheads doing in our state, anyway?), people have been talking about not being able to see the game and about how it is going to suck to have to go to a smoky bar just to see the game. I hate smoke and I hate how late the game is and I need my beauty sleep and I am just not thrilled about the thought of this but I know the wife MUST see this game...

MJagger, proud subscriber to the NFL Channel, is willing to have her sister over but not the wife, as the wife is all about the Packers and MJagger is all about the Cowboys...and never the twain shall meet. It would be an ugly, ugly thing and I am NOT ready for that scene.

 "Tonight's Packers-Cowboys matchup is one game you don't want to miss. But depending on where you live, you probably will. And that stinks.

 As of now, the overwhelming majority of football fans won't be able to see the game because it's being broadcast on the NFL Network. There will be local over-the-air coverage in the home markets of the teams, which means Milwaukee, Green Bay and Dallas-Fort Worth. But fans in the rest of the country, including most parts of Wisconsin and Texas, will be in the dark unless they have sports bars or friends who get the NFL Network in the immediate vicinity.

Like so many other unfair things in life, this one comes down to money and the pursuit of it. The NFL Network and the big cable TV companies have been scrimmaging for years over the issue. In the losing column are the fans and viewers, the same people who, of course, ultimately help to pay the bills."

The wife had to make a decision--suck it up and pay the extra money to get the "Sports Package" from the cable company (the only way to get the NFL channel), go to a bar or miss the game. There was no way she was gonna choose to miss the game. That would be almost sacreligious....but, spending more money on the TV seemed ridiculous.....

She contacted me at work about it. I'm not stupid. I was all about getting the channel at home. I'm all about the wife being happy. I'm all about the wife watching the game in the peace and quite of her home, far from any Dallas fans.

"I'LL PAY THE EXTRA COST!" I shout out.

This decision and my monetary offering should win me big points plus it means I won't have to leave the house tonight. I can always go to bed while she watches the game. Of course, she'll have to sit in one room, as we only have digital cable on one TV. Another rip-off. Want more than one TV on digital? Pay more. Ugh! They've got us by the balls--the footballs, that is.

We've invited Master Reiki and Blue Eyes to come join the fun for the game. (Who the hell has the NFL channel besides MJagger? No one else I know.) So, if you are looking for someone who has the NFL channel, give us a call.

Just don't call tonight. NEVER mess with a Packer fan while the Packer game is on....

Pray for a green and gold victory!