Roll out the Barrel (You Fluff head)

In honor of the wife's birthday, Master Reiki, Blue Eyes & yours truly took the wife to a Milwaukee Brewer's game. Being a true Illinois-ian, I find Wisconsin to be a whole 'nother country. For instance, where else can you go to a ball game and (a) get offered a venison burger while tail-gaiting; (b) watch sausages race between innings; (c) sing "Roll out the Barrel" during the seventh inning stretch; and, (d) sit next to a drunken guy from La Crosse screaming "FLUFF HEAD!" while holding up a cardboard sign indicating the same thing????

Lest you think I'm kidding, I shall illustrate these points:


Before the game, there is this thing called tail-gaiting. (You can't tail-gate at a Cubs game because there is no parking lot.) Wisconsin folks take their tail-gaiting VERY seriously. Of course, being that 'flat landers' that we are, we didn't bring tail-gaiting materials (unless you count a bag of rainbow licorice and some pretzels as tail-gaiting items). No matter--the folks in Milwaukee are uber-friendly. The two people to our right of our parked car offered us some burgers--"We have ten burgers and there are only two of us." Master Reiki, sick of eating licorice, took the offer. Much to her surprise, she was now the proud owner of what I shall call a "Bambi Burger;" only in Wisconsin can someone offer you a hamburger and it's really a venison burger. Here she is putting some ketchup on her kill--er, catch of the day. (She said it was good but I noticed she was passing that thing around a lot.)


Here's my newest boyfriend, Mr. Fluff Head. He is from La Crosse, he was really drunk and he was very dedicated to his Fluff Head-ness. He was kind enough to explain that "Fluff Head" is a Phish song that the band hasn't played in over ten years and this is part of his crusade to get the band to once again place this reportedly awesome song. The guy was friggin' hilarious, although I admit I did get a terrific headache from all his screaming. He took time to show me that I was NOT high-fiving correctly and he explained his last name had a "E" not an "O" because he is Norwegian. Fluff head, indeed! (He came in VERY handy, as he scared the people in front of us away--it was much easier to see all the action on the field once they moved. Thanks, Fluff!) The older fans were not as amused by Mr. Fluff Head and even shooshed him a few times. I've never seen anyone shooshed at a sporting event before. No matter--he took it in great stride.



On to the racing sausages. Mr. Fluff Head wanted to bet on the sausages, so he pulled out a dollar bill and yelled, "WHO WANTS IN ON THE SAUSAGE RACE?" How could we pass up an offer like that? As there were five sausages and five of us, it was like the perfect storm. The wife picked the brat--she's the Wisconsin Cheesehead and it is her birthday, so she picked first--while Mr. Fluff Head demanded the Polish sausage. I went with the Italian sausage, leaving the Hot Dog and new Mexican Dog for Master Reiki and Blue Eyes. Interestingly, I learned that games on Sundays are a "relay race" where there are actually TWO sets of sausages. I thought it was rather confusing but everyone else seemed to be fine with the idea. TWO sets of running sausages! I am happy to say the Birthday Girl won the money. Mr. Fluff Head didn't seem too upset--as soon as the sausages were done running, Mr. Fluff went sprinting to the bathroom, not much unlike a running sausage....



Roll out the Barrel! Now, I am used to singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" with Harry Caray, so imagine my surprise when the crowd sang a rousing rendition of "Roll out the Barrel." Those Wisconsin-ites take beer, cheese, sausages and their sporting teams very seriously. I was so entertained that I took a photo of the scoreboard so all my friends in Illinois would actually believe this kind of thing happens just north of the border. Mr. Fluff Head turned to me at one point and asked, "why aren't you singing?" I had no real answer. He put his arm around me and we swayed back and forth like true Cheese Heads. I'm sure my wife was in heaven.

Speaking of the wife, she was walking through the pro shop and she bumped into her brother! (That's Mr. Tommy Hilfiger to those of you who are regular blog readers.) Imagine her surprise to learn her brother, niece, nephew and father were in attendance at the game. We stopped by and said hello to everyone. (Side note: The ushers in Wisconsin are much nicer than those in Chicago--they allowed us to go say "hi." In Chicago, they's bark out, "screw you" and point you away from anything not in your assigned section.) So, imagine her even BIGGER surprise when she ran into her OTHER brother, sister-in-law and nephew while walking back to her seat. It was a family affair. Mr. Fluff Head astutely noted: "Wow! It's not really that surprising that all of them would be at the same game--but it IS amazing that they ran into each other." I had to agree.One other thing I have to mention: where else can you watch fine young people be enlisted into the army while at the ball diamond? I couldn't believe it--but, here is proof that it happened. You can even say the oath along with the new recruits. Trust me--I didn't say the oath along with them. I did refrain myself from screaming "DON'T DO IT!" or other vulgarities toward the government so I consider that a victory of sorts. Mr. Fluff Head was late for the game, so he missed this "opportunity" to voice his MANY loud comments for the new recruits and the Army in general.

The day ended with a Brewer Victory and no problems getting out of the parking lot, so the wife's day was complete. Leaving anything in Chicago never goes smoothly and everyone is full of road rage. In Milwaukee, everyone is polite and considerate and no one is trying to kill each other while leaving the parking lot. The Cubs also won, so that was the only moment that was less than perfect for the wife, as a Cubs win means the Brewers are still a game out of first place. Maybe by the time the wife's "real" birthday gets here, the Brewers will be in first place and Mr. Fluff Head will have succeeded in getting his favorite Phish song broadcast across the nation.

Until then, Go Cubs! :-)