Pregnancy PUPPPS & One sick pup


Thank god Cheeseball neighbor finally had a party last night to match the caliber of parties gone by--we were starting to get worried that Cheeseball neighbor was falling fast into a sober funk. I hadn't planned on joining the festivities (I was on-call and thought it best to stay home and scrapbook at the kitchen table instead of staring at drunken card players), but the wife (who had indeed gone next door to the party) called to say Lawyer Grrrl was there and that she was one week from giving birth to her soon-to-be-baby daughter. As I am a huge Lawyer Grrrl fan, I stepped away from the scrapbook and meandered next door.


Lawyer Grrrl (aka LG) was plopped on the couch, feet up, looking very, very pregnant. She's been on bed rest for many a week due to problems with pre-eclampsia (now THERE'S something my sister can talk about!). While we were yipping about her pending birthing opportunities, she mentioned that she had PUPPPS. I didn't know what the hell that meant, so being the nosy bastard that I am, I inquired about the PUPPPS thing. In all my years on the planet, I have never heard of such a thing, but I'm here to tell you, that PUPPPS is NOT the way to go when pregnant.



According to Babycenter.com, "Up to 1 percent of pregnant women develop a condition characterized by itchy, red bumps and larger patches of a hive-like rash on their bellies. This is called pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy (PUPPP) or polymorphic eruption of pregnancy." (Wow, that sounds a lot like Pleurisy-ed Up pounds of Painful Poop.) "PUPPP usually begins in the third trimester and is more common among women carrying twins and those having their first baby. The eruptions usually show up first on the abdomen around or in stretch marks (if you have any) and may spread to your thighs, buttocks, and arms. PUPPP is harmless for you and your baby, but it can itch like crazy!"

LG showed me her belly--there was indeed a rash and it didn't look like it would be a lot of fun. (The photo shown here, unabashedly gleaned from medscape.com, is just an example of PUPPPS--it is NOT how LG's belly looked--but, I'm always up for a gross medical photo.) She agreed that the itching was painfully intense. She decided to focus on the birth of the baby next week as a means of "curing" the PUPPPS. I stood there thinking, "Man, this is gonna be one lonnnnnnnnnnng week." I am still amazed that I have never heard of this thing before. I pride myself on knowing all sorts of ridiculous medical nonsense and here is something I have literally never, ever heard of....guess I need to hang around more pregnant people.

I didn't stay long--a few minutes with LG and I was out the door. The wife wasn't far behind, as there were several students from her place of employment (quite to the wife's horror--what the heck where these youngsters doing next door?). Unfortunately, my own PUP (not PUPPP) Lucy was very sick indeed.

Lucy, Bark of Poteidaia, is having some type of gastrointestinal distress--of an unknown variety. Suffice it to say that her belly is making disgustingly loud noises, she vomited the most disgusting pile of puke I've seen in a long time and she looks absolutely miserable. In fact, she is so miserable she refused her treats last night and this morning. She turned her face up at cottage cheese (one of her favorite things in life) and she didn't come running when I opened the ice cream (which is by far her favorite thing in life). I could barely get her to lick the spoon with ice cream on it--this is very troubling to me--she has never passed up a chance at ice cream. In an effort to keep her close to the front door (and me and the dog out of the doghouse), I slept with her on the couch. I use the word "slept" lightly, as there was little sleeping on my part. I was so afraid she would shoot poop or spew vomit everywhere that I literally couldn't sleep. Instead, I held her and listened to her belly make sad, gurgling sounds. (Side note: I did think about using the time I was awake in the middle of the night as an opportunity to watch three Xena episodes, but I was so worried about Lucy that I actually passed on this activity. That should demonstrate how worried I am.)

This morning, she still looks morose. There isn't anything much more pitiful than a sick dog. We've racked our brains on what she could have gotten into to make her so sick. The only thing we've come up with is that I gave her an "anti-anxiety bone" yesterday (one of those pressed sticks that are supposed to be safe to eat & purportedly lower anxiety--not that Lucy had anxiety but I'm sure she does now). Maybe she didn't chew well. Maybe the bones were old and moldy. Maybe her insides didn't like the anti-anxiety thing. The good news is that she will be getting a McDonald's hamburger in a few minutes, as the wife has gone off to buy Lucy one. The bad news is that it is already after 11 AM, I haven't showered and we are supposed to be leaving at 11:45 AM to watch some football with Master Reiki and Blue Eyes. My job is to make the rice, which I am about to do.....

Here's hoping that rice and McDonald's will cure Lucy. Now, if it were only so simple for the PUPPPS--I hear the only cure for that is giving birth....I don't think eating a McDonald's hamburger will do a thing for LG.....