Crikey! Whiny MENSA Grrl still not Lisa Rinna

(Godspeed there, Steve Irwin. Who couldn't love the Crocodile Hunter?)
Since my mother told me she’s tired of hearing about my bodily functions (my thought is that we should ALL talk more about our bodily functions—the world would be a much better place) and the wife told me I’m boring (I like to think I’m content, not boring) and my co-worker said I was whiny (uh, well that’s true, but it's cheaper than therapy), I thought I best to get back to writing about fun things like working with the mentally ill, owning dogs and making fun of co-workers…
but, I got distracted by this MENSA test ol’ Einsteina Vagina emailed me and I haven’t been able to do anything since then, as I became obsessed with obtaining GENIUS status.
Part of the problem for me is that spelling counts—misspell a word and the entire answer is wrong. I admit I had to use the Internet dictionary on a few words—it took me several shots to finally spell “Fahrenheit” correctly. I didn’t give up until an hour later I finally crossed into the genius scoring & thus became a master of my own universe—an esteemed MENSA genius--a Nerd of unknown proportions. (Had I any coffee this AM, god only knows what my score might have been.) You should try the quiz, too—but, I couldn’t get the link to link (hence, I must be of lower genius status—a true genius could have gotten the test to link here). I’ll have to email it to you. Damn you, Einsteina!

So, while walking the dogs this morning, I contemplated the possibilities of blogdom that didn’t involve poop (mine or others’), menstruation, belly buttons, chin hairs and/or Madonna. This is almost as hard as that MENSA test. I have so many funny stories from work but many of them are “too recent” and thus inappropriate for general publication (I do have some ethics & like to keep my licensure, so the more recent stories have to wait). I have awesome hair stories (just saw my hair lady Harry lady this week, god love her), but I still don’t look like Lisa Rinna, so what's the point? (I CAN do this move at home, you know. Me and the wife strike this pose at least once a week. Thank you , McYoga! I do NOT, however, wear a dress like that.)
But, then I didn't feel so funny after thinking about the Crocodile Hunter being killed this week (I was dressed as Steve Irwin one Halloween, so you know he was one of my favorites--I couldn't let his passing go without mention), our rain-starved town was flooded—literally—with more rain than any basement or sewer system could handle (we’re thinking of you Janelle, Chip & Leslie!), and it’s the 9/11 anniversary. Sigh. Bodily functions are beginning to sound perky in comparison to all of this.....are you SURE you wouldn't rather hear about poop? (I do have a good toilet story from yesterday at work, but I'll keep it to myself for the moment.)

Anyways, I thought I'd take a moment to be serious. After all, I can still tell you where I was and who I was with when the 9/11 attack happened. (Can't we all?) So, here are the lyrics to Darryl Worley's song, "Have You Forgotten?" in honor of that day. He sang this at the recent concert I went to a week ago, so it's seems even more appropriate. I'm not usually the flag-waving-Toby-Keith-yipping-war-supporting-patriot, but there's a time for everything. Thanks for indulging my patriotic moment. I promise to be funny and less whiny next entry.....

Darryl Worley/Wynn Varble)

I hear people saying we don't need this war
I say there's some things worth fighting for
What about our freedom and this piece of ground
We didn't get to keep 'em by backing down
They say we don't realize the mess we're getting in
Before you start your preaching let me ask you this my friend
Have you forgotten how it felt that day?
To see your homeland under fire
And her people blown away
Have you forgotten when those towers fell?
We had neighbors still inside going thru a living hell
And you say we shouldn't worry 'bout bin Laden
Have you forgotten?
They took all the footage off my T.V.
Said it's too disturbing for you and me
It'll just breed anger that's what the experts say
If it was up to me I'd show it everyday
Some say this country's just out looking for a fight
After 9/11 man I'd have to say that's right
I've been there with the soldiers
Who've gone away to war
And you can bet that they remember
Just what they're fighting for
Have you forgotten all the people killed?
Some went down like heros in that Pennsylvania field
Have you forgotten about our Pentagon?
All the loved ones that we lost and those left to carry on
Don't you tell me not to worry about bin Laden
Have you forgotten?