And now, for some commerical messages

If Jerry Lewis can be on TV for 72 hours this weekend, I should be allowed one or two commerical messages. Besides, it's my blog and it would probably be a nice break from the whiny bodily function stories...why, look! There's one of my illustrations for a friend's volleyball book! I feel a commerical coming on....

...well, before I get to the commerical messages, let me say this: Peri-not-so-merry pal and I are on dueling menstrual cycles, which in my estimation is impossible as we are not related, don't work in the same building, we don't hang out, our hormones barely cross paths besides once a week in a conference rooms...yet, we are on the new six week-three-week-three week cycle, right down to the hour. What does this mean (besides that it sucks to be us and we are NO FUN to be around)? You may wonder how I know that Peri Mary and I are dueling--well, duh! We call each other. Don't you call your co-workers when you get your period?

Have any of you purchased a mini horse yet? (See most recent previous blog) Einsteina Vagina expressed interest only if the mini horses could jump off her pier into Lake Velveeta. (Her dogs can do it; why not mini horses?) The minis would also have to be able to ride a pontoon boat or there would be no point in owning them.

Since I advertised for mini horses, it is only fair I give time to Dr. DeVries Volleyball book...the one I had the honor of illustrating. The more you buy, the more profits I stand to make, the more the world will be filled with important volleyball information AND the more my friend Dr. DeVries will will smile. I'm working toward an Olivia Cruise from my profits, so start spreading the word!!! I'll autograph any books and so will Dr. DeVries. If you know any volleyball coaches--any level, but especially those in the 6-12 grades--or, if you know people who have a hankering to learn more about the fun you can have while playing and coaching volleyball, go to www.drdevries.com and order a copy or ten. (Shameless advertising. I am SO about this! I only advertise things I know are good. This is good.)

And, if you know someone looking for a classy older home in the Rockford area (with original black and white checkered tile in the bathroom--a real find these days--and a terra cotta roof, for Pete's sake), check out this lovely home for sale at www.gambinorealtors.com (MLS 80415). Here's a photo of it. Pretty! The wife and I already have a house, but if you know someone in the suburbs looking to move here, tell them to click on the link and start writing out that down payment check.

Well, piss--since I'm already like a bad infomercial, I might as well ask if any of you wanna buy some Campbells soupr figurines or some spaghetti poodles. The wife's mom has me on an Ebay mission but there haven't been many bites. I"ll hand deliver them to you, if you are so moved to purchase these diddies. Hey, Christmas is just around the corner....

Good news that "Grey's Anatomy" resumes this week and that "Dancing with the Stars"
Season III is just around the corner. Who needs a life when you can stare at the boob tube? Besides, TV gives me a lot more to talk about than my uterus...

P.S. If Freckles doesn't stop peeing on the new carpeting, she too will be for sale....