Open wide and say, "AH!" Great news, chocolate lovers! Today, when I went to the dentist for my semi-annual cleaning, the hygienist actually had chocolate-latte-flavored tooth polish! That’s kind of weird—chocolate for cleaning your teeth. I give it two molars up. The aroma was delicious and the taste was pleasantly surprising. I already love going to the dentist (weird but true); this just added to my excitement. She had asked me if I cared what flavor polish she used; I shrugged and indicated not really. I then added, goofing around, "now, if you had chocolate flavor..." and stopped at that. She looked at me and said, "you know, I have some samples of choclate latte flavor. Do you want to try it?" Do I want to try it? Is the Pope Catholic? Of course I want to try it! Old tooth lady indicated she had never found any takers before me. I loved it and I know she was very entertained....maybe I can go back next week and get my teeth cleaned again.....I had asked the wife to go to dinner tonight but I may have to cancel. Why? Because tonight is the opening night of DANCING WITH THE STARS! WOOWOO! I can’t be going on hot dinner dates when my favorite show is about to resume for the season….perhaps some take-out will suffice…
Here's my gal, Sara Evans, getting ready to take the dance floor.
On the poop front, I just wanted to make sure to share the following blurb from “The Poop Report:”
POOPREPORT EMAIL EXCLUSIVE 9.11.2006---------------------------------by Catfish
(Taken from the Poopreport.com) "About ten years ago, a couple of buddies called me up wanting to go getsome wings and oysters at Hooters. We had some wings and a bunch of beer.We were all feeling no pain, so we decided to go to this cheesy dance clubnext door. After a few drinks, we ended up talking to some ladies. I hit itoff real well -- surprisingly well -- with one girl in particular. We did afew shots and danced and did a few shots... etc. And then she mentionedthat her apartment is right around the corner. We headed over there andstarted messing around.In retrospect, I was having so much fun, I was unaware of the turmoil in mybowels being precipitated by the wings, oysters, beer and Jager. We endedup going into her bedroom; I immediately notice of the burgundy satinsheets. Very nice.So we are messing around and she gets up and says that she is going to puton something more comfortable and for me to do the same. I quickly disrobeand, while I'm laying on the satin sheets, I suddenly have to fart. I seeno real harm in this, so I let it fly. Much to my utter horror, the fart isaccompanied by a coiler -- a long string of poop, coiled like a fecalslinky.I looked at the poop for a second in complete disbelief (although I waskind of laughing a bit, too). Not having any better ideas (and being quitedrunk), I scooped the sheets off the bed and threw them in her closet. Ithen grabbed all my clothes and ran out the door before she got out of thebathroom. I have never seen her again, nor that club, nor Hooters."
With all the rain we’ve been having (it didn’t rain for weeks and weeks; now, it won’t stop), the worms and slugs are out of control. The poor dogs get wormy-sluggy feet when walking…then, once back in the house, they lick their paws for the next seven hours. The slugs must have been jumping last night, cuz I looked down at my shoe when we got in the house and on my shoelace was this big, ugly, slimy slug. How it got there, I don’t want to know….the wife's response: "No wonder you've been sluggish." Ha ha.
The wife says my ears smell like antifreeze. I’m not joking about this. The past couple of nights she has been complaining that something in the bedroom smelled like antifreeze. I never smell it and I’ve got one good sniffer, so I thought she was having olfactory hallucinations. Suddenly, last night she blurts out, “IT’S YOUR EARS!” This startled me—the yelling, that is—and confused me—how do ears smell like antifreeze? I guess it must be time to clean the earwax……
Finally, MJagger and her sister Bon Jovi are desperately trying to get tickets to see Bon Jovi on the Oprah show next week. Put out good thoughts for them. I've got Grover on it--he loves music & I figure he must have some connections. You think I love Madonna? You should see these two when it comes to Bon Jovi. They make me look like I think Madonna is "all right." I'll keep you posted....and, like the band Bon Jovi says, "HAVE A NICE DAY!"
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