Laboring for Labor Day

Okay boys & girls, moms and dads. This may end up sounding more like "Welcome to the Whiney-verse" than the Addiverse, but do read on for fabulous bits and pieces of profound information.

First of all--are you looking to own two pretty ponies? Like real, live mini horses? My co-worker, who I shall now call Flicka, is selling her two mini horses. Please go to http://jminis.blogspot.com for info and PHOTOS. I promise you won't be disapp0inted, as they are really cute critters.

Secondly, a new "Poop Report" has come out. Copied directly from my poop email:
"For over three years, PoopReporters have been waiting for the second issueof The Journal of Ass Production. And now it's finally here.Professionally printed and book bound, the Journal of Ass Production #2 issixty pages that explore how humanity copes with its worst nightmare:feeling the urge to poop when there isn't a toilet to poop in.Now it's finally here -- almost. I am awaiting one more proof beforeputting in the final order with the printer. I expect them to arrive inthe second week of September. In the meantime, you can reserve a steamingcopy hot off the presses by preordering today -- and save $1 off the coverprice when you do!It's 60 pages of the finest literary poop humor the world has ever seen.Learn more, preorder, and save $1 -- visithttp://www.poopreport.com/Journal/index.html today!'

Next, I shall whine. I broke my glasses yesterday while providing counseling to some poor soul. I was rubbing my eyes (in empathy) when the client says, "Did something just fall off your face?" Sure enough, I had broken my trifocals right before my very eyes--literally. This, of course, pissed me off and counseling was SO over. I kicked her out so I could have a pity party. As I am so blind, I always carry a spare pair of glasses in my better-than-a-baggie purse.....but the spares I have are NOT trifocals...not even bifocals. I am here to tell you that I can no longer see without those extra parts to the lenses. I tried to type on my computer but things looked fuzzy. I couldn't read the tiny font of a document I had printed. I began to whine to co-workers around the building.

So I go home with my old-can't-see glasses, whine to the wife and eat copious amounts of chocolate in a mode of coping. Despite my whining and inability to see, the wife and I go to the James Ingram-Darryl Worley- SheDaisy concert as scheduled.

Okay, so we are old. SheDaisy didn't take the stage until 10:15 PM, on a "school night!" Right before they started their portion of the concert, I looked at the wife and whined about how tired I was. She looked right at me and said, "you wouldn't be complaining if this were a Madonna concert."

Ouch! Point taken.

(Photo of Madonna to remind me how much I love her and how much the wife is right...)

So, we made it until 11 PM and then I begged my way out of there. It was easier to convince the wife to do this as I thought it would be, as the sound system was having major problems and it was sucky to be sitting where we were sitting (the third row but in a bad no-speaker-cuz-it's-broken location).

This morning, I get up and bend over to say hello to the dogs....when out pops this giant fart from hell. Old, old, old! What the hell is this all about? Can't see without my trifocals, can't stay awake at night, farting when bending over. My god, someone get me a cane!

I'm done whining now. You readers are SO much cheaper than therapy. Now, don't just sit there--click on the http://jminis.blogspot.com link and buy a pony or two. Happy Labor Day!