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See what I did there? That title spells out mRNA. I crack myself up.

I received my second COVID vaccine three days ago. As I am older than not old, I imagined I would have less of a reaction to the second vaccine than those younger folks who be-bop in and out of my daily life. Knock on wood, I was thankfully correction in my assumption. While they fought fevers and felt like shit, I got a massively sore arm with no fever to be found. I did get a slight headache and I needed a nap or two, but really... I didn't miss a meal, I never felt awful and I certainly didn't get the idea that I was being tracked by the government. I suppose I can now worry about why my body didn't create a stronger response to the second vaccine but I don't have time for that. 

I'd be lying if I said fear didn't creep in before the second round. You hear stories about how sick someone got, how this or that... it gets into the nooks and crannies of your brain, hard to ignore, hard to forget. I wasn't sure about getting the second vaccine for reasons beyond the scope of this blog. Until the actual day and time of the second vaccine appointment, I didn't know what I was going to do.

Before I go on, I want to make it clear: It is NONE of my business if you do or don't get the vaccine. None. I will not judge people on the basis of their vaccine status. I know many people who have declined the opportunity. I wish them well. It's not my business. It's not good or bad. It is what it is. Besides, how do I know whose decision is correct, or even if there is a correct decision? It's guesstimated that only 50% of persons in the USA will get the vaccine. That itself suggests there is much to ponder. If you choose not to get vaccinated, great! If you choose to get vaccinated, great! Let's move on and talk about the Netflix series you're binging.

Duty to warn: I will judge what I construe to be conspiracy theorists, though. 

"I've done the research." You listened to Fox News. That's not research. 

"No, it was a YouTube video." Oh, so you did quality research. Thank god! Please tell me Ted Cruz didn't tweet that link from Cancun.

"No, I've done the research. I know TOO MUCH to get the vaccine." Dammit, Karen--were you perusing medical publications and scholarly research again? Wait--did you just say, "Mark of the Beast?" 

"It's a way for the Government to track you. You'll see." No. No, Karen. No one is tracking you with this vaccine. I should be so exciting that someone wants to track me. They can read my blog instead of wasting valuable resources to track me.

"It's population control. You'll see." That's a pretty shitty thing to think. I'm gonna be so pissed if this conspiracy theory is true, Karen. Is it God or the government wiping us out? I can never remember.

Let's just say I find it refreshing when someone wants to talk about the vaccine in what I deem a less-conspiracy-fueled manner:

"I'm concerned because it was developed too quickly." Ah, it's true--that it was fast. We can talk about having a world's worth of scientists with big money behind them and how things tend to get done when given tools and motivation. Score one for science! I give scientists bonus points for using existing mRNA knowledge, not starting from scratch. Yes, let's discuss this.

"I'm afraid it will alter my DNA." I know I don't really want to hear the letters D-N-A or R-N-A in things of which I'm experimentally, purposefully in my body. I hate to admit it, but all I can think of when I hear mRNA is Madonna's song MDMA, which in turn makes me happy. I'm not a scientist, so I can't talk about DNA or RNA or anything of the like, but I can talk about Madonna. Let's talk about Madonna.  

(For the record, I did Google "Madonna COVID Vaccine," but the only hits I got were corrected spelling from Madonna to Moderna. It IS a government plot!)

"I think it's going to be like the annual flu-shot." I wonder about that, too. Something for the future. I don't get the flu shot. So, should I get the COVID vaccine if it's not really not a vaccine? The flu shot isn't a vaccine, is it? Can we please talk about this? Refreshing!

"It doesn't cure COVID." No, it doesn't. So, what to do, what to do? The flu shot doesn't cure the flu. What do you think about this? What are the pros and cons?

You get the idea. Discourse = good. Conspiracy = eye roll.

When the time came, I got the vaccine. I suppose it was motivating to have the vaccine clinic right outside of my office door--and, I mean LITERALLY right outside my office door. It's not like I could ignore it if I wanted to and I couldn't leave my office without seeing the event. Thank you for making it easy, Universe.

There was barely time to sit down and it was already over. Vaccinated. Next! Within a few hours, my arm was sore but there was nothing else. I kept plugging along at work, per usual. By the time I went to bed, my arm was really sore; in fact, I couldn't lay on that side. A few Tylenol and I was good to go. I fell asleep without issue. 

Next thing I know, I wake up in a fright at 1:35 AM. I sit up, freaked out. I have no idea what's going on. Then, my brain kicks in:

Oh my god, am I sick?
Do I have a headache?
I think I have a headache. 
Is it my sinuses?
Is it hot in here? 
I think it's hot in here.
Wait--do I have a fever? 
Am I getting a fever?
Are these side effects?
Dammit, I'm having side effects.
My arm hurts. That's good.
Do I have a headache?
I think it's a headache.
I better get some ibuprofen.
Maybe I should stick with Tylenol.
Maybe I should try to go back to sleep.
No, I should get some medicine. 
I'm going to have to take ibuprofen.
The Tylenol is in the other bathroom.
Maybe I shouldn't get up.
It's good if I have side effects.
What if there aren't any side effects?
Maybe I want side effects?
It really IS hot in here.

I didn't get much sleep after that. What sleep I did manage was quite restless. 

Three days later, I am side-effect free. None of my body parts have morphed into anything strange. Well, externally. I don't know if my ovaries morphed into jelly beans. I don't seem to be transmitting any signals from any orifices. No one seems to be following me. 

What I don't know is if it's right or wrong or somewhere in between that I decided to get the vaccine, mostly because I don't think it's a right or wrong kind of thing. I know many people at work who didn't get the vaccine. I know many people who did. 

What I do know is that I'll keep washing my hands, wearing a mask, staying away from people when possible, washing my hands again and eating ice cream. I'll do what I can to keep myself safe and you safe. I don't even want to know if you do or don't get the vaccine unless you want me to know. I'll support you in your decision about the vaccine. I will employ a non-judgmental stance....

....unless.... 

Then, all bets are off.

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