Who?

I wrote this blog entry just about a week ago. Then, I stopped and didn't publish it. Why? Because it just seemed so mundane that I feared it would be skimmed over and that'd be that. I mean, what if you've never even heard of Doctor Who (frightening thought that that is)?

Now that I've prefaced this entry with such a disclaimer, don't glaze over on me or click on one of the ads until you've given this topic a chance. This really has nothing to do with anything besides my passion for all things Gallifrey-tainted. I promise I'll help you understand. Here--grab my hand and go with me!

I am desperately trying not to write about politics. Oh, how I want to write about politics. But, why bother? I'm not going to change anyone's opinion and besides, you can read about politics anywhere, including places you don't want to read or see politics. My babbling would serve little purpose besides making me feel better AND worse at the same time. So, Doctor Who or The Doctor (not Dr. Who) it is.

By the way, I'm using blue font as it's the color of the TARDIS. Just go with it.
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How do you explain Doctor Who? I had to figure this out quickly, as I asked a friend to go to a special screening of Season 12's first two episodes, which was being held at a local theater. I purchased two tickets to the special event and then invited someone who had never seen a single episode of Doctor Who. (Yes, I'm recruiting.)

The wife gave a resounding "HELL NO" when I asked if she would like to go to the screening. She's no fun. She also has a point. Doctor Who is complicated. After all, it's been on since the early 1960's. There are British and Scottish and other accents. It's based on a time-traveling alien and involves British humor. It has educational components, cheesy components, social commentary components and a willingness to make fun of itself. There are complicated story-lines, simple story-lines, inconsistent story-lines. It was designed as a children's show but it sure doesn't seem like a children's show to me.

Aliens. There are a lot of aliens. Heck, The Doctor is an alien. Lots and lots of aliens.

I love British humor and aliens. The wife, not so much. She watched a few minutes of one episodes and--seriously--commented, "is this a science fiction show?" That was the end of that.

In an effort to prepare my Doctor-Who-Virgin friend for the movie, I decided to make a list of things my friend would need to know before attending the screening with me. I would have practiced on the wife but, like I said, she didn't even know Doctor Who was a science fiction show, so that might not be the best victim on whom to practice. I rehearsed it in my brain, keeping the Virgin in mind:

Me: "The Doctor is a Time Lord, an alien race from the planet Gallifrey."

My Brain: Okay, that's a complicated first sentence. How on Earth is that going to help her? And, why are you saying The Doctor instead of Doctor Who?

Me: "I don't know where else to start. Maybe with something like, "The Doctor has two hearts and is able to regenerate, with this being the 13th regeneration. He's called The Doctor. They don't call him Doctor Who."

My Brain: Oh, that TOTALLY cleared things up. (Rolls eyes.)

Me: "The Doctor travels time and space in the TARDIS, which is a spaceship that looks like a blue police box and is bigger on the inside. It means Time and Relative Dimension in Space."

My Brain: Blank stare.

Me: "What?"

My Brain: A spaceship that looks like a police box.... relative dimension.... in Space. That's what.

Me: "Well, that's what it is. How else would you describe it?"

My Brain: Shrugs shoulders. 

Me: "He, or she in this case, travels time and space with companions. His companions are humans. Not love interests--friends. Well, one of them became a love interest. That's complicated, thought. I'll skip that. Although he's an alien, he is Earth's protect. You know, for an alien, he spends a lot of time in England. Huh."

My Brain: He....or she?

Me: "Yeah, the Doctor regenerates. This time around, he's a woman."

My Brain: Oh, your Doctor Who Virgin is gonna love that explanation. A regenerating alien who is now a woman but used to be a man, in a blue box, with companions.... in England.

Me "Well, it's true."

My Brain: Thank God you're not starting with anything complicated. (more eye rolling)

Me: "This Doctor is in her second season, which is the 12th season... well, of the new series. The Doctors regenerate every few seasons. Since 2005, there's been Doctors Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve and now Thirteen."

My Brain: Isn't she going to wonder about Doctors One through eight?

Me: "I don't have that kind of time. I'm keeping it simple."

My Brain: Oh yeah, skipping eight doctors sounds like something to skip. Don't worry about those first eight doctors.

Me: "Hmmm. Maybe she should watch an episode or two before we go? But, which ones? Something from last season? The first season? Send her article links? How do I explain that a Cyberman is basically a human who has been cannibalized and made into a robot? Oh, sonic screwdrivers. I can't forget that. But, the Master! I have to explain the Master!"
My Brain: I'm still stuck on how there is a guy who might be a girl who is an alien that spends the majority of time in England and you're talking about special screwdrivers and mastering something.

Me: (silence)

Me: "I can't really explain this, can I?"

My Brain: (silence)

Me: "Am I even close?"

My Brain: (shrugs)

Me: "I'm a little close?"

My Brain: I mean, if you're trying to explain that this is a nerdy show for nerdy people and that jumping in the pool of nerds makes sense, then you're close.

Me: "Maybe I'll get an article off the internet and email it to her."

My Brain: Maybe you should stick to going to Doctor Who movie theater specials by yourself.

Me: "Should I warn her I used closed-caption when watching the show on TV?"

My Brain: Maybe you should tell her WHY you use closed-caption. That's more important.

Me: "I use closed-caption because sometimes I can't tell what they're saying. I have trouble with the accents. Just sometime, though. Maybe it's my hearing. Probably a combination. Maybe I should use memes. Memes can explain a lot."

My Brain:  Lots of nerds out there, pinning Doctor Who Crap on Pinterest. Maybe Pinterest. 

Me: "YES! I have over 4,000 Doctor Who pins. One or two of them might help....."

My Brain: Skip the Pinterest idea. You're scaring me. You'll scare her. You have 4,000 Pins about an alien TV show? 

Me: "Well, I do love the pins. Keeps the kindred spirit feeling alive. Hmmm. Okay, I'll tell her Doctor Who is about being kind, about doing the right thing, about history, about friendship, about loss and love... and, that there is always hope...and, running. There is a lot of running."

My Brain: And, exactly where are we running to?

Me: "Usually away."

My Brain: Away from what?

Me: "Danger. Aliens. To save someone."

My Brain: An alien running away from an alien.

Me: "Yes! You're getting it now!"

My Brain: No, no I don't think so. I've glazed over. Will there be popcorn? I'd buy her popcorn if I were you.

Me:"You understand triumph over evil. Being kind even when it's hard. Never carrying a weapon. Never. Friendship. Loss. Love. Emphasis on loss and no weapons. Well, except a spoon."

My Brain: Better make that a large popcorn.
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In the end, I basically said little of anything to my Doctor Who Virgin friend. I gave her a wee bit of info on the Master (as I knew he'd be in the episode), told her I can't understand some of the actors the first time around and that the Doctor has three companions this season. She seemed to survive the event unscathed. Maybe confused but unscathed. I'm not sure my recruiting was successful but it was fun to attend the movie with a newbie.

When asked, she said she had much to think about. I think that was her way of politely saying, "What the hell was that?"

I still have hope for her. After all, she knows how to run.