Country-not-for-profit Mouse visits Corporate-City-Mouse

Last week, I was at a convention for the provider of our electronic health record. If that sounds boring to you, I shall now convince you otherwise. The conference was in Baltimore... which is a whole topic in itself. (Who knew Baltimore was south of the Mason-Dixon line? This Yankee thinks that explains a lot. Perhaps a topic for another day...) 

Actually, where a conference is held usually doesn't matter as you spend the entire time in hotel ballrooms that have been divvied up for conferencing purposes. But, in this case it matters, as we had to fly there and it's in a different time zone. Travel tends to be an energy vampire and screws up pooping schedules. (For the record, my pooping was just fine, thank you. That's because they fed us so well that my body was delightfully nourished, ensuring regularity at its finest.) Sleeping in a hotel for the week isn't exactly my favorite thing to do, as no matter how much I sleep, I don't feel fully rested. Flying left me dehydrated (no liquid intake of any kind before getting on a plane lest you have to use the lavatory). Packing is an art form--the weather, the setting, the suitcase limitation all have to be considered. It really is exhausting. 

How people travel for a living, I do not know.  

As I work in a field that does NOT have money to spend on swag for conferences--let alone have money to provide food more than pathetic boxed lunches and a breakfast selection of stale danishes and a few sad, gluten-tainted bagels--this conference wowed me beyond compare. The swag bag alone was worth the trip. Shallow, yes. But, I'm good with shallow for the swag they bestowed upon us.

The food was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. Full breakfasts, gourmet lunches, fancy snacks as needed, favorite beverages always within reach. Seriously--lunch included steak and perfectly-prepared asparagus. There was gluten-free/friendly food, vegetarian food, vegan food, nut-free choices. Snacks were far from being stale store-bought cookies. The whole thing... well, it was absurd. 

 

I'll tell you what was absurd--the reception they had for the attendees was absurd. The company rented a science museum--the entire three-story museum--which would have been more than enough for good story-telling. But, no, not enough. We walked in, only to find acrobats swinging from the ceiling....
A live band....
Open bar (yes, open bar)....
Food stations for days, of all varieties...
Chefs making sushi.... 

Guacamole made on the spot, just for me....
Blue lights pouring down upon us--their corporate color is blue. They had the lighting made to feature their corporate color. The lighting, for Pete's sake.

I felt like not-for-profit country mouse visiting the city corporate mouse. I'd be lying if I said it didn't cross my mind that I work in the "wrong" field. 

It's not good or bad, right or wrong. It's just foreign to me.The corporate mouse people shat money like there was no tomorrow. That's what they do. Impress the not-for-profit country mouse. Can't say that I'm complaining. In fact, I can't think of one negative thing to write. I learned a lot. I enjoyed everything. I networked. I met people who can help me. I got to put faces to names. I got to party with dinosaurs.

I texted a few photos to the wife while I was at the reception/party/debauchery. I forgot she didn't know I was at a science museum, so it was mighty funny when she texted back, 

"THEY BROUGHT IN A DINOSAUR FOR THE EVENT???!!!"

I'm still laughing about that.

Last blog I wrote about all the electronic devices in my life. Well, it couldn't have been more timely. EVERYONE at the conference was tied to their various electronic devices--the entire time. (I'm surprised chiropractors weren't standing by to offer their services--there must have been some necks in need of adjustment from all that hunched over, looking down at devices.) In my employment world, such behavior is frowned upon. Well, there was no frowning in this setting. Laptops, iPhones, Android phones, iPads, Chromebooks and every tablet imaginable were sucking up bandwidth like there was no tomorrow. I was in hog heaven, typing feverishly on my Chromebook while texting on my iPhone. 

I'd probably feel much differently if I could see the electric currents flowing around my head... more like bombarding my being. It can't be healthy in any capacity. I probably glow in the dark right now.

You might think such behavior disrespectful to the presenters. It didn't feel disrespectful at all. I could tell people were totally listening--multi-tasking made into an art. Again, I'm not saying it's good or bad. It just made sense in the setting.

All of the conference schedule and information was available via an app, which made a hell of a lot of sense, not only because it fit the setting but because it meant no more dragging all sorts of nonsense around. Who needs a bulky conference brochure when you can have everything at your fingertips? Whether I needed a map of the conference setting or a PowerPoint for a speaker's presentation, it was all there on my iPhone. So, people were taking notes, sending notes, checking data, downloading conference materials... and, yes some people were on Facebook and checking email. 

You didn't think it was 100% conference concentration, did you?

Lest you think there was no human social interaction beyond a party with dinosaurs, let me reassure you. There was lots of face-to-face time, hand-shaking, laughing. I'm not very excited with how the world is evolving into a "don't know how to have a live conversation" kind of place, so I think it's important to note that much face time was included. (It seemed genuine enough, but I'm smart enough to know that those salespeople were working hard to get more business and to keep us happy, happy, happy.) If there wasn't ample face time, what would be the point of going anywhere? It'd be much cheaper, easier and convenient to have on-line offerings. 

I've thankfully returned to my "real" life, of which I love much more than I could ever like a conference or travel. I missed the wife, the dogs, my bed, the normalcy. I missed just about everything there is to miss when not at home....

...And, that is the point of this blog. I really am a country not-for-profit mouse who loves being at home, surrounded by love and not just by WiFi waves. All the glitter and fluff and swag is just that--glitter and fluff and swag. It's nice but it's not life. Electronic devices are convenient, wonderful, useful. But, they aren't sincere or warm or loving. Being home is what it's all about. 

I will miss the food and I'm thankful for the knowledge gained but beyond that, there's no place like home.

Well, and dinosaurs. I'll miss the dinosaurs.

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