The Professor

Geez, this teaching gig is kicking my ass!

I can't remember if I told you this or not... I am teaching a class at the local university. Yes, you can call me "Professor." It's a wellness class, so it's not that much of a stretch. Wellness is basically what I try to teach the clients of whom I serve. I suppose you could say that I am well-versed on the various tenets of building/finding/maintaining a relatively healthy life.

I've always wanted to be a "professor" but I'm not by trade an educator nor do I have my doctoral degree. That has limited my ability to find such employment. I'm still not an educator, per se, but I am a professor. Crack.me.up.

God love you teachers. You are so underpaid and so unappreciated. I've always held teachers in high esteem but now I will probably bow at your feet whenever I approach you. Anyone who thinks teaching is easy and goes into teaching "to get summers off" should be slapped in the head as hard as humanly possible. I've seen how hard the wife works to ensure learning opportunities are a given for her students. I've seen the hours and hours she has put in "behind the scene." I know the money she spends on supplies (teachers know: budget for supplies? What budget for supplies?). Sincerely--god love you!

As for me, I (thankfully) have little idea of what is going on in the world as I spent the last week doing research on the topics of stress and sleep. (Can't say that I'm too broken up about missing story after story about The Cheetos antics.) Now, you know I could fake it with the best of them on the topics of stress and sleep but it seems that scholarly research is the best way to go when facing twenty-seven college-aged students. Besides, a newbie professor like me probably shouldn't just shoot shit in a most confident manner. (And, I CAN shoot the shit with much confidence. It's a major step in the right direction that I realize shooting the shit is not the best way to go when being professorly.) In an effort to be prepared, I read the book and did
research like there was no tomorrow. My eyes became blurry watching video after video. I made PowerPoint, re-made PowerPoint, watched PowerPoint, edited PowerPoint, practiced PowerPoint.  I looked for catchy little memes to enhance my PowerPoint.

Side note: I am not the biggest PowerPoint fan but they do give me a chance to show off my artistic flair and give the students something to look at instead of staring at me the whole time.

All this means what? It means no blogging, no binge watching Netflix, greatly decreased posts on social media and a whole lot of dreams about stress and sleep. It means sitting at the kitchen table hour after hour, preparing for professor-ness.

My current job as the agency trainer prepared me well for this journey. I stand in front of employees day after day, babbling as coherently as possible, ad nauseum. I'm used to technology fighting back when trying to do a presentation, so I'm well-versed at combating issues when using the college technology afforded to me. I can bellow out information in a loud voice for all to hear. I can stand hour after hour in front of some form of media-laden device.  I take attendance and document what has transpired.

I'm still no teacher but I can "educate" the training masses. It's important to note that I am NOT a teacher. That would be an insult to the teachers in my life and in the world. I am a trainer serving as a professor. I'm training people how to be well.

Last night's stress and sleep lesson went swimmingly. Or, at least I think they went swimmingly. I did have one nursing student glaring at me the whole time, so I'm not sure she thought it went swimmingly. I choose to believe she is bitter, party of one, that she is a senior nursing student who has to take a one-credit wellness class before she can graduate.

Don't worry, glaring nursing student, I saw you laugh by accident last night. I've got your number.

Good news is that no one fell asleep when I was talking about sleep. And, no one was texting during the lecture, so that is a bonus. I did see one guy look at his phone but he then immediately looked up and saw me giving him "the teacher look." I think he piddled on himself.

Today is a day of rest. I don't even really know what the next chapter's subject is. I can look at that tomorrow, when the research begins once again. For today, I will focus on being the trainer at work.

Professor. Professor of Wellness. Professor of the Addiverse. Today, wellness. Tomorrow, the world.
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