Really?

Pawn stars, duck callers, singers, dancers, survivors, screaming housewives, bigger than not brother, dating bachelors, wrestlers, tiaras on tots, bosses and celebrities......

This election has me all fired up for a variety of reasons. One of the things that has bothered my brain the most is that reality TV has made it deliciously possible to have a "reality" TV star run for president and have a much larger than not chance at success.


Now, I'm not saying that the man in question is the first reality TV star to reach for the stars and he is certainly not the first star to run for or become a President. (Case in point: Ronald Reagan. "Bedtime for Bonzo," anyone?) My issue is with reality TV itself. Although I find today's supposed-reality reality TV shows very entertaining, I have the ability to discern that they are not, in fact, reality.

Somehow viewer braincells have lost the ability to tell reality from not-reality. I personally enjoy not living in reality more days than not but I still can grasp the real from scripted, reality from hallucination, entertainment from the Hollywood tainted. Some days are tougher than not for me to figure reality out from non-reality, but I've got a pretty good batting average.

I have a very specific, judgmental definition about what Reality TV is/should be: It is unscripted, with non-celebrity types living real lives, being filmed during various real-life adventures in their mundane or not-so-mundane lives. I found this slide while Googling. It depicts my thought exactly. Dump the actors. Dump the script.

Today's Reality TV is not unscripted nor is it real life. It might have been a long time ago but today's reality TV is not reality at all. No offense, but I cannot wrap my head around how many people believe such shows are unscripted and/or feature unscripted, real life situations. I'm not judging-- I'm just scratching my head....this from a huge fan of MTV's Real World. (We're talking the first two or three seasons. Let's be clear.) That show changed a lot of things in my media-cluttered mind. How it morphed into the Kardashians, I do not know, but here we are.

Because people believe Reality TV is actuality Reality TV, I feel like we are staring into the Eye of Sauron. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be staring into the Eye of Sauron. It creeps me out, almost as a certain candidate's bad hairdo creeps me out.

I affirm that Reality TV (and 24 hour news programming) is to blame for the current presidential election nonsense. After all, one of the candidates has a show that is a huge it. I liked it. I watched it. But, it was nothing more than a TV show. Entertainment. Narcissistic distraction. Mindless humor. But, never presidential. (Being bombarded 24 hours a day by biased news has helped us none. It has dumbed us down and ruined actual reporting. That's for a whole 'nother blog.)

I suppose we could blame "Candid Camera" in the late 1940's for the reality TV, as that is where it all started. I'd bet dollars to donuts it wasn't officially scripted but I'm sure there was a pretty specific plan behind the show. There were other shows along the way but I think things morphed once "Survivor" (in something like 2000) came along. It started out so.... real. The first two seasons of "Survivor" were amazing. If it was a scripted show, I sure was not in the know. Those people looked miserable.  Now, "Survivor" is a blur of staged activities with known entities, not reality at all.  There is nothing wrong with the evolution of the show because it is great entertainment and it is very enjoyable for many reasons. It's just not reality TV. It's morphed into a game show, a known entity based on strategy, not survival. 

I suppose it says how warped I am that'd I prefer to see "normal life" people eating bugs and crying in the jungle. 

Since I'm full of opinions today, I shall assert the following: I think I should make my own reality TV show. I'd call it...  

"55 and Pregnant in the Addiverse."

Seriously. How could that NOT be a hit? I'm still shooting out eggs on a monthly basis. My uterus hasn't fallen out. I'm sure I could find some unsuspecting guy to share some sperm. I'm sure there is some Hollywood doctor who'd love the chance to be on television and thus would pump me up with hormones. I'd make sure it was unscripted. I'd let the cameras in from preparation to birth. I'd go to work. I'd eat cereal for dinner. I'd bicker with the wife. I'd pay bills and weed the lawn and drive my ten year old car and eat fast food without qualm. I'd go grocery shopping and to the dentist and to the hair salon. There is only ONE SMALL PROBLEM.....

.....It's already been done.
In 2009, there was a documentary/reality TV show about a 55 year old woman who shot out a baby. (The lady's story isn't happy, as evidenced by her being charged with manslaughter. But, that's a whole different technically non-related issue.) Even at 55 years old, I wouldn't be the first person to achieve this success and I'd have to have a different name for my TV show because she's already hogged the one I would use. I could still have a baby and TV show, but I'd have to change it to "Pregnant and 56." But, even that wouldn't be that surprising as she had another baby when she was 62 years old. SIXTY TWO!

God bless America, I'm going to poke my eyes out if I still have the ability to cook a baby in my girl parts when I am 62 years old. I'm not ready for "Pregnant and 63." I'd like to provide my ovaries a well-deserved retirement by the time I'm 63 years old.

And, I wonder why we have a non-reality reality TV star entrancing the masses. The media has us by the balls. We eat this crap up. We ask for more. We believe what we see, even when we can see the wizard behind the curtain.

Like I said... Pawn stars, duck callers, singers, dancers, survivors, screaming housewives, bigger than not brother, dating bachelors, wrestlers, tiaras on tots, bosses and celebrities. Not my reality. Hopefully not your reality. Just for today: turn off the 24 hour news and make distance between you and the election. Go for a walk. Get some fresh air. Look for unbiased information. Eat some ice cream. Accept that wrestling is not real.


....I hope you know TV wrestling isn't real.  I'd hate to think I was like someone who tells a six year old Santa is not real.

Okay, okay. Wrestling is as real as a movie or a sit-com or your favorite book.  Wrestling is as real as any entertainment...

.....it's as real as those screaming housewives. Just leave Santa and my poor ovaries out of this.
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