Gloating, Goating, Squawking, Clowning

So, where have you been?

Oh, wait--it's me who needs to answer that question.

The Addiverse has been filled with avoidance techniques, requiring additional hours "hiding" people on Facebook, watching Amazon Video rather than cower in front of the TV, hanging out at art shows and contemplating the healing properties of making art instead of wasting brain cells on anything less profound. It's a beautiful time of year, with trees bursting into flaming colors and football season in full bloom. Oh, how I do love autumn. Even ragweed, the pathetic play of the Chicago Bears and the shortening of the days can't keep me down this time of year.

As you peeps of the Addiverse know, I always keep an "eye" out for our dogs-no-longer-on this-earthly plane, with Freckles showing up as a lion and Lucy showing up as a blue bird. I've seen a lot of lion photos lately; blue birds have been showing up in person. (I remain glad that lions are not showing up in person. After all, what the hell would I do if there were a lion in the back yard?) Lucy has decided to show up as a blue jay. A loud blue jay--a squawking blur of

blue. I've always loved the call of the blue jay, as it reminds me of childhood trips to the "cottage." Now, the sound makes me smile for two reasons, as it now lets me know Lucy is near. I have a blue jay that is hanging out at one of the sites; in fact, while sitting in the parking lot last week, a blue jay hopped onto the light right next to me and had much to say. At first, I was pretty stunned that this bird was perched so close to me. Then, I said hello and thank you, as one should always thank and recognize signs. The bird had something in its beak--I think it was a peanut, but that didn't keep it from talking. I had a quick conversation with this yappy bird and waited for it to fly away. Funny thing is, it didn't seem in too much of a hurry to hit the road. So, I stayed and it stayed and it was marvelous.

Halloween is right around the corner. Friends, a word of advice: don't dress up like a clown. 

I've never been a clown fan, no offense to clowns. This year, being dressed as a clown might end you up in handcuffs or worse, all because those scary clowns are lurking about the neighborhoods. This isn't a new phenomenon; clown sightings have been happening for decades. It's just that 24 hour news and social media have taken clown-mania to a whole 'nother level.

I have two young co-workers who truly believe the clown thing was devised by the government to distract us from other newsworthy things. At first, I thought they were kidding. Then, I realized

they weren't and thus worried for their sanity. Now, I think they may be genius. After all, we ARE talking about scary clowns instead of other scary things. Those youngsters might be onto something.

The Chicago Bears are not officially clowns but they might be better off in clown make-up, considering how awful their season has been. People are talking about them, so might as well make it two-for-one. They are making it easier for me to make picks in the football pool--just don't pick the Bears and it's a sure win for my fantasy football team.

Speaking of sports (the Bears still are a sports team, despite current record), the Chicago Cubs are firing up win after win, quite to my Cubbie Blue heart. Being a lifelong Cubs fan (the only team to which I am fully true) has me terrified that a goat will cross the field and the team will implode during the first round of the playoffs. The Friendly Confines will burst into flames and goats around the nation will gloat in glee.

What a year the Boys in Blue have had. Winning is fun to do and to watch. I pray to the Baby Jesus that this year brings home top honors. I hope that Sox fans are drowning their sorrows in some form of cheap canned beer instead of taunting their cross town rivals. Only time will tell. Call me pessimistically optimistic.

"Keep the goats and clowns off the field." That is my new mantra for the fall....

....although, they say one should always envision what is wanted, not what is not wanted, I think I'll fine tune that mantra to be:

"Thank you for the lack of goats and clowns in my life." That should do it. Winning is fun. Winning while wearing Cubbie blue is even more fun. Winning when while wearing Cubbie Blue and staying far away from clowns and goats is the most fun. I love winning at fantasy football but I'd love a World Series win even better. Be strong, north-siders, be strong.

Hey, maybe the government has the Cubs AND clowns in the news to really keep us distracted. Who has time for politics, global warming and whatnot when there are victorious Cubs and creeping clowns in the news? No argument here. I'll take the win. You keep the clowns.
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